


The Telmarine Wife

by SweetSunnyRose



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types, Chronicles of Narnia - C. S. Lewis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character Death, Cold War, Edmund is a dad, F/M, Golden Age (Narnia), Love and Loss, Past Sexual Abuse, Pevensies Live, Telmarine Age of Narnia, Time Travel, reference to physical abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-15
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2020-09-02 19:49:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 26
Words: 72,716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20250970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetSunnyRose/pseuds/SweetSunnyRose
Summary: He was a Narnian King, sworn to protect the country he loved.She was a Telmarine mistress, bred to despise all things Narnian.Their relationship should have been impossible.It saved their lives instead.Lena met Edmund in Paris while picking the pockets of random Johns.Edmund met Lena in Narnia while reining as the Just King.Neither knows of the other’s first encounter.She fell in love with him because he first loved her.And he fell in love with her because she first loved him.This is a tale of love and loss woven across time and universe.The Telmarine WifeA Narnian fanfiction





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'mmmmm back... :) With a whole new story for your entertainment. And this will be a different story from anything I've done before. So I want to give you a few warnings first...
> 
> -This story is rated T due to references of sexual and physical abuse.  
-There will be some aspects of Narnia that will be more mature, or darker than the books/movies portrayed.  
-This story will jump between multiple locations and years, but the location and year will always be notated with each new section.  
-This story is AU. You can assume that everything in the books/movies happened up through the final book. With one exception, the Pevensies did not die in the train crash. Instead they lived, had careers, fell in love, got married and well...You'll see what happens next. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> Disclaimer: The Pevensies, Cair Paravel, and Narnia are the property of C. S. Lewis. I just like to play in it.

**Chapter 1**

**1958, London**

“I’m sorry, Sir. There’s nothing more we can do for her but make her as comfortable as we can. If there’s anything, you and your family need, please don’t hesitate to ask us.”

**Narnia**

Lena had the sensation of something very warm and very bright bearing down upon her. She opened her eyes to find the sun shining through a break in the leafy canopy above her. She realized she must have dozed off. Lena found it curious because she couldn’t recall lying down for a nap; it was made more curious because her surroundings were unfamiliar to her.

Lena slowly pushed herself into an upright position. The weariness and soreness that usually permeated her every muscle was slowly fading into nothing. It was a rather curious thing as well, but one she could give little thought to as something else took precedence.

“Mamma?”

Lena heard Meri’s voice calling out to her and she whipped around trying to find her.

“Merina? Merina, where are you?” she called back to her.

“Mamma!”

Another voice joined hers and Lena’s heart beat wildly. Rising to her feet took a little more effort than sitting, but even that was much easier than it should have been. She braced herself against the trunk of a tree and called out to Meri a little louder.

Then, at last, Meri came into view rounding a large bush. Merina, Lena’s eldest daughter at sixteen, and with her, her sister, Sarina, of only six years with a smile as bright as the sun and a head full of bouncy curls.

“Sara, no!” Meri called out as Sarina ran towards Lena.

“It’s alright, Meri; let her come,” Lena said.

Tears came to her eyes when, for the first time in nearly a year, Lena had strength enough to hold Sara on her own. Securing Sara with one arm Lena wrapped the other around Meri’s neck. She held them close, showered them with love, and drowned in their affection.

“My daughters. Oh, my beautiful daughters! *Amore mio, cuore mio, vita mia!” Lena said kissing the tops of each of their heads. Sara giggled.

“Mamma, where are we?” Meri asked as she pulled back.

Lena finally took a moment to truly assess their surroundings. They were in a lightly packed forest with a well-trodden road not far from them. The road was only wide enough for a single cart or possibly two horses side by side. There were no street signs or road markers though, and the road round seamlessly through the forest in both directions. Lena had absolutely no idea where they were, but she knew they weren’t in West London anymore.

“I…I don’t know, *Topa.”

“What are we going to do?”

“We…are going to figure it out and then we will find a way home, but we won’t do that by just standing here. We’ll have to walk, find the nearest town. Do you remember your lessons with Babbo?”

Meri gave her an incredulous look that screamed *_Dio mio, Mamma!_

Not knowing where they were, there was nothing Lena could do but pick a direction and start walking. Two things quickly became clear to Lena on their walk. 1) All her old strength had not completely returned as evidenced by Sara becoming too heavy to carry for very long; that, or she had grown more than Lena realized since the last time she was able to properly hold her. Lena resolved the issue by putting Sara down and simply holding her hand as they walked. 2) Neither their dresses nor their shoes were made for long walks in a forest. There was nothing they could do about that since it would be improper to strip to their undergarments and far worse of a walk for them to go without their shoes.

They walked for an hour, maybe more maybe less—it’s hard to say—before stopping to rest their weary feet. Meri had picked up the track of a little stream. The water was just cool enough to be pleasantly refreshing as they drank. While they rested though, Lena couldn’t shake the feeling that they were being watched.

The old myths and fables that Nurse used to tell Lena to warn against the dangers of venturing into the woods, the ones of monstrous beasts and life-leeching ghosts, came back to her. Of course, she never believed in the old myths; she thought they were stupid tales boys said to one another in an attempt to see who among them was bravest. But when she was Meri’s age, Lena learned the hard way that there was a fraction of truth to those myths and that monstrous men were as real as the beasts.

“We shouldn’t tarry long. Come now, Topas,” she said, rising to her feet once more and stirring Sara into motion.

“Mamma, wait!” Meri called. “Do you hear that?”

Lena paused and listened. It was distant and faint but fast approaching: the sound of horses’ hooves.

“Quick! Meri, take your sister and hide!”

“Mamma, I can…”

“Hide!” she ordered. “There, behind that bush.”

Thankfully, Meri didn’t argue further but instead took her sister as instructed. Once they were safely hidden, Lena stepped away so she wouldn’t draw attention to their hiding spot. They were far enough away from the road that they shouldn’t be noticed, but she didn’t want to take any chances…

However, Lena didn’t take into account who, or rather what, was in the approaching party. It wasn’t just horses but all manner of other beasts and creatures as well. There were birds that flew, great cats and wolves that ran, and some strange creatures with the bodies of horses and torsos of men, others with goat-like legs and curved horns on their head. Lena’s mouth suddenly ran as dry as the Great Desert; her stomach turned to lead.

_Not here. Anywhere but here._

She tried to shrink away into the shadows, but it was too late. One of the beasts had spotted her and the whole party came to a stop. Some of the larger beasts closed ranks around a horse and its rider she could not see clearly.

“State your name and business here,” the nearest creature demanded. He, she supposed it was a he at least, was one of the creatures who looked like a man from the waist up, but his legs looked like they belonged to a goat. He held a long spear in one hand and though he wasn’t holding it in a threatening manner, Lena somehow knew it would take nothing to change that. The creature cast a wary eye to his comrade when she didn’t answer him.

“You were asked to state your name and business in these parts,” the creature said again.

“My…my name is my own and my business…I just want to go home,” Lena replied.

“And where is home?”

“Not here,” she said plainly.

There was movement from behind the blockade; the rider was getting off his horse. Lena still couldn’t see him clearly, but that was mostly because she didn’t want to take her eyes off the strange creatures, the very sight of whom made her feel like she had ants crawling on her skin. Then the rider spoke and his voice was so familiar to her that it pushed everything else to the side.

Lena turned to look at him as he stepped out from behind his guard. He was dressed in simple, yet somehow elegant, riding clothes. He looked battle drawn and weary, and yet, as always, he seemed carefree and full of life. His crown of golden hair was a bit longer than when she last saw him, and his persistent stubble was now a full beard. The most surprising thing though was the simple fact that he was here, now, standing before her and he looked as though he didn’t know her at all, when in fact, he’d seen her only yesterday.

“Peter?” Lena asked before she could stop herself. He continued to look at her without any recognition in his eyes. Lena took a step towards him only to have his guard rush her, their various weapons at arms.

“Peter, what is this? What are you doing here? How…how is this even possible? Where are we?”

“You are in Narnia, and you are speaking with the High King. You will address him as such,” the creature said.

“*Scemo più scemo! I know we’re in Narnia, but this…this isn’t possible. We’re not supposed to be here.”

Lena could feel the cold grip of panic begin to set in; it took hold of her lungs and slowly began to squeeze. She tried to recall her breathing techniques. It worked, but only a little and she knew it wouldn’t last.

“Peter, please. It’s me; it’s Ileana.”

**XXX**

“Sire, do you know this lady?” Orieus asked Peter softly.

Peter shook his head slowly and stepped forward.

“I’m sorry, Ileana, did you say? There must be some mistake; we haven’t had the pleasure of meeting yet,” Peter said.

Lena shook her head. Even from a distance, Peter could tell there were tears in her eyes. “No. No, don’t do this, Peter.” She looked away and bit her lip. “Ed! Where’s your brother? He’ll put an end to this. Is he here too? Please, I…I need to see him.”

Lena’s words were becoming more frantic and her accent heavier. She muttered a few things in a language Peter didn’t know but he thought sounded strangely familiar. He glanced sideways at Orieus. While he tried to figure out why the language was familiar to him, he noticed the Narnians around him were growing nervous. The language must sound really strange to them, so he stepped closer to Lena; his Cheetah guard followed.

“My good, Lady, you are making my friends uneasy. Please, speak only our common tongue,” he said gently but with authority.

Lena looked at him with big brown eyes. Her long dark hair fell loosely around her oval face. She stood maybe four inches shorter than him. She could be pretty, he thought, but she was thin, too thin. Her eyes were set into deep sockets. Her cheeks were hollow, her pale skin pulled tightly over them. And her dress, a very strange dress, likely wouldn’t fit the smallest of his Sisters. Lena gave one the impression of death.

“You…You really have no idea who I am, do you?” she asked sadly.

“I’m sorry; I don’t.”

She wiped her eyes. “Tell me this then, how many times have you been to this world?”

“How many times…?” Peter was confused by the question. “This is the thirteenth year of Our reign.”

“What year does that make this?”

“Year? The year is 1013, why?”

“Ten… Tha—that’s not possible. How is this possible?”

She was beginning to panic again, but several things happened at once to distract her. First, something moved in a bush behind her. She whipped around to look, shouting something in that foreign language as she did. One Faun grabbed her arms while another leapt around her to inspect the bush and two more pushed Peter back behind their spears. Two young girls emerged from the bush and tried to run for Lena, but the Fauns stopped them.

“They are my daughters! You will release me!” she demanded of the Faun, with cold hatred in her voice.

The Faun looked to Peter, waiting for his command. Peter nodded his head slightly; he wasn’t in the business of separating a mother from her daughters. Peter watched as they rushed together. Lena scooped up the littlest one and again spoke in that other language. It occurred to Peter then that it was familiar to him because it was from that _other_ place, the place they were _before_. If that was the case, then Lena and her daughters must be from the _other_ place too. That would certainly explain their odd clothing a bit more.

“What do you smell, Jagar?” Peter asked quietly. His Cheetah guard sniffed the air around them.

“Fear, my King. Confusion, a touch of excitement, but mostly…fear.”

“Do you sense any threat from them?”

“From the kittens, no. But the oldest is a mother and she is frightened; that is a dangerous combination.”

“She is not from here, my Friend. I believe, she is from that other place. What does Tumnus call it? Spare Oom? Would you not also be frightened if you found yourself far from home and someone was threatening your kittens?”

“If I had any, my King, I would maul the creature who threatened them.”

“Precisely, my Friend.”

“Precisely, my King,” Jagar repeated. Peter sighed but he would not relent.

“We are duty-bound to help them in whatever way we can. We will take them back to the Cair with us. We will consult with our Brother and Sisters on the matter. Have one of the carts prepared so that they may ride in it.”

“As you command, my King.” The Cheetah turned to give the order but a brush of wind brought a new scent.

“What is it, Jagar?” Peter asked.

“It is a curious thing, my King, but I smell your brother.”

“Ed’s nearby?”

“No. I smell him…on them.” Jagar turned to look at Lena and her daughters. Peter looked over at them too, just as the Fauns before him cleared away. The oldest daughter caught sight of Peter and cried out with great joy.

“Uncle Peter!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations  
Amore mio, cuore mio, vita mia: My love, my heart, my life.  
Topa/s, short for Toppalina: Little mouse/mice  
Dio mio, Mamma: Oh my God, mom!  
Scemo più scemo: Most stupid fool


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**1948, Outside a Jazz bar in France**

He had pretty blue eyes and blonde hair. That is one thing this world had that the other did not: variety. Lena had seen men with blonde hair blue eyes, red hair and sunspots, dark-skinned men, and men whiter than snow. In that other place, everyone looked like everyone else. And the language! There were so many languages here; Lena loved it. However they looked though, and no matter the language they spoke, Lena found that men were all the same at their core. They all wanted the same thing; they all thought the same thing, and as such, being blessed by beauty as she was, they were easily manipulated.

He leaned in for the kiss, breath soaked in alcohol and smoke. Lena allowed it to continue only for as long as necessary. Then she pulled back, cheeks a flush with heat and eyes demure.

“*Monsieur, je suis désolé. I think this wine too strong. We forget ourselves.”

He pulled back too, shamefully apologetic and none-the-wiser. “Mademoiselle, ze fault is mine. A man should never forget ‘is ‘onor.”

Honor. She hated the word. Lena had never met a man with honor, neither here nor there.

“Perhaps, in another life, we will be in our right minds,” she said.

He lifted her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “I will look for you in my dreams.”

Lena tried not to gag. “And I will be there.”

She waited until he had walked away before slipping his watch into her clutch handbag. Men were easily distracted.

“I have a proposition for you.”

But when they offered themselves up so easily, such as the new one behind her, it was risky to pursue. There’s no telling how much he had witnessed of the previous one.

“I’m not interested,” Lena replied, not even bothering to look over her shoulder at him. He really wasn’t worth her time.

“You’ll be interested in this,” he replied.

Lena mentally rolled her eyes—a proper Lady never truly does. He was going to be one of those annoying, persistent, not-giving-up-until-I-get-a-kiss types. Lena turned around to face him and to make her point clear, but she froze when she saw his face. She knew that face. It had been eight years and she only saw it for a brief time, but she _knew_ that face. It was not a face one could easily forget. What’s more, he knew she recognized him; the smugness was in his eyes.

“I’m not interested in any proposition of yours, Little King,” Lena spat.

“You haven’t even heard it yet,” he replied. He stood with an arrogant, unabashed, easy smile like he knew she’d accept his offer.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not interested.” Lena turned to walk away. The sooner she was out of his presence, the better.

“I say,” he called after her. “We go together to return that watch to the police like good, honest citizens, I forget that I ever saw you take it, and then you let me buy you dinner.”

Lena froze. *_Merda, _she thought_._ Of course, he saw her take the watch. Shame too; it would have fetched about a hundred francs. Lena pulled it out of her clutch and marched over to him.

“Take the watch yourself, if you wish,” she said, accent thick, as she slammed the watch into his hands. “But I am done satisfying the whims of kings.”

**Narnia**

Lena had dozed off again. She hadn’t intended to, but the walk and the shock of being back in Narnia had taken its toll. Sara’s head lay in her lap. It was no surprise that she had fallen asleep, and it was no surprise that Meri had not; Lena could hear her talking.

Meri wasn’t like Lena. She hadn’t met a stranger who wasn’t also a friend. She didn’t know the pains that came with trusting the wrong person. She was talking to the Cheetah, Jagar. The Non-Peter had claimed that Jagar riding in the cart with them was for their own protection. Lena knew otherwise; he knew otherwise. Non-Peter knew the pains of trusting the wrong person.

“You know much about Narnia,” Jagar said, a hint of suspicion in his voice.

“Oh, yes! Babbo told us all about it. The long winter, how they defeated the White Witch, their voyage east, my favorites though, were the simple ones of life at the Cair.”

“Who is this Babbo? I’ve heard you make mention of him several times.”

“Babbo? He’s our dad, mine and Sara’s. He’s…”

“Merina, *zitto!” Lena said harshly. Then she continued in their tongue. “Do not get comfortable here, Meri; do not make friends. We will be going home very soon and it will be harder for you if you do.”

“And what if I don’t want to go back, Mamma? What if I don’t want to go back to…?” Her eyes turned sad as she thought about what awaited them back in London. Lena didn’t much like the thought of it either.

“All things have their time, Topa.”

“Maybe this is our time here, Mamma. Maybe Aslan brought us here for a reason. I have to believe He did.”

“It is impolite to speak of others in a language they cannot understand,” Jagar said. “And you were asked to speak only in our common tongue.”

Lena looked pointedly at the great cat. “If I wanted you to know what we were saying, I would have meowed.”

“Mamma!” Meri exclaimed while Jagar growled and pinned his ears flat to his head. “Jagar, I’m so sorry. Mamma didn’t mean it. Please, she’s just… Mamma, apologize!”

Meri was right; Lena was out of line, but swallowing one’s pride is a hard thing to do.

“*Signore, mi dispiace. I am sorry, Sir Jagar. I am not myself today; being here brings back memories I’d rather forget,” she said

The Cheetah did not completely relax, but he did un-pin his ears. Then, something else caught his attention and he perked up.

“Daughter of Eve,” he said. “Welcome to Cair Paravel.”

Meri’s head whipped around to look over her shoulder and her face lit up with joy. Lena could not see it until they made a turn south. Then a bright, shining castle with spirals that glistened in the sun rose up before them. Behind the castle, the sky was a clear spotless blue. It was a picturesque view, sure, but it wasn’t the view Lena wanted.

**1948, Same Jazz bar a week later**

This one was more difficult. A simple kiss wasn’t enough; that should have been a sign, and perhaps it was, but Lena ignored it. He required a brush of the hand here, a taste of skin there, but in the end, she still got what she wanted. Lena pulled back.

“Monsieur, je suis désolé. I think this wine too strong; we forgot ourselves.”

“Mademoiselle,” he grinned. “Zere is no need for false modestie.” He grabbed her wrist.

_Ugh. He was one of them,_ she thought. Before Lena could take action against him, though, someone else intervened.

“Monsieur, I believe you dropped this.”

_Really? Did he not know when to quit?_

Monsieur Whatever-his-name-was looked over his shoulder at the Little King. “Wait your turn; zere will be enough to go around.”

Little King didn’t like that. He grabbed Monsieur’s shoulder and pulled him off of Lena. Then with one quick strike, he had him lying on his back with a bloody nose.

“She said no,” Little King said. “Now, I suggest you gather what’s left of your _little_ pride and leave unless you’d like me to break something else.”

Monsieur Whatever-his-name-was threw out a few colorful insults at both of them before stumbling away.

“*Ma, che sei grullo!” Lena said. “Are you following me now?”

“You’re…welcome,” Little King said incredulously.

“I had it well in hand. Do you think he was the first to get a little handsy with me? He wasn’t, and he certainly won’t be the last.”

“I was just trying to help. There’s an easier way to do this, you know. You don’t have to go it alone.”

“I already told you, Little King; I’m not interested in being anything of yours.” Then Lena turned and left him alone in the alley as she headed back inside the jazz bar.

**Narnia**

Lena and her daughters were escorted into a grand entry. Non-Peter was a few paces ahead of them, an army of creatures and Beasts between them and him. Meri walked along with wide eyes and Lena knew she was making a mental comparison of what Babbo said with the reality of it. Sara walked along slowly, still groggy from her nap and wanting Lena to carry her. Lena warned Babbo not to treat her like a princess. But he never listened.

“Peter!”

“Susan!”

Through a break in the guard, Lena watched as Non-Peter and Susan reunited. She held out hope that Susan, being of a sound mind, would recognize them.

“Aunt Suzie!” Sara cried out as she ran forward and latched onto Susan’s dress.

“Oh! Hello, little one,” Susan replied with surprise and not a trace of familiarity. Just like that Lena’s hope was crushed.

“Sarina, *smettila; come back here. I’m sorry, Susan, she gets a little excited sometimes.”

“That’s all right. No harm has been done,” the Non-Susan replied. “You must be Ileana.”

“Yes, but most call me Lena. So, Peter informed you of our…situation?”

“Only what little I gathered,” Peter said.

“Yes, and I must admit that I am baffled by how little that is,” Susan added.

“You are not alone in that respect.”

“Yes, I think we are all there together,” Peter agreed.

“Mamma? I don’t understand,” Meri said, clearly confused. “Why do Uncle Peter and Aunt Susan not recognize us?”

Her question was like a blow to Lena’s stomach.

“Merina, mi amore.” Lena brushed some of Meri’s hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. “My best guess, if I had to say… You know the tales Babbo tells, the ones you love so dearly?”

She nodded her head.

“Well, these, if I’m not mistaken, are their first years of travel. The three of us have, somehow, come back into a Narnia that existed long before I was born. Put simply, they do not know us because they have not yet met us.”

“What… what about Babbo? Will he remember us?”

This was the hardest question, the truth of which Lena did not want to face.

“There has been nothing I’ve seen so far, that would suggest that he will.”

“But that is a worry for another day,” Non-Susan said, quickly stepping in. “Our Brother is not here; he and Our Sister are still in Archenland returning a young Prince to his father.”

“Oh. Good. Then perhaps we can get to the bottom of this and return me and my daughters home before he arrives.”

“Perhaps. But first, I think you are in need of a hot meal.”

“And perhaps, some strong ale,” Non-Peter suggested.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations
> 
> Monsieur, je suis désolé : Sir, I’m sorry (French)  
Merda: shit  
Zitto: shut it  
Signore, mi dispiace: Sir, I’m sorry (Italian)  
Ma, che sei grullo: But, how stupid are you  
Smettila: stop it


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: In this chapter, we see a bit of a darker view of the Telmarine Age of Narnia. There are strong references to past abuse and trauma.

**Chapter 3**

“Would you like some more?” Susan asked. “There’s plenty of it.”

“Oh, no thank you. I’m fine now. It…” Lena paused as she looked over to where Meri and Sara were playing with a couple of Narnians. “It’s just been a while since I’ve been able to eat like this.”

“Oh? Were you in the forest long before Peter found you?”

“No, not very.” Lena had to force herself to focus on her conversation with Susan and Peter. “I don’t know. I was never good at tracking time like that. Ed tried to teach me, but I never had the mind for it. Meri did, however.”

Lena’s attention drifted back to her daughters. They were playing with what appeared to be younger versions of the goat-like creatures she saw in the forest. “I’m sorry, but what…what are those things exactly?”

“Things?” Susan asked.

“Those…_creatures_…playing with my daughters. What are they?” There was a rumbling of low growls issuing from the Cheetah and a large Lynx standing behind Peter and Susan.

“Peace, Jagar,” Peter said. “Remember, she is not from here. They are Faunlings, my Lady.” Lena’s back stiffened; Peter noticed but continued as though he hadn’t. “Their parents assist around the castle in various means. One of them helped prepare your meal today, along with a Dwarfess and two Dryads.”

Lena looked down at her empty plate where not even a crumb was left. For half a second, she felt sick to her stomach and she tried to recall every good thing she had heard about Narnians; her recollection was short, as she never cared for Cuore’s Narnian tales. Peter and Susan grew quiet. Lena looked over to see them sharing a look.

“And are…are they safe?” she asked. There was more growling.

“I’m not entirely sure I like what you are implying with that question,” Peter said pointedly.

“I think I would agree with you, Brother,” Susan added.

Lena closed her eyes and tried to calm her temper. “My apologies if I have offended, it’s just that…Fauns are…” _unnatural_, she wanted to say but restrained herself at the last minute “…not in the world we came from.”

There was a slight pause before Peter said, “I assure you, you and your daughters are quite safe in the presence of any Narnian here.”

“Peter…the Peter I know,” Lena corrected, “has never lied to me before. If you say they are safe, then I will believe you.”

Peter nodded. “They _are_ safe,” he repeated. Lena let out a slow exhale. The Cheetah and Lynx resumed a slightly less aggressive stance.

“So, you call him Ed then?” Susan asked, trying to change the subject. “Our Brother, you call him Ed?

“Mostly, yes, in public at least. Why?” Lena asked.

“That’s usually a name—”

“—he reserves for family,” they finished together. “He prefers it to Little King,” Lena continued.

Peter laughed quite unexpectedly. “Yes, I imagine he would.”

“The two of you have a similar laugh, did you know? When he’s rapturously happy, he laughs like that.”

“Is he rapturously happy often?” Susan asked.

“Oh yes, especially when he’s with them.” Lena nodded to her daughters. “He adores them and they him. They’re always off on one of their adventures; be it the wild moors of the north or a grand vessel on the open seas.”

“And where do you fit in on these adventures?” Peter asked.

“I’ve had my fill of adventure; I mostly sit them out, but together the three of them can be quite…persuasive.”

**1957, Isle of Wight**

“Vieni, Mamma! Giochiamo!” Meri called.

Lena looked up from her book and down the beach to where Meri and Sara were playing at the water’s edge with their Babbo. They were all flagging her down.

“Jo’camo! Jo’camo!” Sara shouted.

“Mi Amore! Vieni!” Cuore called.

He shouted a few more love-sick phrases and something about needing to rescue a pirate princess from the sea serpent. Really, the boy didn’t know the meaning of quit. Lena slid her bookmark into place and made her way down.

“So, what am I? The princess or the sea serpent?” she asked.

“Mamma! We the princesses!” Sara giggled.

Cuore looked at her and shrugged. “If it’s any consolation, you’re a very pretty sea serpent.”

“Oh, I’m the prettiest,” she replied with a sly grin.

They played for quite some time, splashing in the water and skipping lunch. Their adventure ended not with the death of the serpent but with her transformation into a beautiful princess who fell in love with the Pirate King. After which, the girls ran up to their blanket for their sandwiches. Cuore kept Lena at the water’s edge, his arms wrapped around her waist.

“Ti amo, luce mia,” he said.

“E ti amo, Cuore.”

They shared a brief moment together before Lena pulled away to join the girls; he was insatiably relentless sometimes. Lena looked over her shoulder at him as she walked; she could never get enough of his smile. His love, his hope, and his joy fading into fear were the last things she saw before the world spun around her.

“Ileana? Ileana!”

**Narnia**

“Ileana?” Peter repeated her name, drawing Lena’s attention back into the present.

“Are you all right? You went somewhere else for a moment,” Susan said.

“Yes, sorry. I…I was just recalling our last trip to the beach,” Lena replied. Her eyes became moist as she recalled the last look she ever saw in Cuore’s eyes: sadness enough to crush a man’s spirit. Lena dabbed at her tears with her napkin. Meri seemed to have a sixth sense when it came to Lena’s emotions, especially as of late; she looked over at Lena with a question in her eyes.

“Sto bene, Topa,” Lena tried to assure her. “Continuare.”

“What language is that?” Susan asked.

“It’s familiar, right?” Peter said. “I can’t figure it out, but I believe it’s from that _other_ place.”

“Is it Latin?”

Lena smiled softly; she and Susan often mixed their languages in conversations to make it harder for others to follow.

“Latin isn’t used as its own language anymore, except among some elite who like to showcase their abilities. However, it is the foundation—”

“—foundation for many of the modern languages used today,” Susan finished in a faraway voice as though remembering something from long ago.

“So, if not Latin then what is it?” Peter asked.

Lena hesitated for a moment. How much did she delve into now? “Italian is the closest thing that world had to my native tongue, so I took it as my own. I can speak others too; French, Spanish, a bit of German and Russian.”

“What is your native tongue?” Susan asked.

Lena paused a little longer before answering, “Telmarine.”

“You’re…you’re a Telmarine… from Telmar?” Peter asked, surprised and perhaps a bit wary.

“But how did you get to that other place?” Susan asked.

Lena shook her head. “No. Not here.” That was something she wouldn’t get into now. “Meri knows many of Babbo’s tales from Narnia, but I have a few of my own that she does not know about, nor shall she. There are some dark cruelties of this world that she is too young for.”

**XXX**

Peter looked over at Susan while Lena poured herself another glass of ale. They had moved to a more private setting after their lunch on the terrace, while Meri and Sara were being shown around the castle and its grounds. Peter was weary from his journey and thought they could wait a day or two, or at least a few hours, to hear Lena’s story, but Susan insisted on doing it now. It wouldn’t do any good though if Lena was too drunk to tell her story.

“Perhaps we should tame our consumption; overindulgence will benefit none,” Susan wisely suggested.

Lena scoffed. “For this tale of woe, consumption is a necessity.” She took a hearty sip from her cup. “Mmm, I am unfamiliar with this drink; is it Doornish Ale?”

“No. It was made locally by some Dwarves,” Peter replied.

“Oh.” She looked at the cup curiously before setting it down. Then she glanced warily to the wall behind Peter and Susan where their guard stood watch. Peter thought her reaction a bit unsettling. It was clear she was uncomfortable around Narnians and Narnian made things.

“Do…do they have to be here?” she asked.

Peter looked at Susan.

“Yes,” Susan replied gently. “You may claim to know us, Ileana, but we cannot say the same about you. Try to see it from our perspective. Would you leave your daughters in a room alone with someone you did not know without any sort of protection?”

Lena watched the Narnians for a bit more before nodding. “Point taken, Susan.” Then she sat back in her chair. “So, shall I start at the beginning then? I am Ileana Maria Pevensie formerly Bellariu of the house Labugia,” she began with a deep breath. “And I was born in Bridgetowne.”

“Where is Bridgetowne?” Susan asked. “Somewhere in Telmar?”

“Not quite,” Lena replied. “It’s in New Telmar, better known as Narnia in my day.”

“There is no such land hold in Narnia,” Peter said firmly. He did not like the sound of Narnia being referred to as New Telmar.

“Not yet,” Lena replied. “But there will be. See, I was born in the year 2287, almost thirteen hundred years from now.”

“That’s not possible,” Susan said logically. She and Peter were in agreement on that.

“It would seem, that in Narnia the impossible is possible,” Lena said. She eyed the discarded cup of ale and decided to go against her reservations as she picked it up and took another long sip.

“I understand this tale may be…difficult to hear, but I assure you it is no better to have lived it,” she said. Then she took a deep breath before continuing.

“In Telmarine society, a woman’s worth is measured by how many sons she gives her husband. I was my mother’s first failed attempt; by her third…she was Mother no more. They told me it was an accident, but I’m not sure I believed them. I was my father’s only living child and he had no use for a daughter. So, he sent me to Padrona Labugia, where the other unwanted daughters were sent.

“At the House of Labugia, young girls were…trained, polished and poised, wrapped in pretty packages. Every few months or so, men came by and selected from among the…blossomed girls. But a man didn’t go to Labugia to select a wife; he selected his mistress.”

She took a drink.

“I was chosen by some small Lord. He held no great power, but he had a place at the castle and he had friends who liked to make occasioni, or…bargains, trades. They’d give him money, land, favors, and in return, they’d get a night with me, sometimes longer depending on the value of the occasioni. And a small Lord with no great power soon had great power.”

She took another drink.

“That’s terrible,” Susan said. “Your father let this Lord do that to you?”

“My father never cared. When he sent me to Labugia, he took home a mistress of his own. I’d heard later that he’d had the son he always wanted so he made his mistress his wife and took a new mistress. Telmarine men can be very…crude.”

“To say the least. Our dealings with them have been unpleasant, but I never imagined they could be that unpleasant,” Peter said. “Please, continue your story.”

“Our King was dead and so was his Queen. The Prince was too young to ascend, so we were governed by his uncle, The Lord Protector. When his wife was with child he sought a new mistress; god forbid he actually sleep with his own wife again. He’d heard of my…skills—I was very favorable among the Lords of the castle—and my small Lord was happy to accommodate the Lord Protector. But when my small Lord sought an occasioni too high in return, well…he was lord no more and I was free for the taking.

“Being a mistress to the Lord Protector did afford me some _small_ privileges. I was reserved for his use alone and untouchable by all others. Even his wife could not touch me. Now, his child with her did not take; so, he went back to her and did his Lordly duty, but I was the one who kept his bed warm at night, even after he usurped the throne from his nephew and became King.”

Lena finished off the last of her ale. Then she looked over at Peter and Susan; they looked a little pale she thought. So, she poured them each a glass of ale, as well as another one for herself, and they all drank in the silence together.

“How…how old were you when this happened?” Peter was the first to regain his voice.

“I was fourteen when I left the House of Labugia and nearly seventeen by the end of it.”

“How could something like this have happened here?” Susan asked. “We would not permit this.”

“And how could you have stopped it? It happens thirteen hundred years from now. You and Yours are gone. Even we Telmarines had been ruling for a few hundred years before I was born. And it…it was a very different sort of Narnia. There were fewer… _Fauns_ and _Centaurs_, hardly any talking Beasts anymore. And the tales that were told of them, dreadful things.”

“Tales?”

“Young children were told of monstrous creatures, some who were half-man-half-beast, who…” She sighed deeply. “Who used to roam the land freely. They were said to have lived deep in the forests with the ghosts, but every once and a while, when a child misbehaved, they would come out of hiding. They would steal the child from their beds at night and take them into the forest where they would roast them in stews, pick their teeth with their bones, and wear…”

“I’ve heard enough,” Peter said with finality. There was growling from behind him; he waved down the Cats.

“That explains your aversion to the Narnians then,” Susan said, a bit of understanding in her voice.

“I try to fight it, but it is difficult,” Lena said eyeing the Narnians in the corner with unease.

“How did you escape this Lord Protector? How did you come to leave Narnia?” Peter asked.

“Escape? I’ve never escaped him. Mi Tesera, my treasure, that’s what he called me. I was his and his alone. One day, the young Prince rebelled against his uncle. He rallied what was left of the Narnians; there was a great battle.

“Miraz, the Lord Protector, he…he liked putting me on display so he took me to the war camp with his army. While he was off fighting, I ran from my guard; men cannot run as well with their pants around their ankles. It was stupid, I know. If I had been caught, the things they would have done to me, I… But I no longer cared. At that point, death would have been better than life. But, I wasn’t caught, not by any Telmarine at least.”

“What did happen?” Susan asked gently.

“It’s strange, even thinking back on it now I can scarcely remember it.” Lena’s gaze grew distant and her voice took on a lighter air as she remembered that day. “I must have imagined it, surely, but I…I thought I saw this lion, but he… He wasn’t a _normal_ lion. I can’t explain how I knew, it was just a feeling I had if that makes any sense.”

“It makes a good deal of sense to us,” Peter replied. “It could only have been Aslan you saw.”

“Aslan.” Lena repeated softly. “I’ve heard Cuore use that name before. He’s your…your God, I suppose is the best word to use.”

“He is…the True King of Narnia, above all others, myself included. He created this world we live in. He is life. He is hope. He is joy.”

“He is a lion?”

“But He is no normal Lion.”

“Ed never mentioned that bit of information.”

“Are you surprised that a land of Talking Beasts should be ruled by a Talking Beast?” Peter asked.

“I… I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised by anything anymore, and yet the great wonders of the world often do.”

“What happened next? After you saw Aslan in the woods, what happened? Did he speak to you?” Susan asked curiously.

“Speak? No, I…I just looked at Him and He looked at me. Then I was in this whole other place, on a beach with smells and sounds that were foreign to me and Caterina was there.”

“Caterina?”

“She’s my…” Lena paused for a second. Just how did she describe Caterina to them? “She became someone very near and dear to me. She became my friend. She took me in, gave me shelter and food, and perhaps best of all a bed of my own. Our languages were similar enough that I could adapt hers as mine. Caterina knew the sort of cruelties I was running from, and when Meri came along, she knew just what to do.”

“So, wait, Meri isn’t Edmund’s? I thought he was her father.”

“Meri…Meri was given to me by Miraz. I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was already with Caterina in the other place, but Ed is her Babbo and he has never treated her any differently than he’s treated Sara who is his by blood.”

“What you faced in this…future Narnia, well, there aren’t words to describe how vile and repulsive it is to Us, and you have Our deepest sympathies,” Peter said. “But your story of Edmund doesn’t add up. How can you meet him in that _other_ place if he is here?”

“Because we… we go back,” Susan said softly before Lena could even begin to consider how to reply. “Peter, I believe her.” The Queen Susan stood with Royal authority. “Baja, Jagar, did you sense any dishonesty from Ileana?” Susan asked.

The great cats looked at Lena and studied her carefully. “Fear, discomfort yes, but honest as well, my Queen,” the Lynx replied.

Peter turned to look at the Cheetah. “She speaks truthfully,” Jagar said.

“Thank you,” Susan said. “Now, please, leave us. Set a perimeter; we are not to be disturbed, and you are sworn to keep what you may hear to yourself.”

She waited a moment for the Narnians to leave. Then she turned back to Peter. “As I said, Brother, I believe her. And I think now we have the meaning behind my dreams.” Susan looked back at Lena. “Our Brother and Sister do not know this, Ileana, but about a month ago I began to have a reoccurring dream of a different life when I was younger. I am never any older than Meri is now, but they all seem to occur in the other place.”

She turned back to Peter. “I think it is time to face the truth, Peter. Our time here is coming to an end. Ileana’s arrival, her life, and her daughter’s lives are proof of another life we live away from Narnia. We must begin making preparations, a contingency plan to protect and care for what is Ours in Our absence.”

They both looked at Lena then, and she had the unsettling feeling that she was disrupting their delicate sense of peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations
> 
> Vieni, Mamma! Giochiamo: Come, Mamma, let’s play  
Ti amo, luce mia: I love you, my light (light of mine)  
E ti amo, Cuore: And I love you, (my) Heart  
Sto bene, Topa… Continuare: I’m fine, Topa…continue


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**1958, London**

Lena’s limbs felt heavy, her mind groggy. She opened her eyes but everything was blurred. And sound was muted. She didn’t know where she was and it frightened her.

“Cuore?” she called weakly.

Suddenly a face appeared before her. His dark hair was unruly, his eyes were rimmed in red, dark circles forming beneath them, but his smile…oh his smile was precious. His smile meant the world to her.

“Cuore,” she murmured as she returned his smile.

“I’m here,” he said. He took her hand—all skin and bones that it was—and he kissed the back of it.

“Cuore, I…I didn’t…I disrupted…mean to…I…”

It felt like there was something important that she had to tell him; she needed him to understand, but she couldn’t get the words out. And the thought quickly faded. She was tired, so very tired. Her eyes began to flutter closed; she tried to fight it.

“It’s all right, mi amore.” His smile turned a little sad. He leaned forward to gently kiss her forehead and she caught a whiff of her favorite scent. “Just sleep now. I’ll be right here. Sleep.”

His face began to fade from view as sleep overtook her; she struggled against her last words. “Ti…amo…”

He smiled through his teary eyes and pressed his lips to her hand. “E ti amo.”

**1952, Sicily**

Lena moaned as she rolled over in bed. The space beside her was vacant. Why was it vacant? She opened her eyes groggily. Her vision was hazy at first before it slowly came into focus and she saw him sitting at the little writing desk. Lena could really only make out his outline, but it was an outline she knew well, an outline she craved to be near.

“Did I wake you?” he asked softly.

“Yes,” she replied simply. “I rolled over and you weren’t there. Why aren’t you there?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just finishing up some work.”

“Work? Dio mio, Cuore. It’s our *luna di miele.”

“I know, and I’m sorry. I tried to finish this before we left, but you were just so…scintillating.” His voice turned husky. “I’ll finish this and then I’ll be done. *Promesso. Now, just go back to sleep.”

Lena bit her lip and shook her head. “Not until you come back to bed with me.”

She could hear his head waging war with his heart. “Soon, mi amore. Just sleep now.”

Lena pushed herself up the bed and the sheets fell down her leg. With a little twist, the thin strap of her silk chemise slid down her shoulder.

“Come to bed, Cuore, per favore. Come to bed with me.”

There was a long pause, during which her hand slowly slid up her leg pulling the hem of her chemise with it. Though she couldn’t see his eyes in the dark, Lena knew they were watching her every move intently. Then he cursed lightly under his breath before leaving the desk in a hurry and crawling up the bed to her.

**1948, France**

Lena sensed rather than heard someone approaching from behind. Instinctively she reached for the six-inch protection plan she had against too handsy guys. Then she looked up in her mirror.

“Not you again,” she said, turning around to face him. “How the hell did you even get back here?”

“William owed me a favor,” the Little King said.

“Well, now he’s a dead favor.”

His eyes dropped to the knife Lena still clutched in her hand. “Do you even know how to use that?”

“It’s not like it’s that hard.” Lena wasn’t about to admit to him that she’d never actually had to use it before; usually just flashing it worked wonders on drunken men.

“It’s quite easy to harm yourself with it as well, easier in fact, especially if you’re holding it wrong… Which you are. I could show you how to use it properly…if you’d like.”

“Come a step closer and I’ll show you how properly I can use it.”

He held up his hands in surrender, a small smirk on his face, and took a step back.

“Look, I… I think you might have taken our last encounters the wrong way,” he said.

“Oh? And how is stalking and breaking a man’s nose supposed to be taken the right way?”

“I’m not stalking you and the *_salaud_ deserved worse.”

“Really? You’re not stalking me?” Lena couldn’t contradict the latter part of his statement. “Finding me once, that’s luck. A second time, coincidence. But a third time, stalking.”

“If you’re trying to hide you’re not doing a very good job of it. You sing in the same jazz bar every night, quite well I might add. That’s why I’m here actually.”

“No. That’s why you’re leaving…now, or I’ll scream bloody murder.”

“Wait! Please, Lena…just hear me out.”

“What…what did you call me?”

“Uh—Lena? It’s a nickname.”

“I know what a nickname is, _Little King_.” His familiar use of the nickname, however, caused her pause. There was something about the way he said it that seemed so intimate, and it puzzled her.

“Right.” He grinned. “Just… Just give me thirty minutes, please, to tell you about an opportunity I have for you, a proposition that could very well change your life forever. Hear me out and I give you my solemn vow that you will never see me again unless you choose to do so.”

“I hear what you have to say and you promise to leave me alone and never return?”

He hesitated for only a second. “I swear it upon my honor.”

There was that word again. Honor. She really did hate that word. Still, Lena had to consider his offer. It would be nice to be rid of him; the Little King had become an annoyance of late.

“You have twenty,” she said, grabbing her pack of Woodbines and heading to the couch. “I’m due back on stage in thirty.”

**Narnia**

Susan and Peter could not fully agree on Lena’s story and decided that Edmund’s opinion must first be considered. And until his thoughts could be formulated, Lena and her daughters were assigned two guards, one for Lena and one for her daughters, to keep watch on their goings around the castle; they were not granted full access but were seen as honored as guests.

Lena’s unease around the Narnians did not abate as easily or as quickly as one might hope. She did find, however, that she could get on well enough with the Talking Beasts, the Wolves, the Birds, the great Cats to a certain extent. But her skin prickled whenever one of the _other_ Narnians was nearby.

Lena had been in Narnia for nearly a week when the party from Archenland returned late in the evening to much pomp and circumstance. Lena managed to avoid King Edmund that first evening and for most of the next day, as did the girls, but she knew that wouldn’t last. And the anticipation of when that meeting would inevitably happen was driving her mad.

About the only positive thing that had come from their week in Narnia was that Lena now looked more like her true self and not Death’s Bride. Color had come back to her skin. The deep, dark circles beneath her eyes filled in. Her muscles remembered their strength and she was able to run, sing, and train again.

In fact, she and Meri were in the training yard running a few drills when the inevitable happened. Bea, the Hound assigned as Lena’s guard, perked her ears up and sniffed the air.

“King Edmund and Nalsa approach.”

“What?! Babbo’s…OW!” Meri exclaimed when Lena rapped her arm.

“Never let your attention stray,” she warned. Then she looked around, hoping to find a way out without running into him. But…

“The only way out is the way in,” Bea said, what Lena feared.

“_Merda_,” she muttered.

“Mamma!”

“That word is not to be repeated, ever,” Lena warned her. Meri rolled her eyes but before Lena could scold her about it, King Edmund and his Wolf arrived.

For a moment there was nothing the three of them could do but stare. He looked exactly the same…almost. He wore his hair the same way. He had the same facial structure, the same physique. Of course, he wasn’t wearing the same shirt and tie combo that Lena loved to peel off of him, but rather he wore the garments more befitting a King of Narnia—incidentally, Lena found she would like to peel that off of him as well. Perhaps the biggest difference, however, was his eyes. They were the same shape, size, and color but…they lacked the love he held for her.

“_Merda_,” Meri whispered. Then she gasped and slapped her hand over her mouth. “Mamma, I’m sorry; I…”

Lena gently placed a hand on Meri’s arm. “Go get your sister from her nap and start her music lesson. I’ll join you shortly.”

Meri looked between Lena and King Edmund. “Mamma, I can stay if you like.”

“*Andrà tutto bene.”

“Are you sure?”

Lena nodded. “Go. *Devo farlo da solo.”

Meri hesitated before throwing her arms around Lena’s neck. “*Ti amo, Mamma.”

“Ti ammo, Topa. Now go, please.”

Meri walked slowly towards King Edmund; the closer she got the slower she walked. Lena knew she was studying his face, looking for any sign of recognition that Lena knew wouldn’t be there. Meri dropped into a sloppy curtsy. He bowed back and stepped aside, allowing her to pass. When she looked back over her shoulder, Lena could see the tear run down her cheek.

**1952, London**

Lena leaned against the wall behind her. She knew it was wrong to listen in on their conversation, but she knew he knew she was listening.

“Today is a very special day, do you know why?” he asked.

“Because you and Mamma are marrying each other?” Meri replied.

“Yes, we are.” Lena could hear the smile in his voice and it made her smile. “But today isn’t just about the two of us; it’s about you as well.”

“I’m not getting married today.”

“No. No, you’re not, hopefully, you won’t for many years yet; your Mamma and I aren’t ready for that. No, today is the day that the three of us officially become a family.”

“You mean four of us. There’s a baby inside Mamma. I heard you talking about it.”

Lena pinched her eyes shut. Meri wasn’t supposed to know about the baby yet; Lena hadn’t figured out how to tell her. Lena would have seized up if Meri had said that to her, but he didn’t miss a beat.

“Yes, there is. You’re very smart, you know.”

“I know.”

He laughed before continuing. “One day, your little sister—”

“—or brother,” Meri corrected him.

“Orrr brother,” he conceded, “will join this family of ours that we start today. How do you feel about that?”

“I don’ know.” Lena could hear Meri’s dress crinkle as she shrugged her shoulders. “How do you feel ‘bout it?”

“Me? Well, it makes me extremely happy.”

“Does it make Mamma happy?”

“I would never presume to speak for your Mamma,” he said quickly. Yes. He definitely knew Lena was listening in. “She has a voice of her own. But I like to think that it makes her extremely happy as well.”

“Then I’m streamly happy!” Meri exclaimed.

“I was really hoping you’d say that. Would you like to know something else that would make me extremely happy?” he asked

Meri nodded rather than verbally responded.

“You only have to do this if you want to, but I’d really like it if you’d call me Babbo.”

“That’s what Caterina calls her Papà! Do…” she gasped. “Do you want to be my Papà?”

Lena could hear the thick emotion in his voice as he responded, and it brought tears to her eyes too. “Very much so, Merina.”

**Narnia**

Lena turned away from King Edmund so he wouldn’t see her own tear escape. Even so, she could feel his eyes watching her as she returned her and Meri’s swords to the hold. By the silence alone Lena knew that Peter and Susan had already told him of who she was—as they’d said they’d do. They thought the news would be more easily received from them. Lena also knew that Susan had told him that she believed her and why. And Lena knew he doubted it anyway.

“It is impolite to stare,” she said, back still facing him.

“It is impolite to presume to know me,” he replied.

There’s wasn’t an apology there. Good. Because Lena wasn’t going to apologize either.

“I don’t presume to know anything,” she said looking over her shoulder at him. He was tense, as was the Wolf with him. Lena knew the improbability of them was weighing heavily on him, and she knew it wouldn’t be resolved in a day…no matter how hard she wished for it.

“You are confronted with a puzzle you cannot work out,” she said as she eyed a row of polearms. “And you think best when you’re not thinking at all.”

An idea came to her. She picked up a simple practice arm. It was lightweight, well balanced; it felt natural in her hand. She picked up another, slightly bigger. This one was heavier; it was a better weight for King Edmund.

“I have a proposition for you,” she said, smiling at the irony. She tossed him the heavier polearm, and he caught it easily. “We duel. Every successful hit you land, you get a question to which I will answer honestly. The game is over when you run out of questions, or when I get five hits.”

“Peter and Susan already told me everything. Why would I need to ask you for more information?”

“Because, for the first time in a long time, you doubt them. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be out here and you wouldn’t have so coldly acknowledged your daughter. So what do you say, Little King? Do we have a duel?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations
> 
> Luna di miele: honeymoon  
Promesso: I promise  
Salaud: pig/swine (French)  
Andrà tutto bene: I’ll be fine  
Devo farlo da solo: I must do this alone  
Ti amo: I love you


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cuore, is Italian for heart, it's what Lena calls Ed. The full Italian phrase would be "cuore mio," "my heart/ heart of mine"

**Chapter 5**

Lena knew she could get King Edmund to agree to a duel. After all, Cuore never passed up the chance.

**1948, London**

Lena walked into the dank and musty room and wrinkled her nose. It smelled of dirty socks and sweat. There were a few flimsy mats lying in a grid pattern on the tiled floor and two chairs. Little King was already there.

“Are you ready for your first lesson?” he asked.

“Wait, you’re training me? But you’re…”

“The best swordsman in Narnia.”

“We’re not in Narnia.”

“That has no relevance.” He shrugged dismissively. “Look, the other handlers all use firearms. They’re loud and hard to conceal. I’m specialized in bladed arms, some of which can be sharp enough to kill and small enough to carry in a handbag.”

“Kill?”

“You won’t be learning anything that extreme. We’re just going to cover some simple defensive techniques. Here, I brought two practice knives of similar shape and size to yours.” He reached in his bag and pulled out the two wooden knives. As he handed Lena one of them, she thought he looked far too excited at the prospect of teaching her how to fight.

**Narnia**

The sound of slapping polearms rang through the training grounds until Lena got her first hit.

“That’s one,” she said, stating the obvious. King Edmund remained silent.

They circled each other twice before beginning again. Wolf and Hound kept watch on the outside. They went slightly longer before Lena taped behind his left thigh.

“Two. It isn’t any fun if you don’t try, Little King.”

King Edmund bristled at bit at the use of the nickname, but he remained silent. They fought much longer the third time before Lena got yet another hit. She sighed heavily. Lena knew he was better than this. They started again and again Lena got the hit.

“If you didn’t want to duel, then you shouldn’t have accepted the challenge. Now you’ve wasted my time and yours, time I could have been spending with our daughters.”

“You are right,” King Edmund said, breaking his silent spell. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have accepted, but…since I did, you’ve only got one more hit left. Let’s finish it. It will satisfy my compulsion to see things through if nothing else.”

Lena gave a short nod of consent. Their duel changed drastically after that. King Edmund’s strikes came harder, faster. He fought more like Cuore, except Cuore never would have held back in the beginning only to show off in the end. Cuore would have trusted Lena to hold her own.

His strike slipped past her defenses, and he gained his first hit.

“All right,” she said, rolling out her shoulder. “As agreed, you can ask me any question and I will answer honestly.”

“Why should I believe you? What proof do you have?”

“That’s two questions; choose one.” Lena gave a small grin.

“What proof do you have that would suggest that anything you say is true?”

“Proof? You mean, other than the simple fact that I’m standing here, in Narnia—a place I never thought, nor ever wanted to see again—or the fact that Sara even exists? I have none. Any ‘proof’ I might offer would have no relevance to you as it has not occurred in your life yet.”

“Answers like that aren’t going to convince me of your identity,” King Edmund said, his temper thinning.

“I didn’t promise conviction, Little King. I promised honesty.”

He bristled at the use of that nickname again, so did his Wolf. “That is thrice now,” she said in a low growl.

“Nalsa,” King Edmund warned. 

“If you do not, my King, then I will.”

Edmund sighed before turning his attention back to Lena. “That is the third time you have called me little king, and my guard takes offense.”

“Because it is offensive,” the Wolf said. “You will address His Majesty by the appropriate title.”

“With all respect,” Lena said a little tightly, “but I will not. I hold true to the promise made to me upon my wedding day that I would never have to bow, grovel, or pledge fealty to a Narnian King again, nor address him as such.”

“And who made you this promise?” King Edmund asked.

“Your brother. Peter swore it upon his honor. No. He swore it upon the High King’s honor, and you backed him on it.”

There was a moment of intense silence, during which Lena thought he’d walk away or have his Wolf attack. She wasn’t sure which was more likely, but she wasn’t backing down either. Then he waved down his Wolf and took up his polearm again. Their duel resumed. It was a true duel too, not a sham like in the beginning, and he quickly got his second hit.

“You’re flustered which makes you easily distracted,” he said.

“That’s a statement, not a question.”

King Edmund was silent a moment as he thought or rather as he studied Lena; he already knew which questions he was going to ask.

“What do you do in the other place, you and…the other me?” He said the last part with reluctance. It wasn’t an admittance of acceptance but of the possibility. It was a start.

“Whatever we like,” Lena replied. “We’re—what’s the word—retired. You do some private contracting for the Crown as you see fit. They keep trying to pull you back in full time, but you refuse. We live off the hefty payments you receive. But mostly you spend time with your family, with me, with the girls. We used to travel, but we haven’t done much of that in the last year.”

“What does he do for the Crown?”

“Ah. That’s another question.” Lena smiled

King Edmund tapped her leg with his polearm playfully. “And that’s a hit. What does he do for the Crown?”

Lena returned his grin with one of her own. “I don’t know; I don’t ask. But, I imagine it’s along the same lines as what we did together when we worked for the Secret Intelligence Service, only there’s less action more reading classified documents.”

The duel resumed. Lena could tell by the twitch in King Edmund’s left cheek that he was beginning to enjoy the duel. Lena may-or may not have let him get his next question.

“How did you meet?”

“Ah…a tricky question. We saw each other once but never spoke directly. Then, a few years later there we were again, in sweet Paris,” Lena said switching to a French accent. “I was singing in a jazz bar. You came to recruit me for the Crown. I said no. You were annoyingly persistent.”

“That sounds about right,” said a voice from off to the side.

“Lady Bea!” Edmund said in shock.

“Keep saying things like that, Lady Hound, and I may begin to acutally like you,” Lena said.

“An equally frightening thought for me as well, Lady Ileana,” the Hound replied.

Lena grnned at the Hound and Edmund watched the exchange with noted curiosity. Then Lena turned back to Edmund. “More?” she asked.

“More,” he agreed.

He was definitely having fun with this now. He even let a few laughs escape and a teasing taunt here and there as their pace quickened. There were a few more hits with more questions and answers, and there were a few near misses, and a few calls that were too close to tell. There was a spark, a light in his eyes that reminded Lena so very much of Cuore. Her grip slipped; his polearm slapping against her hand caused a mighty sting and elicited a few very un-ladylike words. King Edmund cursed too and went over to check on her.

“I am sorry; are you all right?” He took her hand before she could think anything of it. He examined it tenderly with his fingers. “It will leave a welt but nothing’s broken.”

He looked up at her and for a split second she could see Cuore looking back at her, but then he was gone. Lena pulled her hand from King Edmund’s at the same time he dropped it. She walked around him to pick up her polearm and to avoid looking at him.

“I—I’m sorry.” There was a strange tone to his voice she’d never heard before.

“*Sto bene,” she said. “I’m fine. It’s just been a while since I’ve trained this long this hard.”

“You fight well.”

“I was trained well,” Lena replied. “But you have a question.” She put on her best smile as she turned to face him. If he could see through her smile, it didn’t show. Cuore always could, but could King Edmund? He returned her smile with one of his own, and it made her wonder: could she still see through his?

“You’re right, I am owed a question. I best make it a good one then, a final one…for now. Let’s see…well, it’s not exactly a question but it requires honesty all the same. Name a detail about me that’s so intimate only a wife would know.”

“An intimate detail, huh?” Several details concerning her and Cuore’s intimate life came to mind, some of which still made the blood rush to her cheeks. But there was one in particular she thought would work. “All right, I’ve seen your birthmark up close and personal.”

“My sleeve has been torn so many times, everyone has seen my birthmark.”

Lena shook her head and smiled coyly. “I’m not talking about the tiny spot on your elbow. I’m talking about the larger one that’s shaped like the island of Sicily located on the inner curve of your right thigh, right by your…”

“Ehem,” he coughed, his cheeks slightly red. “Yes, I get the picture.”

Lena didn’t realize how close they’d suddenly gotten again until King Edmund stepped back. _Who had approached whom?_ She wondered.

“Still, any former lover could have betrayed my trust and told you that,” he said.

_Ouch!_ Lena flinched but tried to conceal it. “Yes,” she said coldly. “I am aware that I wasn’t your first, and you clearly weren’t mine.” She wanted to throw his gut-punch back harder, but she restrained herself. “A detail only a wife—only _your_ wife would know…”

What could she possibly tell King Edmund that would have any significance to him? Lena was at a loss.

“That’s what I thought,” he said, the cold unfamiliarity seeping back in. “I am, truly, sorry about the hand. You should have Willa, the Dryad in the Healer’s tower, look at it just to be sure. In the meantime, Lady Ileana, do not presume to be so familiar with me again.” With that, he turned on his heel and began walking away.

“I know the truth about Jadis and the hillside!” Lena shouted in desperation.

“What was that?” he asked, pausing and looking over his shoulder. Bea and Nalsa stirred, their ears twitching.

“I—I know the truth about Jadis, the White Witch she was called.”

“Yeah, I know who she was,” he said heatedly. “What do you know about her?”

“I know what happened with her. I know what you did. I know why you did it, why you _really_ did it. I know what it cost you to repent. And I… I know what Aslan said to you on that hillside when you came back.”

“That’s…that’s not possible,” he denied simply. “I’ve never told anyone that.”

“But you told me, or rather…you will tell me.”

“How? Why? Did you force it out of me? How do I know you’re not lying now?” He was getting quite angry now, and his distrust brought the prick of tears to Lena’s eyes.

“I do not detect dishonesty, your Majesty,” Bea said, stepping forward.

“Nor I, my King,” Nalsa added.

“I can prove it,” Lena said, wiping away a tear. “I can repeat it if you want me to.”

“No!” He looked quickly over his shoulders at the Narnians. “Stand back, both of you,” he ordered.

“My King, it isn’t right to…”

“Stand back, Nalsa. That is a direct order, and do not listen in.”

Even still, the Narnians were hesitant to leave.

“Whisper it to me, softly,” he said once they were well enough away. And so she did. He stumbled away from her and the Wolf and Hound rushed with snarling growls thinking she had attacked. King Edmund stopped them quickly with a hand.

“How? Why?” he asked again.

“Oh, well, uh…” She did not think this revelation would generate this type of reaction. “It was a very…intense night,” she began delicately. “It involved a bottle of bourbon—the good stuff not the brown water we’d had before—and lots of yelling and shouting, mostly on my part; you hardly ever shout. It didn’t take much in those early days for us to fight; we were volatile. Correction, _I_ was volatile.”

“I could see that,” King Edmund said coolly.

Lena bit back her tears. “See, what…You have to understand something about me first.” She paused to get her thoughts and emotions in check; this was going to dredge up some painful memories she realized.

“I...I wasn’t the _best_ person when you met me. I’d cozy up to random guys in the alley behind the bar, take small trinkets from them, and sell them off later. I was a girl of limited means, uneducated except in the ways of men. I knew how to get what I wanted without giving them what _they_ wanted. And I was good, oh I was very good.

“Our job was to get information which we always did, but you didn’t always approve of my methods. We often fought about it. Somehow, that night, the fight turned to Meri, and I…” Tears pricked at the corners of Lena’s eyes that she couldn’t fight off. “I remember shouting the words ‘_she’s my daughter.’_ It… it was the first time I’d said them aloud. You were the first person I told because up until then I claimed she was my sister because…because I was ashamed. Ashamed of what I was, ashamed of what I’d done.

“But mostly I…I was ashamed of her,” Lena confessed. “And that…that was the hardest thing I’d ever done. She was my greatest hope, my biggest joy…and my worst shame. So you…you shared yours. You told me about Jadis and the hillside to…relate to me, to make me see I wasn’t alone, to be free of it yourself? I don’t really know why, but you did. The…the dynamic changed between us that night. I certainly didn’t love you yet, but I…I hated you a little less.”

Lena paused and studied his face. She searched for any sign, any whisper, anything that might indicate that something had struck a bell with him, that somehow the memories she shared had transferred to him and that they were now his memories too. But there was only a blank emptiness in his eyes as he looked back at her.

“And now…here we stand. My husband of six years but I’m nothing more than a stranger in your eyes.” Lena stepped away from him this time. “You’re…you’re not him. You are not Cuore; you’re not my husband here. I’m sorry to have wasted your time.”

Lena fled the training ground in a haze of tears she tried to restrain. Who was the scemo più scemo now? She knew he wouldn’t know her. Peter and Susan didn’t, so why should he? And yet, some small part of her held on to the hope that their love was different, that their love was so transcending that his heart would know hers anywhere.

But it wasn’t and it didn’t. Lena was nothing more than a stranger to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations
> 
> Sto bene: I'm fine


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

**1951, Somewhere in Ukraine**

Lena awoke the events of the last twelve hours a hazy blur. The bruises on her arms where he had pinned her down were the first things she saw, the dress he ripped now lying on the floor was the second. She pushed herself up in bed only to feel another bruise on the back of her shoulder from where he had slammed her into the wall. If she looked hard enough, she could still see the blood on her hands from where she shoved the knife in his neck to return the favor.

Then after the terror came a euphoric bliss she’d never felt before. Lena could still remember the look in Little King’s eye as he reached his own bliss. She could remember the feel of his lips on her skin and the way he felt moving inside her, not so little after all.

But where was Little King now? The space in the bed beside her was empty and they’d only gotten the one room. The door to the toilet was open, so he wasn’t in there either. A sudden, gripping fear took hold of her. They’d been found! They came for him and left her in a foreign country alone! He was already dead!

The air was escaping her. She couldn’t breathe. She was going to die too. She’d never see Meri again. Never get to hear her laugh, never get to dry her tears, never earn the title of Mamma.

Suddenly there was the scrapping of metal on metal as someone tried to unlock the door. They were coming for her! She decided she wasn’t going to make it easy for them. Lena wrapped herself in the sheets and looked around for a weapon. She saw the bloody murder knife she’d used.

_Wait. That can’t be right, _she thought.

Lena blinked. It wasn’t the same knife. It was much smaller, less bloody. It was one of Little King’s throwing knives. She grabbed it and threw it at the head that appeared behind the door. It landed with a thud in the door frame behind him; he’d ducked just in time. She grabbed another and prepared to throw.

“Wait! Ileana, it’s me!” he poked his head around the door. One hand was raised in surrender, the other was clutching his ribs.

“Edmund!”

He stepped into the room slowly, locking the door back behind him. Lena saw he was carrying a bag. It took a little effort, but he pulled the knife from the wall on his way in.

“That was a good throw,” he said with a smile.

“You’re alive!” 

He paused, his expression turning grave. “Thanks to you.”

The weight of words left unspoken hung in the air. Lena flashed back to the look in his eye as he told her to run before launching himself at the Polkovnik. She shook the image out of her head.

He moved slowly towards the bed and dropped the bag on it; every step clearly sent a shockwave of pain through him. “I bought us some clothes, though, I do like that dress your wearing.” He smirked cheekily over his shoulder. Lena knew he was trying to lighten the mood, to put her at ease; it would take more than that to pull her off the edge, however. “And I…_acquired_ us a new car. We shouldn’t stay here long.”

“You should have woken me,” she said softly.

“I was going to, but you looked so...” he turned serious again. “At peace. I didn’t want to take that away from you again.”

Lena let his words sink in a moment before moving towards the bed.

“_Merda_!” he whispered as he tenderly fingered one of the bruises on her arms. Then he saw the one on her back and cursed more fervently. “I’m so sorry, Lena. I never should have let him touch you. It was a stupid mission.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Her voice was less than a whisper.

“It does matter, Lena.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

“Yes…”

“He’s dead!” She shouted suddenly. “I killed him and now he’s dead. So it…it doesn’t matter.” Her voice faded to a whisper again. The air was thick between them. She grabbed her new clothes in a hurry and made for the toilet room.

“The first one is always the hardest,” he said making her halt in her tracks as tears threatened to spill forth at the mere thought. “I wish I could tell you otherwise, but the first one has a way of sticking with you. It’s been years since mine, and I can still remember the look in the Fox’s eye.”

“That’s the thing though, I’m not so sure he was my first kill. How many times has the intel we provided led to the demise of another?” Lena turned and looked back at him waiting for an answer but receiving none. “I thought my life would be different here, better, but I have just traded one cruel captor for another. I…I can’t do this anymore. I can’t…I…” She began to cry hopelessly as the emotions and adrenaline caught up to her.

He came to her as quickly as he could and took her in his arms. “No. No, you won’t have to. Promesso. Never again.”

Lena couldn’t say who kissed whom first that time, but her dress of sheets fell to the floor before his new clothes joined them.

**Narnia**

After fleeing the training grounds, Lena found some quiet corner of the castle to sit down and have a good cry. Since arriving, the only thing she’s wanted to do was go home, to see Cuore’s face again, to feel his breath on her skin as he whispered _‘*Ti amo, luce mia.’_ Now, a terrible thought occurred to her for the first time.

What if there was no going back? What if it was already too late? She’d never see Cuore again, never hear him whisper those words, never get to tell him how much he meant to her or how he saved her life.

Someone sat down beside her and held out a kerchief. “You look like you could use this, Lena.”

The voice, so gentle and friendly, was a welcome relief. “Oh! *Grazie a Dio sei tu, Lu.” Lena looked over into the warm, smiling eyes of Lucy Pevensie, one of her dearest friends, and saw the same unfamiliarity in them as in all the others. She leaned her head back against the wall as a fresh wave of tears threatened to spill.

“I’m sorry; you don’t know me,” she said.

“I really wish I did,” Lucy replied. “I can’t imagine how difficult this must be for you.”

“But you…you called me Lena though.”

“Is that not right?” Her eyes grew wide with worry that she’d said something wrong.

“No. No, it’s perfect. You all call me that there, but here, so far, everyone’s only called me Ileana.”

“Oh! Good! I wasn’t sure, but I thought you would appreciate something a little more personal and friendly. Because the way I figure it, if you’re married to my brother then you and I _must_ be friends back there; you would need someone to complain to when Ed’s being a dollophead.”

The sudden laughter was a nice change from the crying Lena had been doing. “Oh, Lu, I have missed your colorful digs at your brother. And you’re right; you and I are very good friends there. Though, your brother swears up and down that I’m a bad influence on you.”

Lucy snorted in laughter and reached to her side, where she pulled out two cups and a clay jar. “That just shows how little he knows. Would you like a drink?”

“Is that the Dwarven Ale?”

“No. It’s Faunish Wine. Care to try?”

“Please,” Lena said enthusiastically. Lucy, equally enthusiastic, poured them each a cup. “Hmm, it reminds me of this red we like from Tuscany, with a hint of…something I can’t place.”

“That would probably be the Ash and Maple; they had a very big season this year. So, shall we toast to the beginning of a wonderful friendship?”

“To a wonderful friendship,” Lena repeated, knocking her cup against Lucy’s. They sat and talked for a few minutes before Lucy asked about Meri and Sara.

“I would very much like to hear about my nieces.”

“Why just hear about them when you can meet them?”

“Even better!” Lucy jumped to her feet with the spryness of a teenager. Then she helped Lena to hers. “Do you know where they are?”

“Meri is giving Sara her music lesson, but I… I’m not sure of our location in relation to theirs.”

“Friends Todrick and Bea, can you help us find the girls please?”

“With pleasure, Queen Lucy,” the Fox and Hound replied together.

Along the way, Lucy asked Lena all sorts of questions concerning the girls. _“What do they call me? What do I call them? What’s our favorite thing to do together? How often do we see each other?”_ When they finally found the girls, on the other side of the castle, Meri was singing in harmony with Sara.

“Oh! Brava! Brava!” Lucy exclaimed while clapping merrily.

“Lulu!” Sara screeched.

“Hello, my little darling!” Lucy replied sweeping Sara into her arms with familiar ease.

Meri turned to Lena in confusion. _‘Did she know?’_ her eyes were asking. Lena shook her head. That was just the way Lucy had always been.

**1951, London**

“I don’t know about this, Ed. Perhaps we should wait.”

“It’s Christmas, Lena; there isn’t a better time than now,” he replied.

“Caterina says Christmas is the time to be with the people who mean the most to you,” Meri chimed. “Unless you can spend it in New York.”

“I know, Topa,” Lena smiled. “Which is all the more reason why you and I shouldn’t impose ourselves on Ed’s family.”

“What’s impose mean?”

“It means to be a burden or a problem to someone,” Edmund answered. “And you won’t be an imposition, Lena. Peter and the girls, especially the girls, are excited to meet you. And Susan has planned this dinner meticulously…”

“What’s metic—metic—what does that word mean?” Meri tried to ask.

“…to cancel now would be considered the imposition,” Edmund continued.

“What does that metic—ly word mean?” Meri asked again.

“It means very well planned, almost to the point of obsession; every excruciating detail thought out and accounted for,” Edmund answered.

“Well, you’re making this dinner sound more exciting by the minute,” Lena said dully.

Edmund leaned into her, one arm sliding across the back of the seat behind her while the other went to her knee. He whispered in her ear, in French.

“If you want excitement, then I say we leave Meri at my sister’s after an hour, or so. Then you and I head back to my place where I’ll show you a jolly happy Christmas.” His hand slowly began to slide up Lena’s thigh sending a spark of heat with it; Lena pulled her lip between her teeth and closed her eyes as she relished the feel.

The taxi came to a sudden stop.

“Oh! We’re here!” Edmund said with excitement, his hand jumping off her leg.

Meri and Lena crawled out of the car while Edmund paid the driver. Lena crouched down before Meri on the sidewalk and nervously straightened her dress and coat. Every inch of Lena’s skin felt like it had something crawling on it, or was on fire, or both. Her fears and doubts were telling her to flee, to take Meri and run back to Sicily, or maybe fly to New York with Caterina.

Lena never thought she’d be in the position she was, not again. She never thought that she’d be sleeping with another Narnian King, or that she’d enjoy it as much as she did. Things with Edmund, however, felt different somehow; he made her feel different. She didn’t know what it was, but she didn’t want it to end and she was terrified that it would. People like her didn’t deserve people like him.

Suddenly the door to the brownstone opened and three figures stepped out on the stoop. In the center stood a tall, fair-skinned and fair-haired man. His sisters flanked him; one had dark hair and the other light, both were radiantly beautiful. The light from inside cast a warm golden glow around them. The youngest of the three ran down the steps and threw her arms around Lena’s neck.

“Lena! You’re here! I’m so glad you could make it! Ed’s told us so much about you!”

“Whoa! Easy, Lu. You don’t want to run her off, do you?” Edmund said, coming to Lena’s rescue, his hand sliding around her waist.

Edmund’s sister rolled her eyes. “I’m Lucy, you can call me Lu. I just know we’re going to be great friends! After all, you’re going to need someone to complain to when my brother’s being a turniphead.”

Lena smiled while Lucy turned her attention to Meri.

“Well, hello little darling. What’s your name?”

“Merina Maria of the house Caterina. But you can call me Meri. Are we going to be friends too?”

“Oh, I certainly hope so,” Lucy replied before taking her hand and leading her up the walkway. 

**Narnia**

Meri turned back to Lucy and smiled before walking over to hug her neck. “Aunt Lulu; it’s so great to see you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations
> 
> Ti amo, luce mia: I love you, my light  
Grazie a Dio sei tu, Lu: Thank God it’s you, Lu


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Edmund stood in front of the large window in his Brother’s council room, staring out at the vast ocean. He needed space and time to think. Behind him, his siblings discussed Ileana and her daughters.

Susan believed Ileana because of her dreams. (Her dreams were another issue entirely that Edmund didn’t currently have the mental capacity to deal with, and how could she have possibly kept something like that from them?!) Lucy believed Ileana because Lucy’s…well, Lucy: ready and willing to trust anything that moves. And yet she’s a great judge of character; her assessments were never wrong and therefore must be considered with high regard. Peter remained skeptical, but that was mostly for Edmund’s sake.

What did Edmund think? Well, he was torn, especially after the episode at dinner.

**Two hours earlier**

After their duel, Edmund couldn’t shake the last image of Ileana from his mind. The broken-hearted look in her eyes when he didn’t return her affections crushed him, more than it should have and he couldn’t understand why. He thought perhaps it would be best to try and avoid her, for her sake not his, so that she wouldn’t have to feel such pain again not so that he wouldn’t have to see it.

He did pretty well the first hour, Nalsa warned him when she was approaching and he was able to duck around the corner or enter another room. Then his Sister called him to dinner and he couldn’t refuse. He told himself it wouldn’t be that bad. He didn’t have to look at her; they wouldn’t have to talk. But he forgot one very important thing.

Ileana wasn’t alone.

“Babbo!” a tiny girl screeched before running across the marbled floor towards him. Her hair was the exact same shade as his but she had her mother’s curls. Her smile reminded him of Lucy’s, and her eyes were a deep chocolate brown. She stopped just before reaching him. Her smile faded and those chocolate eyes stared at him in confusion.

“Er—” What was he supposed to do? “Hi…there.”

Her eyes clouded with tears and her bottom lip began to tremble.

“Sarina? Topa, what’s wrong?” Ileana asked, crouching beside her.

“Where’s Babbo?” the girl asked turning to her mother. Ileana’s eyes flashed up to Edmund for the briefest of moments. “Where’s Babbo? I want Babbo!”

And then the girl began to cry, wailing at the top of her lungs. Ileana quickly scooped her up in her arms and rocked her back and forth while trying to soothe her. It didn’t work.

“Babbo! Babbo! I wan’ Babbo!” she cried as Ileana carried her out of the dining hall. Edmund could still hear her screams as he approached the now silent table.

“What’s a bob-oh?” he asked.

“Daddy.”

Edmund swore under his breath. He didn’t see the other daughter standing with Lucy. Her eyes, he noticed, matched Ileana’s perfectly but her hair was two shades darker and had none of the curl.

“It means ‘Daddy,’” she said again. “It’s what we call…our Papà. It’s what he wanted us to call him.”

“Oh,” was all Edmund could say.

“Sara’s his little princess,” she continued. “We both are. Mamma doesn’t like it when he calls us that, but Babbo says _‘I am a King and they my daughters, by all rights and prescriptions they are Princesses.’_”

She paused and looked at him, tears filling her eyes; that made him three for three. Lucy wrapped an arm around her.

“I’m sorry, but I… I think I should go see to Mamma and Sara. Might I be excused, Unc…I mean King Peter?”

Peter fumbled over his words uncharacteristically before consenting; he must have been as thrown as Edmund was.

**Present time**

“Ed? Ed, what do you think?” Peter asked.

What _did_ he think? He didn’t _want_ to think. He didn’t want to think about Ileana or her daughters or what she knew. How could she have known?

_“I’m not talking about the tiny spot on your elbow.” Her eyes glimmered with playful ease. “I’m talking about the larger one…by your…”_

_ “Any former lover could have betrayed my trust.”_

Former lover? That was a lie. He could count the number of girls he’d kissed on one hand, and none of them had ever been so intimate. He wasn’t against the notion; he was just waiting for…something more, something that felt right. So how could she have known? 

Ugh. He really didn’t want to think about it; it was giving him a headache, but there was something else, something so glaringly obvious he couldn’t ignore. How could she have known?

“Ed,” Peter called to him again, this time in his High King voice. Edmund turned from the window. “What’s your assessment of the Lady Ileana?”

“I… believe her,” Edmund said with a sigh.

“See! There… Wait! What?”

“I believe her,” Edmund said again. Lucy looked gleefully triumphant, Susan a little less so, but Peter looked bewildered.

“Of the four of us, I have the most reason to be doubtful. But...I believe her. I don’t want to, but I have to. She knows things she shouldn’t.”

“What sort of things?” Peter asked.

“Personal things that only I know.”

“How personal?”

Edmund eyed Peter pointedly. “Intimately so.”

“Oh.” Peter’s eyebrow rose.

“It’s not just that, though,” Edmund carried on. “If that’s all it was I’d say she’s using some perverse looking glass or something. But, she…she knows about the Hillside. She knows what Aslan said to me.”

“But you’ve never…”

“I’ve never told anyone, I know. And I never intended to tell anyone. What He said was between me and Him. But He… He did tell me that one day I…that one day I might share it…with the one who shared my heart. Which is why…I don’t understand how, but I believe her.”

“Oh, Ed.” Lucy sighed looking less triumphant. “We couldn’t possibly know or understand all the reasons Aslan does what He does. We simply must trust He has a purpose and a will behind it.”

“I know, Lu. But that begs the issue, that if it is His will that brought her here, then it is not up to Us to send her home.”

“How do we tell her that?” Susan asked. “All she wants is to go back. I do not think that she will accept that she must simply wait for her purpose to be filled before she can leave.”

“Let me speak to her. I think she will take it better from me,” Lucy said.

**XXX**

It was a thoroughly exhausting day for Lena. Her training with Meri had been tiring. The duel with Edmund was draining, both physically and emotionally. Her time with Lucy and the girls in the music room was refreshing, but then dinner came and it took an hour to calm Sara down; she was most decidedly Babbo’s bambina.

Sara had just fallen asleep when Prima, the Leopard assigned as Lena’s night guard, pushed her way through the door. She padded over and met Lena in the middle of the room. “Queen Lucy is here to see you, Lady Ileana. Will you take her here or in your own quarters?”

Lena looked back at Sara. She was tucked snugly in her bed, her cloth doll embraced tightly to her chest, and she was fast asleep. With any luck, she’d stay that way through the night. Still, Lena didn’t want to test it.

“My quarters, please,” she whispered turning back to the Leopard. They walked across the hall together where Lucy was already waiting for her.

“I hope you don’t mind me letting myself in,” Lucy said.

“Of course not, Lu. You’re always welcome at ou—here,” Lena finished quickly covering her near slip. “I’d offer you some wine, but I have none nor ale I’m afraid. No, gin,” Lena corrected. “A day like today requires gin, or a smoke, or a damn good shag. But I guess all three of those are out.”

“I didn’t know you smoked; I’m sure we could find a Dwarf’s pipe.” Lucy said.

Lena shrugged. “It’s an old habbit. I haven’t had one since Sara was born. Ed never really liked it and… he’s always been inclined to help with one of the other options.”

Lucy pinched her face in disapproval. “I love my brother, dearly, but there are some things, like that, that I don’t need to know.”

Lena smiled. “Yes, you prefer to hear about the times he’s being an arse not about the times I’ve seen his—”

“How’s Sara doing?” Lucy cut across Lena, a playful gleam in one eye and queenly authority in the other. Lena knew not to push the matter, nor could she at the mention of her youngest.

“She’s…” Lena sighed. “I’ll be honest with you, Lu. She’s confused. She sees a man with Babbo’s face and she hears Babbo’s voice when he speaks, but she senses there’s something different about him, something that makes him not be Babbo anymore. She doesn’t know what to make of it; none of us do really.”

“He doesn’t mean to make things difficult for any of you.”

“I know. He’s never cruel for the sake of being cruel; it’s not his nature. But no matter how much he denies it, there is something real between us or… at least there will be.”

“He…he doesn’t deny it though.”

“What?”

“He believes, as we all do, that you and your daughters are from that other place and that we are family there. He believes you are his wife.”

There was nothing Lena could do but sit on the bench at the foot of her bed as all the air rushed from her lungs. He believed. Lena was certain that after their duel, King Edmund would never believe her. But he believed. For one fleeting moment Lena was happy, hopeful but then what Lucy didn’t say settled in.

“He believes…but he doesn’t feel. Otherwise, it would be he who came to me, not you,” Lena said in despair, tears forming at the corner of her eyes. Lucy smiled sympathetically; she couldn’t deny it. “So this is how it feels when your husband of six years no longer loves you.”

“That’s not true!” Lucy said, rushing to sit next to Lena and taking her hand. “Your husband, Ed, loves you very much; of that I am certain. But my Brother, King Edmund, doesn’t know you well enough to love you yet.”

_Nor shall he,_ Lena thought. She’d learned early in life, that if she locked away her heart then it couldn’t be hurt. That’s how she survived the years before Cuore. She pulled her hand from Lucy’s and walked away.

“Is that all you came to tell me, Lucy or has there been any progress made in returning me and my daughters to our time?” Her words were cold and brusque, eliciting a low growl from Prima.

“It’s all right, Prima. Lady Ileana is tried and upset. I am certain she meant no disrespect.” Lucy, on the other hand, was the picture of poise and grace at the moment. Lena didn’t want to say anything, but out of respect for the friendship that she had with Queen Lucy’s counterpart in the other world, she did.

“Of course not, Lu. I am just anxious and ready to return home.”

“I do not think it will be as easy as you hoped it would be.”

“Certainly not, or I’d already be gone.” There was another growl. “I’m sorry; please continue.”

“If it were up to Us, Lena, then We would do everything in Our power to return you. But it’s not up to Us. You are here by the Will of Aslan, and only by His will can you return.”

“So what? Am I supposed to just sit here and wait and hope He hasn’t forgotten about me?”

“He forgets nothing, but forgives everything,” Lucy said poetically, then she moved towards Lena once more. “We are sending word to Mr. Tumnus; he was the first to find me when I entered. If anyone knows anything about the other place, it would be him. And I… I know I am not the sister you know there, but it is my wish that we can still be friends.”

The thing about locking away your heart that Lena had not yet learned, was that once the key had been given to another then they could unlock it anytime they wished. Lena swiped at her tears and nodded her head.

**1958, London**

Lucy walked into the small room and found her brother holding one of Lena’s frail hands between both of his, lips pressed to it, and head bowed in prayer. Lucy softly walked over to him and placed her hand on his shoulder as she joined him. After a few moments, Lucy felt his muscles flex as he lifted his head and placed a hand over hers in gratitude.

“How is she?” Lucy asked, pulling up a chair to sit next to him.

Edmund shook his head. “There hasn’t been any significant change. She woke, maybe an hour ago, for just a minute but she’s been sleeping ever since. The drugs help with that I guess.”

Lucy rubbed the back of his shoulders.

“I keep thinking about those early days when she first arrived,” he continued. “I was so cold to her; I tried to avoid her at all costs.”

“I’m sure she repaid that coldness ten-fold when you found her again.”

He half chuckled. “Twenty-fold is more like it.” Then he wiped at his eyes.

“She never blamed you for it, you know. She knew it wasn’t the same you; it wasn’t her Core-yay.”

Edmund smiled. “Cuore,” he corrected.

“Core-ay.”

“Quaw-ahy.”

“Cu…Oh! I’ll never be as good at speaking Italian as you are.”

“But you’ll enjoy their wines well enough.”

“Oh, yes! I have no problems with that.” She laughed in a rare moment of light-heartedness. Edmund smiled too, but his smile quickly faded.

“How are the girls?” he asked.

“Sleeping. Susan is with them now. They are dreaming of faraway lands with castles that gleam on the sea-side, of the Kings and Queens that rule there, and of marvelous Beasts that can talk.” Lucy studied her brother’s face as she spoke. His eyes were bloodshot with dark circles beneath them. She frowned. “When is the last time you slept, Ed?”

Edmund shook his head. “I can’t. I’ve tried, but just when I begin to drift off I have a dream in which Lena wakes up and she needs me but I’m not there, and I… I can’t leave her.”

Edmund swallowed the lump in his throat while Lucy sniffled. “Please, Lu, don’t start crying because then I’ll start again.”

“Oh, I’m s-sorry, Ed.” Lucy quickly wiped her eyes and rubbed her nose on the sleeve of her arm. 

“Sue would throw a fit if she saw you doing that.”

“Well, I won’t tell if you don’t,” Lucy said as Edmund did the same thing.

For a while, all that could be heard was the sniffling of tears, the wiping of noses, and the droning of machines. When Edmund spoke again, his voice was hoarse and dry.

“When the girls wake, Lu… will you send them in, please? They’ll…they’ll want to be here when…” The lump was suddenly back in his throat; he pushed it down.

“Even Sara?”

“Sara…” he swallowed and bit the inside of his cheek. “Sara may be too young to fully understand what’s happening, but I won’t take the moment from her. And…I’ll want to see her again.”

“Not as much, I think, as she’ll want to see you.”

Edmund smiled lightly.

“I’ll bring them to you,” Lucy continued, standing up to leave. “And, Ed, We’re here for you. If you need anything, We’re here.”

“What I need, Lu…you can’t give.” His voice quivered as he lost the fight.

“I may not be able to,” Lucy had to wipe at her own tears again. “But He can.” She kissed the top of her brother’s head. She stayed there a moment, cradling his head, her tears mingling with his hair, before pulling back.

“Lucy, wait... Will you…will you stay a bit longer…and pray with me some more?”

“Of course, Brother.” Lucy reclaimed the empty chair next to him. Then she clasped his hand tightly in hers, leaned into his side, and led them in prayer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end of this chapter always hits me so hard, I almost hate to post it. 
> 
> ...
> 
> But alas...


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...wow... this is a long chapter. I added some, then cut some, then added it back, then considered breaking it into two separate chapters before finally leaving it as one massive chapter. Hope you don't mind. :)

**Chapter 8**

**Narnia**

Edmund left at first light with only Nalsa and a small guard accompanying him. For though he believed Ileana to be telling the truth, he was not ready to face what that truth meant. The sooner they could find a way for the girls to return home—_if_ they could find a way for them to return—the better it would be for everyone. The only thought he or his Siblings had in returning Ileana and her daughters, was to send them back the way he and his siblings had come. He needed the aid of Mr. Tumnus for that.

It was a five-day ride to Tumnus’ den near Lantern Waste. There was little Edmund loved more, though, than camping out under the Narnian stars; he was entrusted to the Great Western Wood, after all and he took that to heart. Still, he was rather glad to reach Tumnus at last. After a brief luncheon, during which Edmund filled the Faun in on all the details of the arrival of Ileana and her daughters, Tumnus led Edmund back to where he first found Lucy.

“This is it?” Edmund asked, looking up at a strange iron tree upon which sat a flaming light.

Mr. Tumnus nodded. “You once called it a lantern.”

“Hence the name, Lantern Waste. Yes, I remember that now.” Edmund ran his hand around the pole, now covered in vines and foliage, as distant memories seemed to play through his mind. “There was a war. We had to leave our home. And there was a large country estate, and…”

Edmund stopped his thoughts abruptly. This was counter-productive. He wasn’t here to remember; he was here to find a way to return Ileana and her daughters to the world from which they came.

“Which way did Lucy come from? Do you remember?”

“I do indeed, very well. It was this way, not far.” Tumnus directed Edmund to the thicket beyond the lantern. “King Edmund, do be careful. I would not like to be the one to tell The High King or your Sister Queens of your disappearance.”

Edmund smiled lazily. “Nor do I wish to disappear. I will simply look for the door, but not step through it.”

Edmund slowly began picking his way through the thicket; it was not easy going and the Narnians with him were not suited for the task either so he went alone. He was careful to keep a line of sight on them however and open communication between them when that sight failed. After nearly twenty minutes of trying, he finally broke through into a densely shaded wood but there was no door nor any sign that there had once been a door.

Edmund felt His presence behind him so suddenly there was no time to prepare, such was the way of the Great Lion. Edmund swiftly turned and dropped to the ground laying his sword over one knee and bowing his head.

“Aslan,” he whispered in reverence.

“Arise, my Chosen,” the Lion replied. Edmund obeyed. “Why did you come here?”

Edmund knew the Lion already knew the answer, but he responded anyway. “I came looking for a way to send Ileana and her daughters home.”

“It is not yet time for them to leave.”

“So you do have a plan for them here? Any chance you care to share that plan with Us?”

The Lion smiled but did not answer.

“Yeah, I didn’t think so.” Edmund sighed wearily.

“Why are you troubled, my King?”

“Why? Because I have a wife and two daughters I do not know.”

“And how can you begin to know them when you are here and they are at Cair Paravel?”

“And, what if I am uncertain in my desire to know them?”

There was a low rumbling growl that Edmund felt throughout his entire body; again, he dropped to one knee. “Forgive me, Aslan. I do not mean to question Your judgment.”

The Great Lion stepped forward and nuzzled his nose against Edmund’s cheek. Edmund reached up to curl his hands in the Lion’s mane.

“You must be brave, my King and patient, for she will try them. Trust in the plans I have for the both of you.”

“I will, Aslan. I will trust in You always.”

**XXX**

It was another five-day ride for Edmund to return to Cair Paravel. He knew in order to keep his promise to Aslan, he had to find a way to forge a co-existence with Ileana and her—_his_ –**_their_** daughters. He thought it would be easiest to start with the oldest daughter as she could help with the youngest and the relations his future self would have with Ileana were far too intimate to tackle now. He found Meri one morning in the music room alone. Her fingers were dancing across the harpsichord, striking with delicate ease tunes and chords he’d not heard before. He could do little more than stand in awe until she was finished.

“That was beautiful,” he praised with a clap. It was clear by her wide-eyed look and jump that she hadn’t known he was there. “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“It’s…it’s all right… your Majesty. It wouldn’t have mattered if you came in with a full army. I’m so engrossed in my music when I play that the world could be burning around me and I’d have no idea. Mamma says I need to pay more attention to my surroundings, but I believe music should be felt as much as it is heard. And how can I make others feel when I do not?”

“I think I would have to agree with you,” Edmund said. “However, there is a certain logic…”

“…to my mother’s words. That if I were to see their emotion, then I could expand on it, manipulate it to my own satisfaction,” she finished for him. “We’ve had this conversation before.”

“I see. Well then, it must be exceptional advice if I’m so inclined to give it twice.” Meri ducked her head in a poor attempt to hide her smile. “Who was that composer? I don’t recognize the piece.”

“You wouldn’t. It’s one of my own,” she said.

Now Edmund was truly surprised. “That is quite remarkable.”

“Thank you…your Majesty.”

Edmund moved in closer while Meri kept her head down. Her fingers were trailing lightly over the keys once more. Edmund felt music was the way in, but he wasn’t quite sure how.

“Did your mother teach you how to play?”

Meri laughed loudly and abundantly. “I’m sorry, Sir. But if you knew Mamma the way Babbo does, then you too would see the humor in that question. As beautiful as Mamma is on stage and as easily as she captivates and enslaves her audience with her voice, she cannot play an instrument for anything. Her fingers are too short for the piano. She hasn’t the lips for the flute. Neither can she sustain the embouchure for any of the brass instruments.”

“I just assumed, you play so well. Surely she found you an instructor then.”

“No…not exactly anyway.” Meri almost seemed to hesitate before elaborating. “The flute, clarinet, and lyre I taught myself. Mamma taught me voice, but… it was Babbo who introduced me to the piano.”

And there it was: his way in, but perhaps not the way he was hoping for. It had been years since he last played for the Narnians.

“May I?” he asked, pointing to the bench she sat on.

“Yes, of course.” Meri stepped aside, allowing him access to the keys. It was slow going at first, and the tempo remained unsteady as his fingers struggled to find the correct notes, but he doled out an old familiar tune. Or part of it at least; he couldn’t bear to make her suffer the whole thing.

“That was…”

“Horrible? Atrocious? Unbearable? And painful to listen to? You can say it, truly. You won’t offend me.”

“I was going to be a bit nicer about it. I’m not as blunt as Mamma can be.”

Edmund smiled. “It appears I’m a bit rusty. I shall have to resume my practices if I’m to teach you one day.”

“To be perfectly honest, if I may?”

“By all means.”

“You were never really that good.” His mouth opened in shock. “But! You taught me the basics and your constant encouragement pushed me to succeed.”

“Well then, in that I shall not falter.” He smiled up at her. “Is there anything else I have encouraged or instructed you in?”

“Dueling, or fencing with a twist as you call there.”

“Ah. Now that is something I am not rusty in. Would you like to go a few rounds?”

Meri bit her lip. “Maybe. There…there’s something else I’d like to try; I haven’t been able to do much of it there, well any of it actually.”

“Name it. If it is within my abilities and it’s not too dangerous, we will see it done.”

“I’d like to learn how to ride a horse.”

“Alas, at that I’m not so great at teaching.” Meri’s face fell; Edmund rushed to correct it. “But, I know the perfect instructor. How would you like to meet my friend and my Horse, Philip?”

Meri’s face was ablaze with excitement. “The talking Horse?! But I thought it wasn’t proper to ride a talking Horse?”

“Ah,” Edmund stood. “It’s not, but Philip is the exception. And who better to teach how to ride a horse than a Horse? Are you in?”

“Yes, please! And thank you… your Majesty.”

“Let’s drop that, shall we? Call me Edmund.” 

**1952, London**

Edmund followed the nurse down the hall. His heart was pumping, blood racing, hands shaking. _Couldn’t she walk faster?_ Edmund thought irritably.

“Here you go, Mr. Pevensie.”

At last, the nurse stopped at a door and stepped aside. Lena was already in the room. She was sitting up in the bed, hair wild with bits of it sticking to her face, and a tiny bundle wrapped in her arms. Edmund’s throat ran dry as he approached the chasm between them. Wordlessly, Lena looked up at him as he stopped beside her. As she began to shift her arms, Edmund furiously wiped his clammy hands on his pants; he didn’t want to take any chances. The bundle was smaller than he thought and yet he felt the weight of the world as it was placed in his arms.

“She…she’s so beautiful.” His voice was breathy, almost like he’d been running a marathon beforehand.

“She? How did you know?” Lena asked, voice dreamy; she was already beginning to drift off to sleep. After fourteen hours of labor, she had a right to be tired.

“I…I just had a feeling.” Edmund tore his eyes away from his new daughter to look at Lena. Her eyes were half-closed. He leaned in to kiss her forehead. “Oh, *Luce, you did so well. Sleep now. Sarina and I will be here when you wake.”

“Sarina? I like that.”

Edmund smiled. “We’ll call her Sara; she’ll be our littlest Princess.”

**Narnia**

Lena and her daughters had been in Narnia for nearly three weeks when an abnormally warm day in autumn came around. They decided to take advantage of it by spending the day at the beach. Meri and Sara were playing near the water’s edge, while Lena sat on a blanket on the sand between Lucy and Susan. Her friendship with Lucy was easily and effortlessly established. Establishing a friendship with Susan wasn’t hard either, and usually involved learning another language.

“All right, let’s try this one,” Lena said. “Beviamo qualcosa.”

“Say it again, please, a little slower,” Susan asked.

“Be-vi-amo qual-co-sa.”

“Bee-vee-amo…”

“…qual-co-sa.”

Susan and Lucy tried a couple of attempts without Lena’s aid. Susan picked it up fairly easily; Lucy struggled.

“Kahl…”

“Qual…”

“Kal…”

“Qu-wal,” Lena corrected again, unable to refrain from laughing.

“No, it’s all right. Go on and laugh at me. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to speak Italian,” Lucy said.

“*Beviamo qualcosa.”

“*Sì! Ben fatto, Susanna.”

“Thank you, now what did I say exactly?” Susan asked.

Lena laughed. “Let’s have a drink.”

“Ooh! Sì, let’s!” Lucy shouted as she reached for the jar of wine they’d brought out. They were laughing so hard they only had a second’s warning.

“King Edmund and Nalsa approach.”

“You ladies sound like you’re having a good time. What’s going on?” Edmund asked. Lena took a sip of her wine.

“Lena is giving us Italian lessons,” Susan replied.

“I didn’t realize language lessons could be so entertaining.”

“Listening to Lucy trying to speak Italian is what’s entertaining. You never know what she’s going to say. What did you call Todric again?”

“I’d rather not repeat it,” Lucy replied looking abashed. Then she turned around to look at her Fox guard. “And I am sorry, Friend.” The Fox, who was sitting with Bea and Baja far enough away to keep Lena at ease but close enough to hear, gave his assurances to his Queen that offense had not been taken. Meanwhile, Lena had yet to speak or even look at Edmund, but that was soon to change.

“Lady Ileana,” Edmund said; Lena swallowed roughly. “I was hoping to have a word…with Sara.”

_Sara?_ Lena was surprised but slightly relieved at the same time. She took another quick sip of wine. “I cannot guarantee your success in that,” she said looking at him at last. “For try as I might, I still cannot control her reactions. So know that you do so at your own risk.”

Edmund nodded. “She does appear to be a fierce opponent, perhaps the fiercest I’ve faced, but I think it is a risk I’d like to take.”

Lena fought her smile; he really had no idea what he was about to get into. “As you wish.” Then she called out to daughters in Italian. “Meri! Bring Sara here please.”

Meri looked to her mother before turning her focus to Edmund. A bit of silent communication passed between them that did not go unnoticed by Lena. She was curious about it but pushed the exchange to the back of her mind while Meri brought Sara over.

Meri did not take Sara to Lena, however, but instead led her to Edmund who met them about halfway. Lena watched the exchange that followed with wary apprehension; she was ready to sweep in should Sara become upset again. Sara, however, simply withdrew behind Meri’s leg, partially concealing herself. Edmund, for his part, bent down to Sara’s level.

“Hello, Sara; my name is Edmund,” he began. “I know I may not be the person you were hoping for or wanting to see, but I have a very important question that only you can answer.”

Sara stepped out from behind Meri’s leg in curiosity. Edmund took that as a sign to continue.

“Would you like to be my friend?” he asked.

Sara looked up at Meri, who nodded encouragingly at her.

“I don’ know,” Sara replied with a shrug of her shoulders as she looked back at Edmund.

“Well, it would make me really happy if you did want to,” he said.

Sara looked back up at Meri. Then she cocked her head, pinched her lips to one side of her face, and furrowed her brow as she studied Edmund. After a long pause, she asked, “Do you know how to play Princesses and Pirates?”

“Do I know how to play Princesses and Pirates? Do _I_ know how to play…” he huffed dramatically. “That’s only my favorite thing to play.”

Sara’s eyes went wide. “Mine too!”

“Yeah?! Who wouldn’t love to play Princesses and Pirates? Do…do you want to play now?”

Sì! Sì! *Jo’camo! Jo’camo!” Sara shouted gleefully.

“Wait! Wait, I have another question,” Edmund said. “Am I the Princess or the Pirate?”

“Silly, Eddie,” Sara giggled. “I’m the Princess!” Then Sara turned and ran to Lena, throwing her arms around her neck. “Jo’camo, Mamma! Jo’camo!”

Lena hugged her back tightly, swallowing back the tears that rushed forth. “Not today, Topa,” she replied.

“Mamma?” Sara’s face fell. Lena smiled.

“You will need someone to bear witness to all your noble deeds, and I shall sing the tale of each one,” Lena said, and Sara’s smile returned. “Now go, mi amore. Play with King Edmund.”

And off Sara ran.

**XXX**

They had been playing on the beach for hours without pause. Sara’s laughter rang through the air until Lena went down to break it up.

“Mamma, I don’ wanna go,” Sara whined.

“I know. I must be so cruel to break it up. But the hour is getting late and the warmth has gone; I will not have you catching cold, Topa. If he is willing and able then maybe you can play again tomorrow.”

“I will make sure I make time for it,” Edmund said. “But you should listen to your mother now.”

“Go with Meri and Aunt Lulu,” Lena added.

“Mamma...”

“Sarina, smettila!”

“Princesses don’t whine,” Edmund said.

“Come on, my little darling. It’s time for me and you to have some fun,” Lucy said, sweeping in to pick up Sara. They left, with Sara’s laughter ringing through the air once more, leaving Lena and Edmund alone on the beach. Things were tense and awkward for a moment before Lena broke it.

“I would like to thank you for what you are attempting to do in establishing a…” Lena paused. She was unsure of how to describe it properly.

“A co-existence?” Edmund offered. Lena smiled despite herself; he still knew what she was trying to say.

“Yes. A co-existence. It will make things much easier for my daughters.”

“I thought they were our daughters, my Lady.” Lena bristled but did not speak. “I have upset you, or offended you perhaps. Please, speak freely; there is no other way you and I can co-exist.”

“It was…unintentional I’m sure. There are certain turn of phrases that do not sit well with me. Cuore knows to avoid them. In this case, it would be, ‘my lady.’ It only ever served as a pungent reminder in Telmarine court that I was no true lady.”

“Then the infraction was unintentional, and I will make sure it is not used again by me nor anyone else in this _Narnian_ court,” he emphasized. “But I sense there is more.”

Lena nodded. “Meri and Sara. They are not your daughters. Not yet. You have no responsibility to them here.”

“In that, I disagree. A father’s duty does not waiver with time and space but remains constant. I am sure your, what did you call him?”

“Cuore.”

“Cuore,” he repeated with ease. “I am sure he would agree with me. But that was a test, wasn’t it?”

Lena paused. “Would you think less of me if I said yes?”

“You are a mother trying to do what is right by our daughters. Who could fault you for that?” Edmund sighed when Lena still did not appear to be at ease with him. “It is obvious that I cannot approach what you have with Cuore the same way I approach what the girls have with Babbo. So, can we try this a different way?” He held out his hand. “I’m Edmund.”

Lena pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and looked up and to the side, but a tear fell regardless. She hated the very notion of starting over. What she and Cuore had was too precious to treat so casually. And yet… the suggestion of starting over is the very thing Cuore would have done in Edmund’s place.

Lena took his outstretched hand. “Ileana.”

“May I walk you to the castle, Lady Ileana?”

“You may walk with me if that is your wish, but I do not need an escort.”

Their walk began in silence, Edmund struggled to break it. “Who…who taught you how to fight?” he said at last. He was ninety percent sure of the answer already, but it was starting point at least.

Lena looked at him through the corner of her eye. “Why do you ask?”

“You have good form; you must have had a good instructor. And given the views of Telmarine men, I doubt it was one of them.”

“The only blade a Telmarine would give a woman is the knife to cut his meat with because he is too much of a *culo to do it himself.”

“Culo?”

“An arse,” Lena explained; Edmund grinned. “Cuore taught me the basics in defensive knife-wielding soon after we met. I thought it silly when he began, but…” Lena had to pause as she shoved aside the image of a bloody knife in her hands and a body at her feet. “When he began instructing Meri years later, I took a more serious interest in it. I was tired of feeling weak.”

“How long have you been studying the polearm?”

“Only about four years. Well, three; I haven’t done much of it in the last year.”

“No. Truly? It must be longer than that. You were very good in our duel.”

“I’m a quick study; the perfectionist in me demands it and it has served me well in the past with the ability to adapt. Also, I had the best swordsman in Narnia to instruct me.”

Edmund grinned again and Lena smirked. “Peter is very skilled.”

“Oh, now that is just cruel.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations
> 
> Beviamo qualcosa: Let’s have a drink  
Sì! Ben fatto, Susanna: Yes. Well done, Susan.  
Luce (mia): Light of mine  
Jo’camo: Sara’s take on giochiamo, let’s play.  
Culo: ass/arse


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**1950, Vienna**

Lena pushed the bile down as his hand slid a little lower than what was considered decent for such a public setting.

“Monsieur!” She smiled and scolded him in French with faux modesty. The key was to be loose enough to inspire such actions but to project enough modesty to show that nothing more would happen without significant persuasion. Men were more likely to let information slip when they were off-balanced, and Lena was very good at making men off-balanced.

In response to her sultry French, of which he understood nothing—he being some mid-ranked officer of the local regime Little King suspected of having sensitive intel—he moved his hand up her back a fraction of an inch to show compliance while not-so-subtly pulling her closer, making his own wishes clear. Lena was spared from having to issue further warnings by the approach of another soldier. He leaned in close to the Officer and spoke in German. It was a simple, nonsensical greeting, but it was evident that he didn’t want to say more around her. Lena made sure to keep her look innocent and naïve as she snuggled into the Officer. Her tactic worked as she knew it would.

“Speak freely,” the Officer said in his native tongue, while his hand slid down her back once more. “She’s just a dumb French broad.”

Lena kept her smile. “Monsieur, eef your friend wants a taste, ‘e will ‘ave to wait ‘is turn.” She kept her accent thick and heavy.

“Madame, there will be no sharing tonight.”

“Oui,” she said. Then she continued in French with her most seductive smile. “You smell like a pig and you make me sick.”

The Officer grinned and roughly pulled her even closer so that his lower region was flush against hers. “Hurry this along, Klaus. I have pressing matters to attend to.”

Lena laid her head on the Officer’s chest while her hand traced lazy patterns on the back of his neck. The Soldier cast a wary eye towards her before delivering his message in German—which Lena was not supposed to understand. The Officer swore and pulled back; Lena made sure her eyes displayed a sense of longing from the withdrawal.

“Madame, I need…” He began in French but it was clear he was struggling to continue. Finally, he settled for their common English tongue. “Leave. I must leave.”

“Monsieur, no. Stay wiz me.” She had to put up some fight to sell her sincerity.

“I would but I really must leave. It is worse for you I think; oh, the things I would do to that body…” He sucked in a breath as his eyes raked over her form. “But duty calls.”

As he walked off, Lena made sure she looked forlorn and disappointed for as long as necessary. Then she turned to look for Little King. He was across the room and at first she passed over him; he was dancing with a blonde made of nothing but legs. Lena felt a knot twist and coil tightly in her stomach at the sight. He looked up, caught Lena’s gaze, and left the leggy blonde in an instant. Lena turned and walked away. They met in a secluded hall outside.

“What have you learned?” he asked, leaning against the wall casually.

Lena found it hard to talk due to the knot that had worked its way up to her throat; surely it was a remnant from her proximity to the Officer because what else could it be? She swallowed and forced it down.

“It is as you suspected,” she said. He nodded. “They move tomorrow.”

“Then our people must move tonight. I’ll inform Daniels. How…how are you?”

Lena shrugged. “Fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Strucker was groping you.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s nothing a glass of wine won’t wash away. Now, if that is all, I have a glass calling my name.” She turned to walk back inside.

“Ileana, wait,” Edmund stopped her. “About Celeste, I…”

“Who?” Lena turned around looking confused. Edmund was sure she had seen her.

“Celeste, the girl I was dancing with…”

“Oh. You mean the one with nothing but legs, a dress that was too tight for public decency, and the cheap hair? What of her?” The knot was suddenly back in full force. _Strange_, Lena thought; washing the Officer away would require something stronger than wine.

“It was nothing,” Edmund said looking at Lena curiously. “She was just a cover. It wouldn’t have gone anywhere.”

“I believe the loo would have been far enough for her to have covered you.”

One side of Edmund’s mouth quirked up; he thought he knew what this was about now. “There’s no need to be jealous.”

“I’m not!” she said quickly. “But you…you know she was a *puttana, right? She would have said anything to have you for the night. I should know.”

“You are not a puttana, Ileana, and it wouldn’t have mattered what she said. It wouldn’t have worked on me.”

“Unlikely,” Lena said, looking off to the side and unable to meet his eyes. Then she added softly, “She was beautiful.”

“She’s not my type.”

“Too tall for you, Little King?” Her eyes snapped back to his.

“Too blonde,” Edmund replied.

His eyes didn’t leave hers, and Lena had never felt anything like the intensity behind them before. Her breath caught in her throat. The knot in her stomach twisted into something unfamiliar. She couldn’t move and she couldn’t look away. Slowly, Edmund pushed himself off the wall and stepped towards her. He was closing the distance between them when his eyes caught sight of something over her shoulder. He swore.

“What is it?”

“No! Don’t turn around,” he said, quickly grabbing her shoulders. “The other soldier, the one that approached you and Strucker.”

“Klaus?”

“He’s coming this way. He can’t see you talking to me; it will blow our cover. We need…”

Edmund was cut off by Lena suddenly kissing him. She spun them around so that she was pressed against the wall, his body flush against hers concealing her entirely from view. They did not kiss with the reckless fumbling of beginners but with the practiced ease of old lovers.

Edmund found it difficult to breathe when Lena finally pulled back. His heart was thumping, his mind racing with thought, with memories. His hands clung to the silk dress about her waist; hers were on his chest, surely she could feel how his heart beat wildly for her. He wanted more. He needed more. One kiss would not satiate him, but…she wasn’t ready for that yet. She wasn’t ready to know.

“He’s gone,” she said. Her voice was a breathy whisper and she seemed unable to look at him once again.

So she had not been completely unaffected by their kiss? But she couldn’t know what it meant to him. She couldn’t know all the years he’d been waiting for this, how he searched for her, how he longed for the day when he would be hers.

“We should move before he returns. It is unwise to risk such a close encounter again,” she said.

She couldn’t know how he loved her. Not yet.

“You are right,” Edmund swallowed. He let her go and stepped back. “I think we have gleaned all we can tonight. I will take you back to the hotel, and then I will touch base with Daniels.”

“It will save time if we go to Daniels together.”

“NO,” he said with more sharpness than intended. “No, I…after this close encounter, we should be together as little as possible. And, besides, you don’t like Daniels.”

Lena could not refute what he had said, but she couldn’t help wondering if there was another reason why he suddenly didn’t want her around. Without any suggestion to prove otherwise, she assumed it so he could sneak off to find the leggy blonde afterward. Lena wasn’t sure why that irritated her so much.

**Narnia**

Lena pulled the shawl around her shoulders as she stepped out into the garden. Unlike the abnormally warm day the week prior, this one held the bite of approaching winter. That did not keep Edmund from what had become a near-daily routine. He would find Meri in the morning and they’d spend time in the music room, or on the training grounds, or riding horses, whichever Meri preferred and weather permitted. Then, later in the afternoon, he and Sara would go on some wild adventure together; after which, he and Lena would talk.

Lena wasn’t sure what the adventure was this time, but when she found them Edmund was flat on his back on the cold stone while Sara stood over him. Lena smiled at seeing the joy on Sara’s face, and when Sara saw her, that joy expanded.

“Mamma!” Sara ran to her, Lena bent down to meet her.

“Oh, Sarina, mi amore. What happened to your dress? And your hands are filthy.”

Sara giggled. “I toll’ Eddie you wouldn’t wike it. But he says that some time dresses get dirty in battle.”

Lena’s eyes flashed over to Edmund who had propped himself up on his elbows; he was grinning.

“He also said to say ‘I wove you’ an’ all would be forgiven,” Sara continued.

Edmund shrugged.

“Ah,” Lena said. “Three words I cannot fight.” Then she kissed Sara’s forehead. “And what were you fighting in battle to get so dirty?”

“The ebil Sara-bus!” Sara pointed excitedly to a corner were Nalsa was “caged” by a ring of dirt. The Wolf sat stoically on her hindquarters.

“A Cerberus? Well, you must have been terribly frightened.”

“Princesses don’t get fight-end, Mamma!”

“Oh? Well then, you must be the bravest little Princess I have ever known. But even brave little Princesses must eat, and Cook has something very tempting brewing in the kitchen. I smell roast and potatoes, and…”

“Apples? I wan’ apples!”

“Hmm, I think so, but first, what must we do?”

Sara bit her lip in thought and Lena had to point it out. “Oh,” Sara giggled. “Wash our hands!”

“Yes, wash our hands, and you must change your dress too. Bea, will you please go with Sara to find Meri and see that all this is done?”

“Of course, Lady Ileana. This way, little pup.” Since Edmund’s return from his Western excursion, Lena was under a much less watchful eye, at least of the obvious sort; Lena suspected it was in accommodation of her unease around the Narnians. As a result, Bea often attended to Sara and, on occasion, Meri. The Hound made it as far as the door with Sara before Sara turned around and ran back. She ran first to Lena and threw her arms around her leg.

“Ti amo, Mamma!”

“Ti amo, Topa.”

Then Sara ran for Edmund. She threw her arms around his neck and toppled him to the ground. “Ti amo, Eddie!”

There was a sharp intake of breath on Lena’s part and a pause on Edmund’s before he replied. “Ti amo, Sara.”

Lena could not look at Edmund immediately afterward for fear of crying, so she turned her attention to his guard. Using her foot she swept away some of the dirt and released her.

“It was good of you to go along with Sara’s imaginings, Nalsa,” she said.

“I saw no harm in it, Lady Ileana. Her threat level was negligible,” the Wolf replied.

“All the same.” Lena adjusted her shawl once more before turning back to Edmund. “And you, I hope she wasn’t too rough on you.”

“Not at all. She is a true delight.”

“Yes, well, she will wear you out if you let her. I would hate for her to be the reason you shirk your duties as a king.”

“Bah.” He waved off her worries and sat up. “Pete is more than capable of covering for me, and besides, Narnia is at peace. Rabadash is confined in Calormen. The Archen court is rejoicing in the return of their lost prince. The Giants have been tamed, and the winds do not make for optimum sailing this time of year so there is little chance of an invasion from the sea.”

“Well, it sounds like you have the threat assessments well in hand.” She held out her hand to help him up.

Edmund smirked. “I see what you did there.” He went to take her hand, but she pulled it back at the last minute.

“Don’t even think of pulling me down with you.”

“_Me?_ I would never!”

Lena scoffed. “Yeah, I’ve heard that too many times to believe it again.” She held her hand back out. He considered it for a moment before accepting and pulling himself up.

“It’s no fun if you know it’s coming,” he reasoned.

They stood toe-to-toe for a minute, hands still clasped, and eyes locked on each other. Lena could see his laughter reflected in his eyes, and she felt a familiar coiling in her stomach. She pushed the longing down and freed her hand from his.

“You should get cleaned up too,” she said, adjusting her shawl. “Your sister would have my head if you showed up at dinner like that.”

“I think it more likely she’d take mine. My sisters are too fond of you.”

“This is true.”

He huffed.

“But don’t take it too hard though. People generally like me more.”

“Humility: a fine quality to have,” he teased as they began walking.

“It was my job to make people like me, and I usually had a very short time frame in which to perform. Cuore was the more logical tactician behind the scenes who organized and relayed the information.”

“What exactly did we do for the Crown?”

“We…” Lena paused. She was uncertain how much she should tell him and of exactly how to tell him. “We acquired information that wasn’t readily available. Men are easily distracted by a woman with a pretty face.” She said something more in French.

“I’m not sure what you just said, but would I be correct in assuming that it was something along the lines of ‘distracted men are more likely to let information slip when they believe the woman they’re with cannot understand their language?’”

“Oui. In simpler terms, most men are idiots.”

“Most men cannot fathom a woman being as smart or as capable as them.”

“Like I said, most men are idiots.”

Edmund smiled. “I do find it hard to believe, though, that I would be so willing to let you dangle yourself before other men like live bait, especially if I knew of your history with the Telmarine Lords.”

“You weren’t willing, not at all. In fact, it was a common argument between us. You had several opportunities to pass me to another handler, but you wouldn’t. And your superiors didn’t care how we got the information so long as we got it, and we always did. So…sometimes I danced with the men, I flirted with them, I allowed a groping hand once or twice, but I rarely kissed them and I never slept with them. My history with the Telmarines is what made me so good. I was able to read the men easily; I knew how much persuasion would be required or how little; Cuore saw to all the rest.”

“Still, it seems like too high a risk. What if one of them wanted too much?”

Lena swallowed back the panic and fear that suddenly came to mind as she recalled the look in Little King’s eye just before he launched himself at the Polkovnik. She pushed down the image of his bloodied and beaten body afterward and of the bloody knife in her hands. She absentmindedly rubbed her arms as though the Polkovnik’s bruises had left a permanent mark on her. She fought against the rush of emotions as she remembered her first night with Little King in the Ukraine, or of the bliss that came whenever he’d whisper _“Ti amo, luce mia.”_ And she failed to stop the tear that fell.

“Ileana?”

“There was risk,” she said, her voice shaking. “And sometimes it may have seemed too great, but the reward was greater still. The reward…was Cuore.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations  
Puttana: whore


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

“She cries every time I talk to her,” Edmund said sullenly.

Peter chortled.

“It’s not funny.”

“No, no you’re right. I was just thinking of what a wonderful husband you must be…if your wife cries every time you’re near,” Peter finished with a laugh.

“Yes. That’s hysterical, dear Brother,” Edmund deadpanned, eyeing Peter sharply.

“All right, all right, I’m sorry, Brother mine.” Peter held up his hands in surrender. “Earnestly, I do not envy you in this situation.” Peter took a moment to pour them each some ale. “I mean, you have this proof of another life, a future life, with a beautiful wife and two beautiful daughters, but you, of course, have no memory of it. It is difficult enough for me to comprehend and I’m just the favorite uncle.”

“You’re the only uncle…I think.”

“That’s irrelevant,” Peter waved off. “I think instead of fretting about it, you should stop to think of how lucky you are. Ileana is…remarkable.”

“She is, isn’t she? She’s beautiful sure, but there’s so much more to her than just that. She’s witty, intelligent, fluent in multiple languages, she makes no apologies for who she is, and she’s strong, damn near unstoppable. The atrocities of her past should have destroyed anyone, but she…she found a way to use them and she became stronger because of it.”

“What better fit could there be for the Just King of Narnia?” Peter asked, and Edmund wrinkled his face in thought.

“If I may make a suggestion, My King?” Nalsa asked.

“Please, Friend, speak. I think our dear Ed could use all the advice he can receive,” Peter replied.

“If the Lady Ileana is your Mate, then why not just mate with her? Why complicate things?”

Peter laughed and clapped Edmund on the back. “Why not indeed? A sound piece of advice if ever I’ve heard any.”

Edmund did not share Peter’s amusement. “It’s not that simple, Nalsa.”

“Because you refuse to make it that simple. It is clear to us Beasts that the two of you are… what’s the word you would use?”

“Perhaps you are looking for the word ‘attracted,’ my Friend?” Peter supplied.

“Thank you, High King. I do believe that is the word I was looking for.”

“Yes, they look at each other and they wish to see what lies beneath the gown and robes? Except, in this case, Ed, you are at a disadvantage for she knows what lies beneath the robe.”

“You are not helping, Peter,” Edmund said irritably. Peter simply laughed. “I cannot just mate with Ileana, Nalsa. For one, I believe that mating should be about more than just fulfilling the carnal desires of the flesh. And two,” Edmund took in a steadying breath. “I am not yet the man she wants.”

This, at least, shut Peter up.

**1950, Somewhere over Eastern Europe**

“I don’t understand why men get so bothered by sex,” Lena said rather abruptly. The woman sitting on Edmund’s right bristled and took in a sharp intake of air. Edmund, too, was caught a bit off guard.

“What?” he asked, his voice squeaking a little.

“Men will lose themselves, lose their principles for the chance at one night with a beautiful woman. I’ve had sex loads of times and I don’t see the appeal in it.”

Again, the woman sitting beside Edmund huffed and puffed. Clearly, she was disgruntled by the use of the word ‘sex’ on a public plane. So, Edmund continued his conversation with Lena in Italian.

“Ileana, please, lower your voice. There are some people who are not so open about the discussion of sex in public.” He looked pointedly over his shoulder at the woman. “Or at all possibly,” he amended. “Secondly, I wouldn’t label what you’ve had as sex, but rather men forcing themselves on you against your will and consent.”

“I didn’t fight them; I didn’t resist them,” Lena argued.

“And what would they have done to you if you had? Kill you?”

“If I was lucky. They would have beaten me more likely, taken what they wanted, again and again, and…then they would have killed me.”

Edmund had to control his breathing, and flex his fists until his nails dug into the palms of his hands and the anger subsided. If he had known everything Miraz had done to Lena or everything he was capable of doing to her, Edmund would have killed Miraz in that tent the moment he saw him. And he did just that, a thousand times over in his head before he was ready to speak again.

“You did what you had to in order to survive, Lena; that is not the same thing as being willing or compliant.” He sighed and looked at her. “But you are right. Some men will throw their honor aside for one night of mediocre sex…”

“I was never mediocre,” she defended quickly. Edmund grinned; no, she wasn’t.

“But sex, true sex the way I believe it is meant to be, when done between two people who genuinely care for each other, who love each other, well it’s… it’s greater than anything you can imagine.”

Lena stared at him for a moment. “You are a better spy than you are a poet, Little King.”

He laughed. “Very astute of you.”

“And… thank you, Edmund,” she said softly. “Most men do not see that a woman being forced is not compliance.”

“Well, as someone once told me, most men are idiots. And I’ve learned to trust her.”

Lena laughed. “Smart girl.” Edmund simply smiled to himself.

**Narnia**

“How did we meet?” Edmund asked as he leaned against the rail post nearest to Lena.

It was a late autumn day, warm sun and brisk breeze. Meri had asked Lena to come out and see how she was progressing in her horseback lessons. Lena would have rather not seen because every time Meri changed directions or went a little faster, Lena’s heart skipped a beat or two. How to ride a horse had not been a part of her teachings at the House of Labugia.

“Shouldn’t you be watching Meri, and making sure she doesn’t fall?” Lena asked, jumping slightly and pinching her eyes shut.

“Nah, she’s fine.” Edmund waved off her concerns. “She’s on Philip; there’s no better Horse to be on, and really, she’s a natural.”

“Ugh. Please, I hope you did not tell her that. She seems to be a natural at everything she does. There has not been an instrument she has picked up that she hasn’t learned in a week.”

“She does seem to be overflowing with talent.” He almost sounded a little proud. “Where’s Sara?”

“Down for her nap, finally. Bea is with her. She really fought me on it this time; I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to get daily naps from her.”

Edmund nodded. “Naps are nice. Maybe I can sweet talk her into holding on a bit more for you. So! How did we meet?” he said, abruptly changing the subject.

Lena looked at Edmund curiously. “I’ve already told you how we met. We meet in France when you come to recruit me.”

“Ah, but—correct me if I’m mistaken, Nalsa—you also said we met once before but that we did not speak. It is of that meeting of which I inquire.”

“Did I say that?”

“You did, Lady Ileana,” Nalsa replied. Edmund grinned victoriously.

“I am wondering if perhaps I might have said too much. If you know what happens in your future, does that make it happen?”

“Or will we change things accidentally and keep them from happening? I can see your concerns, Ileana,” Edmund paused in thought for a moment. “Perhaps if you only told us the good and not the bad. We are not likely to want to change the good.”

“Sometimes, particularly between me and you, the good and the bad are…inseparable.”

“Well then, in those cases I will leave the judgment to you.” There was a pause. “Is our first meeting one such occasion?”

Lena laughed. “As annoyingly persistent as ever, I see.”

“You might want to get used to that,” Edmund smirked.

Lena sighed but smiled. “We first saw one another…in Narnia, underneath the tent at the Telmarine war camp.”

Edmund was confused. “Telmarine war camp? But how…?” His eyes went wide as he pieced it together. “We come back! Lady Ileana, you neglected to tell us that we come back.” His words were crisp and pointed.

“Yes. I neglected to tell you that after you leave here you’ll return within a year of your time back there only to find that thirteen hundred years have passed here and everything you hold dear is dead or destroyed including this castle which lies in ruin. Forgive me for trying to spare you _that_ detail.” Lena returned his sharpness with her own.

Edmund sighed and bowed his head in shame. “You are right. Forgive my anger, please.”

Lena’s anger was not so easily abated, but after a short pause, she nodded.

“Now, back to the matter of our first meeting, why were you at the war camp?”

“Because one of the ways Miraz liked me best was when I was on display. He wanted every man to see the young beauty he bedded each night. It was one of his ultimate power plays. Look at her, see her, desire her even, but do not touch her for she is mine and mine alone.

“I was sitting on his lap when you walked in. You did your thing, delivered your speech, a very nice speech. I wish I could tell you I felt some sort of hope of salvation; here was this young Prince come to rescue me…”

“King,” Edmund corrected habitually.

“_Just_ King though.”

Edmund quirked his eyebrow.

Lena smiled. “It’s nothing. Anyway, Miraz asked me what I thought of your proposition. Mind you, I wasn’t often allowed to speak, but when I was I could only speak Telmarine, so you would have had no idea what I said.”

“What did you say?”

Lena’s smile turned to a smirk. “‘Big words for a Little King.’”

“Ouch, harsh.” Edmund pulled back with mock hurt.

“Miraz thought, as you do now, that those words were meant for you.”

Edmund laughed loudly, causing a few nearby Narnians to look at them but they took no notice. Lena couldn’t help but laugh along with him. Their eyes locked and Lena began to feel that old familiar coiling in her gut. She had to look away. Unfortunately that meant her eyes were free to find Meri. She was now running at high speed across the open field. Lena gasped and covered her face with her hands.

Edmund smiled. “I assure you, she is quite safe. Come, I will show you.”

He held out his arm to her and Lena accepted without pause. He led her over to the edge of the field and then called for Meri and Philip to return. They arrived much faster than Lena would have liked.

“Did you see, Mamma?”

“I did. You’re going a little fast don’t you think?”

“I was hardly even at half-speed,” the Horse said.

“Merda!” Lena jumped and placed her hand over her beating heart. “You could have warned me it was a Talking Horse, Ed.”

Edmund and Meri laughed. “I thought you knew,” he said, overlooking the casual use of the nickname Ed. 

“Meri and Sara know more of your Narnian tales than I do. My apologies, Philip if I offended you with my assumption.” Lena had learned, in her short time there, that Talking Beasts often took offense when any reference was made to a similarity they might share with their dumb counterparts. 

“None taken, Lady Ileana. You should have heard King Edmund when he first discovered,” the Horse said with what could only be described as a snicker.

“That is one Narnian tale I may wish to hear, anything that would knock his ego down a peg or two.”

“Then I have plenty to tell.”

“Oy! There will be none of that,” Edmund protested.

“We will speak when he is not around,” the Horse said adamantly.

Edmund shook his head. “First my Sisters and now my Horse. What more will you take from me?”

“He is not your Horse so much as you are his Human,” Meri said.

Philip snickered again. “I like this little Mare.”

“And I thought we had something special,” Edmund said with dramatic sullenness. Then he waved Meri down. “Come, your mother is concerned for your safety. I wish to show her she has nothing to fear. That is, of course, if it is all right with you, Friend.”

“I can go a bit longer,” Philip replied.

“What are you talking about?” Lena asked.

Meri swung off Philip with ease, a gleam in her eye that Lena didn’t altogether trust. Edmund then entwined his fingers and held them palm-up beside Philip.

“Your turn,” he said.

“Wait, what?”

“I’m going to show you there is nothing to fear.”

“You want me to get up there?”

“I do.”

“I’m in a dress,” she said as though it were obvious.

“Mamma, come on, it will be fun.”

“Show me where Meri gets her fearlessness from,” Edmund added. With both of them goading her, Lena really had no choice.

“Fine,” she huffed. “What do I need to do?”

“I’ll give you a boost up. You’ll put your left foot here and then swing your right over.”

“If you drop me…”

“I won’t, promesso.”

“What did you say?”

“Promesso? That is the word for ‘I promise,’ isn’t it? Did I miss pronounce it?”

“No, you said it perfectly,” Meri said. Lena looked over her shoulder at her. “I’ve been teaching him a few phrases. He picks up Italian much easier than Aunt Lulu.” Meri giggled.

“Yes…he does.”

“Great! Now that that’s settled…” Edmund entwined his fingers by Philip’s saddle once more. “Are you ready?”

With one final sigh of disbelief, Lena picked up the skirt of her dress in one hand and grabbed the saddle with the other. With the helpful boost, she managed to pull herself up.

“Now, move forward a little; are you good?” Edmund asked.

“As good as I can be I guess…whoa! What…?”

Edmund had swung himself up behind her without warning.

“You didn’t think I’d make you do this alone, did you?”

“I…” Lena swallowed and took a deep breath. She didn’t expect him to get on behind her, but she wasn’t entirely against it.

“There are no reigns,” she said. “What do I hold on to?”

“Not my hair, please,” Philip said. “I just had it washed.”

Edmund laughed and rolled his eyes. “You won’t need to hold on, but if it will make you feel better you can hold here or here.” He reached around her to point out the locations on the saddle; Lena’s breath caught in her throat at his proximity.

“You all right?” he whispered. 

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Now, I’ve got you, so you won’t fall.” His breath sent chills down her spine. “When you’re ready. Just a gentle walk for now, I think, Philip.”

Lena took a moment to steady herself before giving Philip the okay. She wobbled as they started moving, but Edmund’s hands were quick to grab her waist and steady her. The blood rushed in her ears as his body was pressed against hers; she could feel his breath on her neck when he exhaled, his hands seemed to burn holes in her dress where he held her.

He wasn’t Cuore, it’s true, but for a moment…she allowed herself to pretend.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

**1954, London**

Lena hurried the girls inside as the snow began to fall harder. They had gotten out of church just in time it seemed. She urged the girls along to change out of their dresses and put on their nightgowns, so they could make the mince pies for Babbo Natale. Meanwhile, Edmund took all the coats and hung them to dry. Then he went up to Lena and wrapped his arms around her waist; she leaned back into his embrace.

“You were lovely tonight,” he said softly in her ear.

“Thanks. It feels nice to be able to sing again…without all the other stuff.”

“Well, we can still do the other stuff, just you and…” Edmund was cut off by a thump and a wailing.

“Nice thought, Cuore. Maybe next year.” Lena smiled and pat his chest as she stepped out of his arms; she knew they’d soon be occupied by another. A second later, Sara came wobbling around the corner, face red with her tears. She bypassed Lena all together and went straight for Edmund. He scooped her up immediately.

“What happened?” Lena asked Meri as she followed her sister around the corner.

“Nothing. She tapped her head on the door and this happened.”

“Aw. Did that mean door attack my, Little Princess?” Edmund cooed.

Sara nodded her head, tears still falling as she pulled back the hair from her forehead. Lena could see no evidence of a bump at all, but Edmund kissed it all the same. As though by magic, Sara’s tears stopped and she smiled at him.

“Better now?”

“Mmm-hmm” Sara nodded enthusiastically and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck.

“Now, what kind of pies do you think Babbo Natale would prefer: fruit or beef?”

“Fute!” Sara exclaimed.

“Well, I think he should have something with more sustenance. I say beef,” Meri replied.

“Both it is then.”

“But only a few of each; we don’t want him filling up on our pies alone. He has many other houses to visit,” Lena added.

“A fine suggestion, Mi Amore,” Edmund said, leaning in to give her a kiss on the cheek.

“May I try some of the sherry this year?” Meri asked.

“Out of the question,” Lena replied.

It took them nearly an hour to get the pies ready for Babbo Natale and set out the corn and hay for his reindeer. Sara and Edmund made a mess as they did and had to go change Sara’s closes; afterwhich, they all settled in by the fire with their cups of hot chocolate and listened to Edmund as he read the Christmas story from the family Bible.

**1950, Netherlands**

_I’ll be home for Chrismas_

_If only in my dreams_

There was a spattering of applause as Lena finished singing and left “stage.” She saw Edmund standing nearby, smiling, with two cups and a bag of food in hand. They had been traveling to London when a blizzard forced their plane to make an emergency landing. They were now stranded on Christmas Eve in a small airport in the Netherlands. Before Lena could reach Edmund, an old woman stopped to talk to her. Lena couldn’t understand what the woman was saying, but she caught the gist of it from her smile and hand movements.

“Grazie, Signora; grazie,” Lena said in return. The woman smiled and nodded and moved on.

“I think you have a new fan,” Edmund said.

“A what?”

“A fan, an admirer, someone who enjoys your singing,” he explained.

“Oh. That’s a strange term for it. Why not just say admirer?”

“It’ short for fanatic.”

“I don’t think I want any fanatics following me around.”

Edmund smiled. “Come on, let’s find a place to sit; I’ve got us Christmas dinner.” They found a couple of chairs nearby, but they would have to use their laps as tables. Edmund set their drinks in an empty chair beside him before digging through the bag of food.

“Now, for our main course of Christmas turkey, we each have a turkey and cheese sandwich.” He handed her an almost day-old sandwich sealed in plastic. “They didn’t have any cranberry sauce so would you prefer an apple or a slightly browning banana?”

“The apple I guess unless you want it.”

“You can have it; I had my share of apples in Narnia. For dessert, we have a cup of Christmas pudding. At least, I think it’s Christmas pudding; that’s what the label said, but it doesn’t really look like it to me.”

“I’m sure it will be fine.”

“Well, if it’s not we’ve got this to wash it down with.” He picked up the cups with excitement.

“Airport wine?” Lena asked skeptically, and slightly hopeful.

“Even better. Hot chocolate.”

“Hot chocolate? Why would someone want to drink liquid chocolate?” She wrinkled her nose.

“No, it’s powdered chocolate mixed with water or milk—it’s better with milk—and heated to a toasty temperature. Have you seriously never had hot chocolate before?”

She shook her head.

“Well, I have sorely neglected my duties as an ambassador to this world then. Everyone should have the experience of drinking hot chocolate on Christmas Eve; its tradition. Here, try some, but be mindful to…” Edmund cringed. Lena had taken the cup and taken a mighty gulp from it.

“I’s hawt!” she exclaimed tenderly around her burnt tongue.

“Yes. Hence the name _hot_ chocolate,” he said, withholding a snicker.

Lena narrowed her eyes at him. “*Cretino,” she said; he laughed freely.

“In fairness, I did try to warn you.”

“‘_Here, drink this_,’” she mimicked.

“I meant try it with small sips; don’t drink half the cup in one go.”

“I noticed you have not had any of yours.”

“That’s because I’m letting mine cool off first.” There was a pause. “I could see how that might be viewed as misleading you. Fine.” He picked up his cup. “Cheers,” he said, then he took a hearty gulp. He coughed and spluttered over the too hot drink.

“There. See,” Lena said.

“Yeah, I see. This is awful. Why didn’t you tell me it was awful?”

“How was I to know?”

“Ugh! They definitely used water and not milk. I’m not even sure they used chocolate.” His face was pinched in disgust. “I will have to make you a proper hot chocolate one day, to remedy this atrocity.”

There was a long pause before Lena shyly asked, “*Prometti?”

Edmund looked at her and smiled. “*Promesso.”

He took her cup from her and set it on the chair beside him once again. Lena began to muddle her way through the dry bead and her sour apple. Surprisingly enough, their Christmas pudding was the best part of their meal. Outside, the storm raged on.

“I am sorry you have to miss Christmas Eve with your family,” Lena said.

Edmund shrugged. “It’s all right. I mean…they understand.” He looked over at her to see a rather guilty and sullen look on her face. “And I suppose…” he gave a dramatic sigh. “If I had to be stuck in an airport in the middle of a blizzard with anyone well…you wouldn’t be on the bottom of the list.”

“Oh, *cavolo, grazie mille!” She shoved his arm, smiling. He laughed.

An announcement came over the speakers. “Mr. Edmund Pevensie to the service counter. Mr. Edmund Pevensie, please report to the service counter.” The message repeated in a couple of other languages.

“Oh! This must be it. Come on.”

He grabbed Lena’s hand and led her over to the desk. He showed the attendant his I.D. and she handed over the phone. Edmund spoke quietly through the mouthpiece before turning and holding the phone out to Lena.

“It’s for you,” he said. “*Buon Natale.”

Lena took the phone hesitantly. “Ciao?”

Lena didn’t know what to expect when she put the receiver to her ear, but hearing Meri’s exclamation of “Mamma” wasn’t even in the realm of possibilities.

“Merina, mia dolce!” Tears sprung to her eyes and she could say no more. It didn’t matter though, because little Meri spoke enough for the both of them. She told Lena all about how Caterina had taken her to a Christmas Eve service at church, and about the music they sang. And she asked if Lena knew any of those songs and if they could sing them together one day. Lena said nothing could make her happier.

When the attendant came to take the phone back, Lena was sobbing uncontrollably. She was astounded she managed a reasonably coherent ‘Ti amo,’ before ending the call. Then she turned to Edmund, who was smiling, and threw her arms around his neck.

“Grazie. Grazie,” she cried through her tears.

Edmund hugged her back tenderly. “Prego.”

The blizzard did not let up as it was expected to, and they had to spend the night there. The flight attendants passed out blankets, but there weren’t enough to go around. So, Lena shared hers with Edmund. They sat up against a wall, side by side. Lena drifted off first, her head falling to the side on Edmund’s shoulder, and he thought to himself that this was one of the best Christmas’ on record.

**Narnia**

Lena stood on a terrace overlooking a snow-dusted Narnia, a thick shaw wrapped around her shoulders. Winter in Narnia was something Lena never got to fully appreciate. With snow-covered grounds, travel was difficult and prey to hunt was sparse. Miraz usually preferred to stay indoors, which meant Lena stayed indoors. As she looked out at the falling snow, she couldn’t help but to admire the simple beauty of it.

“I have a very… important doesn’t seem monumental enough… vital perhaps? Paramount?” Edmund broke Lena from her quite, solemn reprieve as he joined her on the terrace.

“Exigent?” Lena offered with a smile.

“Exigent. Nice; I like it. I have an exigent question for you,” he said handing her nightly glass of wine to her. “The answer to which, if unsatisfactory, could very well end…” His voice trailed off, as though he wasn’t quite sure how to put it into words.

“You feel it too, then?” Lena asked softly. She looked over at him and saw the answer written plainly on his face. She took a sip of wine.

Lena and her daughters had been in Narnia for nearly three months, and things between her and Edmund had become more…familiar yet complicated, which really seemed to sum up their entire relationship in the other place as well. King Edmund wasn’t Cuore, and yet there was so much of his personality, so much of what Lena had fallen in love with, that were identical to Cuore’s. Lena was hard-pressed to keep the separation between the two; especially when he looked at her a certain way.

“I…I’m not sure what it is I feel, but it’s a bit…” Again he seemed at loss, so Lena supplied the answer.

“Wondrous, yet frightening?”

“Frightening?”

“For I am a married woman, but you are not yet a married man.”

Edmund nodded, acknowledging the complication silently. They both, however, chose to overlook the complication as usual.

“You had a question for me?” Lena asked, looking back over the terrace and taking another sip.

“Oh! Yes. Uh—Do we drink hot chocolate on Christmas Eve?”

Lena had to laugh at the absurdity of the supposed exigent question. It was that kind of thing that had made her fall in love with Cuore in the first place, and now… with King Edmund.

“Mind you, this is a very serious question,” Edmund defended. “Cook needs to know how many cocoa beans to prepare.”

“Oh, yes, very serious then.” Lena blotted at the corners of her eyes and smiled. “Well then, you better tell her to have enough for three more. It is, what you call, a tradition after all.”

“Oh good…” Edmund let his shoulders sag with relief as he exhaled heavily. He leaned on the rail next to her, arms barely touching, his tone turning serious again as he said, “Because I don’t think I’m ready for this to end, yet.”

Lena felt the constricting of her throat and she bit back tears. His words hit a little too close to her heart. “It’ll never end. You…you have to know that. What we have…what we will have… You are my Cuore, my heart, and that can never end.”

“Ileana?” He looked at her, noticing the sudden and almost drastic desperation in her voice. “What’s…?” He was interrupted by the arrival of Sara and Bea.

“Sara? What are you doing out of bed?” Lena asked.

“Something is wrong, Lady Ileana,” Bea said. “She will not sleep.”

Sara silently pulled on Lena’s dress and asked to be picked up. Lena knew right away that something wasn’t right.

“Sara, Topa, what it is?” She picked her up and Sara immediately laid her head on Lena’s shoulder. Lena could feel the heat pouring off of her. “Sarina, *stai bruciando.” She pushed back Sara’s hair and kissed her forehead. “Dio mio!”

“What? What is it?” Edmund asked, his concern for Sara taking precedence over whatever Lena may have been hiding earlier.

“She has a fever,” Lena explained.

“What can I do?”

“We need to bring it down: a cold bath, a wet towel. Is there anything your healer might have?”

“I…I don’t know. I’ll go and get her; we’ll meet in you Sara’s room. In the meantime, Friend Bea, see that Lena has everything she needs to help with Sara.” Then he leaned in and kissed Sara’s forehead. “Don’t worry, Little Princess. We’ll have you feeling better in no time.”

A few hours later, Sara was only marginally better. She’d been placed in a cold bath, had cold towels placed on her head, and she’d been given bark of the willow tree by the Dryad. Sara was now sleeping in her own bed with Lena laying on her side next to her and Bea laying at their feet. Meri had been by to wish her well, Susan and Lucy too. Lucy had brought her cordial, but Lena said it wasn’t necessary. Peter popped his head in briefly, but Edmund was the last to visit. Lena knew when he arrived even without Bea’s warning.

“How…how is she?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper and laced with worry.

“She’ll be all right,” Lena said as her hand rubbed circles on Sara’s chest. “Her fever has subsided, but her breathing…”

Sara made a wheezing sound.

“…is labored,” Lena finished.

“I don’t understand, how can you sound so calm right now? I feel anxious, restless, and…ill-equipped to help her.”

Lena looked up at him, eyes sharp. “Look at me and tell me I do not feel as you do.”

“I…” Edmund stared at her, but he couldn’t finish his sentence. He could see the undeniable worry and fear in Lena’s eyes, even if her voice did not betray her.

“There, now you see my weakness.” Lena turned her attention back to Sara. “It is good that you are here. Take off your shoes. Make yourself comfortable. And lay down.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You will understand once you do it.”

Edmund looked to where the Hound lay unmoving. Clearly, she detected nothing untoward in Lena’s voice. So, he slowly did as instructed and lay on the other side of Sara. He wasn’t sure what to do with his hands; after a bit of shifting, he decided to prop his head up with one hand and took hold of one of Sara’s with the other.

“It is never easy to see her like this,” Lena said once he was settled.

“Is she sick often?”

“At least once a winter. She was sick on four different occasions when she was four; that was the second-worst winter.”

“What was the first?”

“The worst winter was her first winter. There was an incident in London that year; I don’t understand how it happened, but they called it smog. Many people got sick, including Sara. She was so tiny, only a month old and she was the sickest she’d ever been. She couldn’t breathe on her own, so the healers put her on a new machine that did it for her. You…You don’t know fear until your child is at risk of dying.” Lena had to wipe away a few stray tears.

“I’m so sorry. I…I didn’t know. I can’t imagine…” Edmund pinched his eyes shut against the horribleness of it all.

“We were fortunate that winter when so many were not. Young and old alike were affected, but eventually, the clouds lifted; Sara recovered, but she is prone to illness every winter now. It is not a matter of _if_ but _when_ she gets sick, and when she does, we lay with her as we are now as we did then. Listen to her breaths; can you hear the difference?”

There were a few beats of silence as they both listened. “She’s not wheezing anymore.”

“She knows you are here… Even if you are not you, yet.”

“Then, I will stay here… that is if it is all right with you.”

“Why else do you think I told you to get comfortable?” Lena smirked faintly. Then she stretched out her arm and lay her head down as she began to sing.

_*Fa la ninna, fa la nanna_  
Nella braccia della mamma  
Fa la ninna bel bambin  
Fa la nanna bambin bel  
Fa la ninna, fa la nanna  
Nella braccia della mamma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations
> 
> Cretino: Jerk
> 
> Prometti/Promesso: Promise?/I promise
> 
> Cavolo, grazie mille: geeze, thanks alot
> 
> Buon Natale: Merry ChristmasS
> 
> Stai bruciando: you’re burning up
> 
> Italian lullaby: Go to sleep, go to sleepy / In the arms of your mother / Go to sleep, lovely child /Go to sleepy, child so lovely / Go to sleep, go to sleepy / In the arms of your mother


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter gets a little heavy on the spiritual and emotional side. More on this at the end of the chapter.

**Chapter 12**

Lena felt safe. She was cozy under the blanket, enveloped in her favorite scent, and she felt a warm, gentle breath on the back of her neck. She snuggled deeper into the pillow with a soft sigh. Something moaned behind her and the arm around her waist tightened, pulling her closer.

Her eyes flew open.

Why was there an arm around her waist? Why was there breath on the back of her neck? And was that an…*erezione…against her backside? It was!

Lena slowly looked over her shoulder; Edmund was just opening his eyes too. A short second passed, as he stared at her before he realized what was happening. They both jumped out of bed in a hurry. Lena tried to look anywhere but at the obvious. Edmund grabbed the pillow to try and hide the evidence.

“I…I’m so sorry, Ileana; I…”

“Sara? Where’s Sara?” Lena asked, looking down at the bed. Sara was nowhere in sight.

“She’s asleep in my bed,” Meri said from across the room. Both Edmund and Lena jumped.

“Merda, Meri!”

“Meri! Uh—er—g-good morning,” Edmund stuttered out, trying to stand so he was blocked by the bed as well as the pillow.

“Good morning,” Meri replied slowly as she watched them. Lena refused to look directly at Edmund, while he stood awkwardly behind the bed toying with a pillow. “So… Sara came crawling into my bed late last—are you all right, Edmund?”

“Fi—fine,” his voice cracked. He coughed. “Fine.”

“O…K… Well, are you particularly fond of that pillow, or something?”

He shook his head. “What? No. No, I…”

“Merina, stop this nonsense.” Lena suddenly spat in Italian. “This doesn’t concern you.” Edmund eyed her cautiously.

“Fine!” Meri returned with the same bite as her mother. “I just thought you’d want to know where your daughter was when you finished shagging!”

“Merina!”

“Did she just say…?” Edmund couldn’t finish his sentence.

“We were not…we did not…shag.”

“Maybe you should,” Meri suggested.

“What?! Merina Maira Pevensie, how dare you…”

“What? Point out the obvious because you’re too Telmarine to see it?”

Edmund was lost. Lena and Meri were shouting in Italian and he could only catch a few words, but he knew things were especially heated due to the use of Meri’s full name. He tried to intervene but was only yelled at for his effort.

“Ladies, please try…”

“Stay out of this Ed!”

“Don’t turn on him, Mamma! He’s just trying to help like he always does like he always has. But yet again you are too stubborn to see it. You don’t even see what this is, this whole chance we’ve been given!” Tears formed in the corner of Meri’s eyes; she pushed on. “You’re too focused on getting home. Home to what, Mamma?”

“Merina, please…” Lena’s voice was suddenly deflated, defeated. Edmund looked at her curiously.

“Back to a world without you? You may be eager to die, Mamma…” Meri shook her head, tears running down her cheeks. “But I am not ready to watch you!”

“Meri, please come back,” Lena tried, following her to the door, but it was too late; Meri was gone.

Lena felt her tears threatening to break the surface; she shoved them down. The one reprieve she could find in their argument was that Meri had stuck to Italian. So, Edmund, though he was learning quickly, would not have comprehended everything that was said. But now what did she do? She had one daughter who was sick and needed her, and another who was hurting and needed her just as desperately.

“God, I could really use some divine intervention right about now,” Lena cried in Italian.

There was movement behind her; Lena spun around to find Edmund still standing by the bed. For a second she had forgotten he was there.

“Let me help you, please,” he pleaded softly.

Lena nodded and wiped her eyes. “Sara. Check on Sara. I need to find Meri.”

Edmund nodded then he quickly crossed the distance between them. He wiped the still falling tears from her face and took her hands in his. “Whatever that was about… it will be all right,” he said. “It will be all right.”

“How…how can I make her understand what’s happening when I can’t understand it myself?”

**XXX**

Meri ran from her sister’s room. She ran from her mother’s outstretched arms. She ran from the teary eyes and pained look on her face. Meri ran…but she didn’t know where to run to.

Usually, she would run to Babbo whenever she and her Mamma had an argument, which was more often than either of them liked. Babbo said it was because the two of them were more alike than they were different. Mamma said it was because of the wretched Telmarine blood they shared. Babbo then equated that to stubbornness.

But Babbo wasn’t really there and King Edmund was too caught up in his own feelings for Mamma, so where could she go? She was in a castle surrounded by family who wasn’t family. There were familiar faces all around her, of which she knew numerous tales, but to them, she was more stranger than friend. For the first time since arriving, Meri felt alone and she longed for the familiar comfort of home. Thinking of home and what awaited them there, however, only brought fresh tears to her eyes.

“Meri?”

Meri jumped at the sound of Peter’s voice. She turned around trying, and failing, to reign in her tears. She couldn’t see much through her haze, but she saw Jagar standing tall and proud by Peter’s side and one of the castle Fauns, Mr. Kof, on the other. Meri knew she should probably say “good morning,” but when she opened her mouth more sobs issued instead.

“Tell Queen Susan to take the briefing alone; she can fill me in later. And have… Do you prefer tea or coffee, Meri? … Meri?”

Meri sniffled. “T-t-tea, please. Ma-mma doesn’t let me have cof-fee.”

Peter turned back to Mr. Kof. “Have some of both sent up to my study, along with those biscuits I like.”

“Right away, your Majesty. Lady Meri.” Mr. Kof bobbed his head to them both before leaving.

“I do detest those weekly briefings from the Llamas.” Peter smiled. “Would you care to join me in skipping them?”

Meri sniffled again, wiped her eyes, and nodded. They walked silently through the halls, with Peter leading the way and Meri crying softly behind him. The argument was on replay in her mind; every word she said, every word she didn’t, and every word she wished she had said instead echoed through her memory. She didn’t notice when they arrived at Peter’s study, or when he stoked the fire sending a rush of heat through the room. And she didn’t notice when Mr. Kof returned with tea and coffee and he poured them each a cup.

“I am told you and your mother had quite the row this morning,” Peter said. Meri looked up. “Word travels fast in this castle, especially heated words. Many of our guards thought to intervene. You had Sir Jagar ready to go to battle in your defense.”

Meri looked around for the Cheetah but did not see him. She realized Peter must have told him to keep watch outside. She spoke just loud enough for him to hear through the cracked door.

“It is well thought, Sir Jagar, but I would not have you go to war against my mother.” She sniffled and her voice weakened. “The enemy I would have defeated…you could not face and come back from.”

She began to cry again and Peter set down his coffee. “Yes,” he said. “I thought that might be what this is about.”

“I… I’m not sure I know…w-what you’re talking about…”

“I am referring to your mother’s illness, or perhaps…her death even.”

Meri could not deny it and only started crying more. “How…how did you kn-know?”

“Because I remember the day you arrived. I remember what she looked like then, and I see how she looks now, as though death has been reversed.”

Meri wiped her eyes. “She…she is not dead yet…but they…the doctors think it will be soon. Babbo…Babbo doesn’t know I was standing at the door when they told him; I wasn’t supposed to be there, but I couldn’t sleep. Babbo is the strongest man I know, and when they told him… I couldn’t bear to see him like that.”

Peter fought the bitter pinch in the back of his throat. The insurmountable grief his brother and nieces must be facing in the other place, and he was incapable of sparing them from it.

“I do not understand. How could God let this happen? How could he take her from us so soon?”

“You are asking questions to which no scholar or Narnian wise one has the answers to.”

“I have prayed every morning and every night for her to be healed. The whole church has prayed. My friends have prayed. I know He always hears, but still, He does not act.”

“Well, I don’t think that’s true at all. He may not act in the way you want Him to, but that doesn’t mean He does not act. Aslan very rarely ever acts in the way I want. Take the battle of Beruna for example.

“Here I was, this young boy fresh from the other place barely in Narnia a week, preparing to go to war against a Witch who had been ruling for a hundred years. Now, Aslan had planned the whole thing; He had to because I knew nothing of war. I simply followed along and nodded when appropriate. Then the morning of, He up and leaves. I was expecting Him to be there every step of the way, and instead, He leaves me to do it alone.”

Meri pinched her face in confusion. “But you weren’t alone. You had Babbo.”

Peter scoffed. “Ed was even more of a child than I was.”

“You had General Orieus by your side and all the good Narnians at your back.”

“True, but Jadis was a witch with a magical staff that turned those Narnians to stone like that.” He snapped his fingers.

“And you had Aslan!”

“Did I though? He wasn’t there remember?”

“That’s because He went to die! He gave His Own life so that Babbo could keep his. Then He rose again, conquering Death, and de-stoned all the Narnians in the Witch’s castle and brought you re-enforcements!”

“All you say is true,” Peter said calmly. “Still, He missed roughly ninety-seven percent of the battle.”

“That’s because His way…” Meri stopped suddenly, huffed, and plopped back down on the sofa. She crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what exactly?”

“That annoyingly clever thing you do in which you talk utter nonsense only to make me reach your wisdom in my own way.”

“Ed has deemed it ‘High King-ising.’”

Meri gave a faint snort. “That is only what he calls it to your face. He has a more colorful term he prefers when he and Mamma are speaking about it.”

Peter laughed. “Then I shall have to speak with him on that, but first, please share this great wisdom I was about to bestow.”

Meri huffed again. “Aslan did not work in the way you wanted because His way was better.”

Peter nodded thoughtfully. “Not bad.”

“But is it really a better way if Mamma has to die?”

Peter sighed. “I cannot say it is necessarily a better way, but it is His way. Sometimes, His greatest acts are in giving peace to those we love most, despite the pain it may cause us. He offers the same peace to us as well, but it is harder to see at the time.”

Meri wiped her eyes. “I know she is hurting, and I do not want her to suffer anymore, but I do not wish to lose her either.”

“You can’t, Topa,” Lena said softly from the doorway. Meri was startled by her appearance; Peter was not.

“Mamma! How—how long have you been there?”

“She has been standing just outside the door the entire time,” Peter replied.

Meri looked from Peter to Lena; Lena nodded. “It’s true.” Lena took a step forward. “Merina, I…I am so sorry, Topa. I didn’t stop to think how my desire to leave Narnia would be perceived by you.” She slowly moved forward some more. “But I assure you, it was never out of an eagerness to die.”

Lena closed the distance between them and took Meri’s face in her hands. She wiped the tears from her eyes and kissed the top of her head.

“But, Merina, you can never lose me. I am the glimmer in your eye. I am the tender caress in your voice. And I am the love in your heart. Whether in this world, or in our world, or in the world beyond that I will always be with you.”

Meri cried and threw her arms around Lena. Lena hugged her to her chest and kissed her head repeatedly. Peter stood and placed his hand on Lena’s shoulder.

“I will give you two a moment. Stay. Have some tea or coffee, and those biscuits really are the best in Narnia.”

Lena nodded her head. “Thank you, Peter.” Then she turned back to Meri. Peter’s hand dropped from her shoulder as he walked away. But something occurred to Lena and she called out to him.

“Peter, wait! Hang on, Meri.” Lena kissed Meri’s head again before stepping back and turning to look at Peter. “Are…are you going to tell your brother?”

Peter paused in thought. “I don’t know.”

**1958 London**

Edmund could feel his head bobbing, his eyes rolling to the back of his head, but he couldn’t stop it. Edmund fell asleep.

_He found himself on the beach, Cair Paravel in the distance, Lena wrapped in his arms as they danced to some distant tune. It had been a long while since he felt this content; he didn’t want it to end._

_ “I don’t want you to leave,” he whispered softly, desperately. _

_ She held him a little tighter. “Oh, Cuore. I’ve told you before…what we have can never end.”_

_ “Yes, I know, but I still don’t want you to go.”_

_ “I will not. You are Cuore, my heart; I will always be with you.”_

_ “Lena, I…”_

Edmund was awoken by a closing door.

“Oh, shit. Were you sleeping?” Peter asked.

Edmund nodded. “We were dancing on the beach.”

Peter swore again. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, no I don’t think I could get back there.” Edmund sat up in his chair and rubbed his eyes. “What’s that?”

“Oh, coffee. Extra caffeinated. I thought you could use it if you didn’t want to sleep.” Peter handed over a cup as he took up the seat Lucy had vacated an hour ago.

“Thanks. Ugh!” Edmund pinched his nose. “This may be worse than the hot chocolate Lena and I had at the airport one Christmas.”

“I said it was extra caffeinated, not extra good.”

“No worries.” Edmund forced down another hearty swallow. “This may be just the thing I need to keep me awake.”

Peter forced down his own coffee. “Holly sends her love.”

“Where is she?”

“At home with Stevie. He has a little cough; she didn’t want to make it worse, but she prays night and day for you.”

Edmund nodded; lip trembling slightly. “How…how is my nephew?”

Peter laughed delightfully. “He plays all day, cries all night.”

“And you love every second of it, don’t you?”

“More than anything in the world.”

Edmund smiled. “Enjoy it, Brother. Soon he will be going off to school, like Sara.”

Peter groaned. “Ugh, don’t say that.”

Edmund took another gulp of bad coffee and grimaced. “Do…do you remember our last winter in Narnia?”

Peter paused. “It’s a hard one to forget.”

There was a stretch of silence. “You knew then. Didn’t you?”

There was another stretch of silence in which Peter drank. “I…received confirmation then; I suspected beforehand.”

“But you never told me.”

“No. I didn’t.”

“Why?”

Peter sighed. “Knowing you…You would have tried to change things to keep this from happening. Lena wasn’t sure what else might change in the process. It wasn’t worth the risk for her.”

Edmund nodded as tears ran down his face.

***Translations**

Erezione: erection

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, before you hate me, I just have to say that the clues were there all along. From the very beginning of the story when we open up in 1958 London and someone saying "I'm sorry, Sir. There's nothing more we can do for her but make her as comfortable as we can. If there's anything, you and your family need, please don't hesitate to ask us." And then we had the descriptions of Lena's appearance. From Peter's perspective: she was thin, too thin. Her eyes were set into deep sockets. Her cheeks were hollow, her pale skin pulled tightly over them...Lena gave one the impression of death. Even the genre of the story is labeled as Tragedy.
> 
> So, yes, Lena is dying in 1958. I'm sorry. I'm a terrible person, I know, for doing this to my characters. But...sometimes this is what happens. And I believe this a story that needs to be told. I am fortunate to have not experienced something like this before, but to those of you who have or who are, my deepest sympathies. 
> 
> I do hope this chapter doesn't turn anyone away as things are only beginning to heat up between Edmund and Lena and there is so much of their tragic love story still to be told. New chapter should be up on Thursday...hopefully. Thanks for reading.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Lena and Meri remained in Peter’s study and finished off the tea and biscuits; Meri tried a cup of coffee, with Lena’s permission, but decided she wasn’t much of a fan of it.

“How was Sara?” Meri asked.

“I’m not sure.”

Meri pinched her face. “What do you mean?”

“I entrusted her care to King Edmund. I thought you needed me slightly more at the moment.”

Meri smiled at her mother, touched and slightly surprised that her mother had gone after her rather than attend to her sick sister. She reached for the last biscuit. “Wait; should we leave one for Uncle Peter do you think?”

“I am sure your Uncle Peter had some sent to wherever he went. But, I do think we should split it.” Lena took the biscuit and tore it in half before handing part of it to Meri and keeping the other for herself. “They are very good biscuits after all.”

“Yeb bey are,” Meri said, mouth full of biscuit.

“Don’t talk with food in your mouth, Merina,” Lena scolded lightly. Then she stood up and indicated for Meri to do the same. “Come, let’s go see how your sister fares. She probably needs more willow bark. But what do we do with this?” She pointed to the empty tray.

“Leave it; Mr. Kof will be by soon to collect it.”

“Who?”

“Mr. Kof, the housekeeper, the Faun who tends to all the residents and guests of the castle, who makes sure everyone is satisfied and has what they need or desire, who oversees the day-to-day dealings and keeps things running smoothly, he delivers your morning tea every day. _That_ Mr. Kof.”

“Oh.” Lena thought for a moment. “He’s a Faun, you say?”

“Yes. You do recall what a Faun is don’t you?”

“*Non fare il furbo con me.”

“*Mi dispiace.”

“Yes I recall what a Faun is; I just usually try to avoid them still.”

“Mamma, it’s been nearly three months.”

“I know, Topa. I know. I am trying. It took quite a while for your Babbo to get through to me as well.”

“Speaking of…” Meri linked her arm through Lena’s as they walked. It was a poor attempt to play innocent and to keep her mother from running off. Lena knew the tactic well enough. “Do you like King Edmund?”

“What sort of question is that, Meri? Of course, I like him or I would not entrust Sara to him.”

“Yes, but do you _like_ him?”

Lena sighed. “That is a complicated question.”

“I don’t think it has to be. I know he is not Babbo, but he is more like Babbo today than when we first met him. And that has me wondering…what if Babbo is only Babbo because he first met us here?”

“But we didn’t meet here first; we met in France.”

“No…_You_ met _him_ in France, and _I_ met him when he brought you home; but what if _he_ met us here first? I mean, this is real isn’t it? We are in Narnia?”

“It feels real enough.”

“I know. And the other day when I fell of Philip…”

“Wait, what?”

“…it actually hurt just a little, and you can’t get hurt in a dream, right?”

“No. Go back. You fell of off Philip? When did this happen? And why am I only hearing about it now?”

Meri sighed and rolled her eyes. “It was nothing, Mamma. Sto bene.”

“Merina.”

“It was a few days ago. I was learning bareback and I slipped.”

“What? Edmund let you ride bareback?”

“It was his suggestion.”

“What!”

“Mamma! I’m fine. It was barely even a scrape; you can’t see it now, and I got right back on and did just fine. Don’t be so *tesa, Mamma.”

“This still should not be the first I’m hearing of this, Topa.”

“I am sorry Mamma, but I knew you would make a bigger deal out of it than was necessary. My point is, we’re really here; this isn’t a dream. So, don’t you agree that this would be the first time that Babbo met us?”

“No, I don’t,” Lena said stubbornly. “He never mentioned any of this to me.”

“Well of course not, Mamma!” Meri nearly laughed. “If Babbo had told you that one day you would not only return to Narnia but return to its Golden Age thirteen hundred years _before_ you were born with both of your daughters, you would have called him a mad idiota.”

Lena snorted. “I would have used a term a bit more colorful than idiota.”

“Exactly, Mamma! He couldn’t tell you,” Meri exclaimed. “Look, Mamma, I… I just wanted to say that I think it’s ok if you do like him.”

“I can’t, Meri,” Lena said, almost sadly. “Not like that. I am married…”

“Yes! To him! And besides…he likes you.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I’m not an idiota. I’ve seen the way Babbo looks at you, and I see the way King Edmund looks at you. They are very similar if not identical. And…I know Babbo would want you to be happy.”

“Babbo would want me to be with him.”

“But you would be with him. That’s the whole point, Mamma. It’s just…a slightly younger version of him.”

“He is not that much younger. He is actually about the same age as when I married him.”

“Dio mio, Mamma! You are not even separating the two in your sentences. Why can’t you just admit that my reasoning is justified?”

Why couldn’t she? Lena couldn’t answer that right away, and she stopped to contemplate it. However, they stopped just outside Sara’s bedroom. The door was cracked as it usually was, and laughter was emanating from inside of it. This curiosity puzzled Lena; Sara’s colds usually lasted about three days.

“Do you hear that?” Lena asked.

“I do,” Meri replied.

They pushed the door open together. Sara was in the middle of the room playing with Edmund and Bea. Even stoic Nalsa seemed to be more of a participant than an observer. The fact that they were playing wasn’t shocking, but Sara’s demeanor was. She was smiling, laughing wildly, and moving about with the ease of one who wasn’t suffering from a fever and respiratory issues.

“Mamma!” she shouted gleefully, running over to Lena.

“Good morning, my sweet,” Lena said gathering in her arms. Sara provided a great hug while Lena checked her forehead. There was no sign of a fever. “How is this possible?”

“I…er—” Edmund began uneasily.

“It’s because of this,” Meri said. She was holding up a small crystal bottle. “This is Aunt Lulu’s cordial, isn’t it? The one she got from Babbo Natale? One drop of this can cure any wound.”

“It works on colds too apparently,” Edmund said.

Sara wriggled in Lena’s arms so she put her down and let her run off to play. Lena looked at Edmund.

“I know you told Lucy only as a last resort, but when I found Sara this morning her fever was back. She was awake, but she was just lying there. She wasn’t playing; she didn’t even smile or greet me when I walked in. She looked miserable and I couldn’t stand to see her like that. I might not have a choice when she gets sick in the other place, but I can do something about it here.” Edmund took in a great heaving breath at the end of his explanation.

Lena sighed. “It’s all right, Edmund; I understand. Sometimes I wish I could do the same.” She smiled softly and lay her hand on his arm. Their eyes locked and Lena found herself once more contemplating what Meri had suggested. Why couldn’t she let her feelings for King Edmund become as real as her feelings for Cuore?

**1951, A secret location in central Europe**

Lena walked alongside Edmund through the drab halls of the mobile headquarters. It was in a different place and set in a different layout every time Lena went with Edmund to check-in; Lena wasn’t sure how anyone could keep up with it. Edmund said that was the point, that there was a permanent one in London but that the mobile one had to remain, well, mobile. Such was the life of a spy.

Lena pushed all that from her mind. In just one hour she would be spy-free for two whole weeks. They had just closed a case together and now she was set to take a bit of leave. Her passage had already been booked for Sicily where she would see Meri and Caterina, after nearly two years, and not a single sleazy guy on hand. She was eagerly anticipating her departure.

“Pevensie,” a thick voice bellowed across the hall. Edmund and Lena turned to see Daniels hanging out of his office. He waved Edmund over. “And bring the dame with you.”

“He is aware that I have a name, right?” Lena asked.

“Probably,” Edmund replied, then after consideration he amended. “Possibly.” There was more consideration. “I know I’ve used it around him before, but whether or not his thick head has absorbed the information is another matter entirely. Come on, though. We better go see what he wants, and we better hurry; we wouldn’t want you to miss your flight.”

“No.” Lena returned his smile. “Certainly not.”

Daniels’ office was small and cramped. Most of the space was taken up by an obnoxious wooden desk. There was only one chair available for sitting, which Daniels indicated for Edmund to take. Edmund, however, abdicated the chair to Lena and chose to stand himself.

“Excellent work on the McGuffin case,” Daniels began looking only at Edmund.

“Thanks,” Edmund said after a slight pause; he was trying to give Daniels sufficient time to do the right thing. “But Ileana did all the work.”

“You played your part though.” Still, Daniels did not look at Lena. “Have you had a chance to look over the report?”

“You know I don’t have clearance for that,” Edmund replied diplomatically.

Daniels smiled. “Pevensie, you disappoint if you let a thing like the proper clearance level keep you from information.”

Edmund hesitated before replying. “I may have glimpsed it, purely by accident.”

“Purely, of course.” Daniels paused. “And what are your thoughts on the matter?”

Edmund’s face turned grim. “If the report is accurate, then it is grave news.”

“Ah yes. Very grave indeed.” Daniels paused again and still, he did not acknowledge Lena sitting directly across from him.

“With all respect, Sir, if you wish to discuss the report in more detail I would be happy to oblige. But Ileana doesn’t need to be present for that, and I really must see that she makes it to the airport on time.”

“Ah.” Now, Daniels finally cast a brief but wary glance towards Lena. “I’m afraid there really isn’t time for that. This matter must be resolved promptly.”

“*Che cosa?” Lena was asking in regards to this report that she had not seen, but Daniels thought she was asking about their conversation as a whole, as he believed her understanding of the English language to be a very rudimentary one.

Edmund looked at Lena. She could tell he was tense, but she wasn’t sure why. He sighed and proceeded to explain to her in Italian. “We have a rat amongst us.”

“Sì. His name is Marvin; he likes the bread I leave for him.”

Edmund smiled. “Not an actual rat. A mole. A spy.”

“We are all spies here.”

“Yes, but one of our spies is leaking information to the Soviets.”

“Oh.” Her mouth formed the shape of a little ‘o,’ then she furrowed her brows. “Do they think it is me?”

“No. We know it’s not.” Edmund at least knew it wasn’t her, but he couldn’t attest to what Daniels thought, and that unnerved him. He turned back to Daniels.

“You are right; this does need to be resolved quickly. So, let me take her to the airport and then you and I can sit down and devise a plan to catch the rat.” He placed his hand on the back of Lena’s chair to help her stand.

“A plan has already been put in motion,” Daniels replied.

“Excellent. Then you can inform us of it when she returns in two weeks.”

Daniels did not respond but merely looked at Edmund in a way that said ‘sit down, you’re not going anywhere.’ Technically, Edmund and Daniels held the same rank of Supervisory Agent, but Daniels was considered the Senior Agent because he’d been with the division longer. Edmund had to reluctantly concede to Daniels’ authority. He looked at Lena, silently communicating his apologies; she sat back down but her eyes flittered to the clock on the wall.

“We have a lead,” Daniels began, once more only addressing Edmund. “A Polkovnik has pertinent information pertaining to the leak. We need her to extract it.” His eyes briefly fell on Lena.

“Sì. I egg-tract. I always egg-tract,” Lena said keeping her accent thick and heavy. “In two week.” She stood to leave, turning towards Edmund. He wanted to let her go, but couldn’t.

“The same simple song and dance routine won’t work with the Polkovnik,” Daniels continued. “He will require more persuasion.”

“How much more?” Edmund asked grudgingly.

“Substantially so.”

Edmund did not like the way Daniels let his eyes hover over and linger on certain areas of Lena’s body.

“No,” he said firmly. “Out of the question.”

“That’s really not your call, Pevensie.”

“We are not in the business of making occasioni and trades like that.” Edmund made sure he used a term Lena was familiar with so she knew exactly what Daniels was requesting. Her eyes widened at the word.

“We will not rent her out for a night for a little information. We will find it another way,” Edmund continued.

“It’s already done, Pevensie. This is the job. If you cannot see to it, then you will be removed as her handler ad we will give her to Jackson.”

“Jackson is reckless. He will get one or both of them killed.”

“Then your hands will finally be free.”

Edmund’s face turned to stone.

“It’s one night. A girl like her should be used to it by now.”

“Che cosa? Girl like me!” Lena turned to Edmund then and ranted in Italian with the occasional slip into Telmarine. “Girl like me? No! No, I won’t do it. I won’t make occasioni with this rat. If he wants the information so much, then he can make occasioni with rats. Not I.”

“Ileana…Ileana, I know.” Edmund had to speak loud enough in order to speak over her. “I know. You won’t. I won’t allow it. We’ll find some other way. Let me handle it, please.”

Lena calmed down slightly and Edmund turned to look furiously at Daniels.

“The answer is no. There must be another…”

“I’ve already told you, Pevensie, it is done. If you cannot oversee it then you will be removed, and any refusal to cooperate with this investigation will be seen as an act of admission.”

“Admission?” Edmund pulled back.

“All monies and personal effects will be confiscated, forthwith.”

“What? No. That money is for my sister,” Lena said.

Daniels grinned cruelly. “And now she speaks without the accent.” Lena's eyes went wide as she glanced at Edmund. She was angry and she had slipped.

“I knew there was more to you. And we can drop the sister act, Doll. We know what the girl is to you. If you have lain with men before you will do it again, or forfeit our protection and be tried as a traitor to the crown,” Daniels continued. “And lover-boy here will go down with you.”

Lena turned back to Daniels, eyes clouded, limbs trembling with anger, and she spoke in Italian.

“Men are all the same in any world. F@&*ing pigs with no honor.” Then she stormed out.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Oh!” Daniels raised his voice to call out after her. “And the party is this weekend, so pack your bags. You fly out in the morning! Pevensie,” he stopped Edmund at the door. “This is why you don’t get involved with your assets.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations
> 
> Non fare il furbo con me: Don’t be smart with me
> 
> Mi dispiace: I’m sorry
> 
> Tesa: uptight
> 
> Che cosa: What?


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

**1951, Somewhere in Central Europe**

“Ileana. Ileana, please. Ileana.” Edmund chased after Lena through the streets. She was fast and angry; she didn’t care who she bumped into or pushed out of her way. Edmund tried to be more apologetic about it and it slowed him down, but eventually he caught up to her.

“Lena, please…”

“*Lasciami.” She shoved off his arm.

“No, Lena, please look at me.” She allowed him to gently turn her around. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know.” He wiped away her tears and leaned his forehead against hers. “I didn’t know.”

She cried softly as she leaned into him.

“You don’t have to do this. I don’t care what Daniels says; we’ll…we’ll leave.” Even as he said it, Edmund knew leaving would never work.

“And go where? They know about Meri. They’ll be waiting for me. There is no escape.”

“I’ll…I’ll protect you.”

“Protect me? As the best swordsman in Narnia?”

“Yes.”

Lena pulled back. “But we’re not in Narnia. You are not a king in this world; your life would be forfeit same as mine.” She huffed and looked off to the side. “Even in this world my life is not my own. I will never be free of what they made me. Once a puttana, always a puttana.”

“You are not a puttana,” he said adamantly, stepping forward. “You are the strongest person I know. You are absolutely amazing, stunningly beautiful, and you are…”

“Without choice,” she finished for him. “You can see that, can’t you? They have me trapped; I have no choice. I must do as requested or else…” Her voiced faded. “They executed traitors in Narnia, beheading them, shaming them and their family.”

“I know,” Edmund replied gravely.

Tears came back to her eyes. “I cannot do that to Meri. I…I will have to make occasioni with him. But you…” She stepped away once more. “You should not be there. I do not think I want you to see me like that.”

“It doesn’t matter,” he said, once more stepping forward and closing the distance between them. “My life is forfeit without you, Lena. I go where you go. I will not leave you to them. Promesso.”

**Later that day**

“Pete? Peter, are you there?”

“Yeah, Ed, I’m here.” The line was fuzzy and it was difficult to hear. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, I’ve messed up.” Edmund’s voice cracked as he looked at Lena across the small pub. She was sitting alone at their table, waiting for him to return, and nursing a pint of ale between her fits of tears; she had just called Caterina to inform Meri that she would not be coming home just yet.

“I’m sure it’s not half as bad as you think it is,” Peter reasoned. “But tell me anyways.”

Edmund knew the line he was on wasn’t secure, so he told his brother, his confidant, his High King, everything that had transpired in the last hour using as few words as he could. Peter understood well.

“I must have changed something somewhere, and quite royally messed it up.”

“You say she admitted to flirting, dancing, and permitting the unseemly groping hand?”

“Yes, but she swore she never laid with them. And now…”

“And now she still has not laid with them,” Peter said calmly. “I believe in you, Ed. I believe you will still find a way around this, but you must believe it as well. Trust in Aslan; He will not let you down.”

The line clicked suddenly and turned to static.

“Peter? Peter?”

It was no use; the call was dropped. Edmund placed the receiver back on the hook. He looked back at Lena and prayed.

“Aslan, please show me the way. Help me protect her.” He felt rather than heard a gentle purring in his chest that said, _Trust. _“I will,” he whispered. “I do. Always.”

Edmund took a deep breath and made his way back to the table. Lena did not look up at him even as he slid her pint closer and took a hearty drink from it. He reached for her hand.

“You won’t have to go through with it,” he said. She tried to pull her hand back. “No, Lena please, look at me.”

Finally her eyes looked up; they were broken, and hollow, and red around the edges.

“You won’t have to go through with it. I will tear the place apart. I will turn over every leaf, search under every stone until we have the information we need. And then we will get out of there. You will not have to make occasioni with the Polkovnik.”

“And what if we fail?” she asked quietly.

“Failure isn’t an option. I swear it to you. Just please, trust me.”

There was a pause. Then she nodded. “I do. I do trust you.”

**Narnia**

Christmas morning dawned with a fresh blanket of snow and Sara jumping onto Lena’s bed.

“Mamma! Mamma! It’s Chris’mas! Time to wake up!” Lena groaned and tried to continue sleeping but Sara crawled under the covers with her. She placed her hands on both sides of Lena’s face and leaned in very close.

“Ma-mma,” she drew out. “It’s Chris’mas.”

Lena mimicked Sara’s actions. “Sarina, mi amore…” She smiled. “What are we doing in bed then?”

Lena started tickling Sara mercilessly. She squirmed and squealed with laughter until they were both out of breath and lying in a rumpled heap on the bed.

“All right, come one. Let’s get up,” Lena said with only mild reluctance; her covers had been quite warm and she’d had a rather pleasant—but possibly slightly inappropriate dream about King Edmund, and it wasn’t her first one.

Sara scrambled from the bed and danced about the room singing the refrain of _Jingle Bells_ as Lena dressed. With all of Sara’s uncontained excitement over Christmas morning, Lena was concerned about the fallout that would occur when they made it downstairs and Sara saw that there was not a tree with presents stuffed beneath it. Sara, however, didn’t even seem to notice the lack of tree; she ran straight to Edmund’s arms. Lena smiled and bit back tears.

There may not have been a tree _stuffed_ with presents, but there were presents. After sharing a family breakfast together, there was a small gift exchange. Sara got a new dress and some toys from Susan, Lucy and Peter. Edmund had given her a play sword that Lena wasn’t too thrilled about but Sara was so in love with it, Lena couldn’t deny her the bit of happiness it brought.

“A Princess needs a popper sord, Mamma, to fight de Pirate King,” she said.

Meri had also received a dress, a few books, and a lute.

“You’ll have to play for us once you learn how,” Peter said. Even as he spoke Meri was already picking out a few chords.

Lena looked to Edmund and he nodded. “All right, there’s one last gift, but we have to go outside first.”

They all put on thick cloaks and made for a nearby terrace. On cue, Mr. Koff brought around the corner Meri and Sara’s final gifts: a mare as white as the surrounding snow, and a pony with golden hair.

“A pony!” Sara squealed as she clapped her hands in delight.

“Careful, Love, you don’t want to frighten him,” Susan said, taking Sara’s hand and leading her over.

“She’s beautiful,” Meri said in awe as she walked to her own gift.

“There are conditions,” Lena said.

“Conditions?” Meri turned around. “What sort of conditions?”

“Daughter of a King or not, no daughter of mine is going to be a spoiled Princess. You will be responsible for her. You will feed her, groom her, and muck out her stalls at least twice a week—granted, it should be done more often than that, but you will have to personally do it at least twice.” Lena looked towards Edmund. That had been something they disagreed on; Lena thought it should be everyday but Edmund said some days it might be impossible with the daily duties in the way. So, they made a compromise.

“That’s…acceptable. What’s her name?”

“She’s waiting on you to name her.”

“Mine’s named Sugar,” Sara said gleefully. “Because he likes sugar.” She squealed as his lips tickled her hand, where Lena assumed she had just fed him a lump of sugar.

“I think…” Meri gently brushed her hand over the mare’s white coat. “Bianca.” The horse whinnied and turned its head towards Meri. “You like that, do you?”

While the girls acquainted themselves with their gifts, Edmund moved in closer to Lena.

“They’ll be fine,” he said. “Meri has shown exceptional skill. Philip says she is ready to be on her own.”

“And you trust him? I don’t mean…” Lena sighed. “It’s just, it will be different, I imagine, being on non-talking horse if something goes wrong…?”

“Yes. It will be different, but Meri knows what to do. She can handle it.”

“And Sara? She hasn’t had a single lesson.”

“But she will. When it gets warmer. And that’s why we went with the old pony. He’s gentle enough for young children.”

Lena nodded but she still wasn’t entirely at ease. Edmund ran a hand across the back of her shoulders and drew her in close so that her head rested on his shoulder. It showed a mild intimacy that neither acknowledged. It was interrupted by the distant jingle of bells and Lucy’s excited gasp.

“Peter! Susan! Do you think it’s him?”

“Who?” Meri asked. “What’s going on?”

“That’s what I’d like to know,” Lena said softly.

“Come on!” Lucy said excitedly as she led the way out of the terrace and through the adjoining garden, looking very much like a little girl on Christmas morning herself rather than the Queen she was.

“What?”

“Come on; we best follow her. If she’s right about this, and she usually is, you’re going to have to see for yourself,” Edmund said.

Susan had already helped Sara down and they were following after Lucy. Lena and Edmund went after Meri and Peter. They wound their way through the gardens following the sound of bells until they came out onto the castle grounds. Sitting in the snow was a large wooden sled being led by no less than eight reindeer. A man in thick winter robes and long gray hair stood by the sled; Lucy was hugging him.

“Queen Lucy, it’s great to see you as well,” the man said with a jolly laugh.

Sara squealed excitedly again. “Babbo Natale? Is it really you?”

“Indeed it is, my Princess.” The man gave a little bow. Sara ran forward to hug him just as Lucy had done.

“Merry Christmas, Sir,” Meri said stepping forward slowly.

“Merry Christmas, Princess Merina.” He bowed again.

Lena leaned in towards Edmund with a smile and whispered. “Don’t you think this is a bit much, Ed. You didn’t have to do this.”

“Do what? I had nothing to do with this.”

Lena looked at him skeptically. “Well, it doesn’t seem like something Susan would do.”

“She didn’t.” Edmund laughed. “We didn’t ask him to come; we never know when he’s going to stop by for a visit. He just does. I think he’s here for the three of you this time.”

“Mamma! Mamma! Look! It’s Babbo Natale!” Sara shouted as she took Lena’s hand and pulled her to the front with Meri. Lena smiled politely.

“Merry Christmas, Sir.”

“Buon Natale, Signora Ileana.” The man took Lena’s hand and kissed the back of it.

Lena had to admit the man was good. He certainly looked the part of Babbo Natale, from his round belly to his beard. He even had an overstuffed bag in the back of his sled. Whichever Pevensie had put this together, Lena would have to thank them later; Sara was ecstatic.

“Now, I think a few gifts are in order, don’t you agree, Princess Sarina?”

“If you think so, Babbo Natale,” Sara replied. Lena wasn’t sure how much more excitement Sara could express.

The man pulled out the large bag and set in the snow before them. Lena saw a wide assortment of gifts and toys tucked inside; he must have been really dedicated to this role. He rummaged through it a bit before bringing out a pony-sized saddle. He set the saddle in the snow before Sara.

“For you and Sugar,” he said. _Wait. How did he know the pony’s name already?_ “This saddle will not let you fall; something I’m sure your Mamma will be pleased to hear.” He glanced up at Lena with a knowing smile. “And because no little Princess can ever have enough of these…” He pulled out a doll and a toy horse, who, strangely, looked a good deal like Sara and Sugar.

Sara gasped. “Thank you, Babbo Natale.” She hugged the doll and horse to her chest.

He turned his attention to Meri next. “And for you, Princess Merina, I give riding leathers crafted by the finest Narnian leather makers. Comfortable and impenetrable, no blade can pierce them.”

“Blade? Why would she need to worry about a blade?” Lena said. Then the man pulled out a short thin sword.

“Unbelievable,” Lena muttered disapprovingly.

“I leave you with the same warning I left the High King,” he continued. Meri and Lena both looked over at Peter. “This is a weapon, not a toy. May it serve you well.”

“I understand, Babbo Natale,” Meri said in a very solemn voice. Lena noticed something different about her daughter then, a maturity that hadn’t been there only seconds before. It was like she had grown in the blink of an eye and she was no longer a child. Lena didn’t like it.

“Look, _Sir_, this is all very generous of you and I’m sure you mean well, but I don’t know what you _think_ my daughter is going to be doing exactly, but I assure you she will not need a sword like that.”

The man had the gall to take her hands again. He, at least, looked sympathetic. “My Dear Ileana, you who lost your childhood too soon now desperately crave that your daughters retain theirs. And I pray that they may.” Then he embraced her and whispered in her ear.

The rest of the day was spent building snow castles, toppling said castles with snow balls, warming hands with hot chocolate and bodies by the fire, and then going back outside to do it all over again. Meri and Sara of course both wanted to ride Bianca and Sugar. Peter put Sara up on her new saddle and walked around with her. Lena was worried about Sara spending too much time in the cold air, but she never displayed any signs of a cough or labored breathing. That night, Sara fell asleep on Peter’s lap. So instead of potentially waking her by passing her off, he and Meri offered to take her to bed.

“Are you sure?” Lena whispered. “Perhaps I should go as well.”

“No, Mamma. We can handle this. Besides, Uncle Peter needs the practice.”

And they were gone. Susan and Lucy followed soon after.

“Hey, Lu, remember you said you were going to help me with that thing?”

“What thing?”

“That very important thing we needed to discuss.” Susan’s eyes flicked briefly towards Edmund and Lena. Lucy’s gaze followed.

“Oh! Oh, right! Yeah, I’m coming. So sorry I forgot about _that_. How could I forget about that?”

Susan had the grace not to roll her eyes as she and Lucy left.

“Why do I get the feeling we’re being set up?” Lena asked.

“Because my sisters are rubbish at covert operations,” Edmund replied as he handed Lena a glass of wine.

“Lucy is too genuinely sweet to be deceptive. Susan, however…” Lena let her voice drift away as she winked and took a sip. She looked around at the quiet and empty parlor. Even Nalsa was further away then she usually was. “So, your siblings and by the looks of it the castle staff have conspired to get us alone.”

“So it would seem,” he repeated.

“Whatever shall we do about it?”

Edmund grinned and held out his hand. “Take a walk with me?”

Lena took his hand and allowed him to pull her up. Then she looped her arm through his as they walked the halls slowly. Nalsa remained at a distance and the castle staff remained scarce. Lena was beginning to suspect a deeper conspiracy, but as she tightened her hold on Edmund’s arm and he smiled at her, she wasn’t going to complain.

“So,” she began taking a sip of wine. “The girls are in bed now; you can be candid with me. Who was that man earlier? Where did you find him? Does he live on one of the islands?”

Edmund laughed and answered her questions one at a time. “I don’t actually know where he lives. We didn’t find him; like I said, he usually just finds us. He was Father Christmas, or as you call him Babbo Natale.”

“Ed,” she said skeptically.

“Lena, you are in a world where Fauns are common place, Trees walk, and good Beasts talk. You were actually born in this world, thirteen hundred years from now, and yet you traveled here from a different world entirely. But the fact that Father Christmas is real is beyond your scope of belief?”

Lena sighed. He had a point, she supposed, and when did they start using nicknames exactly? “A girl has her limits, I guess.”

He smiled. “Look, I know you’re not thrilled with Meri’s gifts…”

“Couldn’t she have gotten a doll that looks like her and Bianca?”

“Bu on their first visit Lucy got a healing cordial and a dagger, Susan got a bow and horn, and Peter got a sword and shield,” Edmund continued.

“So, you’re saying Babbo Natale is a *pazzo with a history of giving children dangerous weapons?”

“I’m saying he’s more saint than pazzo and he has a way of giving us exactly what we need.”

“But Meri…”

“Meri, like with anything she does has some skill with the sword already. And with my continued instruction she may well become the second best swordsperson in Narnia. And I imagine you would rather have her well trained than not at all.”

“I would rather she not have to worry about something like that in the first place,” Lena replied a little testily. Edmund pulled away slightly and looked hurt. “But,” she sighed and reached for him. “I am glad you’re here to instruct her. Your instruction was invaluable in the field, and I know you wish for her safety as much as I.” Edmund smiled again.

They came to the end of a hall where a large window led out to a balcony. They stopped to watch the snow fall, but it was dark and too cold to step outside. They turned back. Edmund stopped them about halfway.

“I have a confession to make,” he said as he withdrew his arm from Lena’s.

“Oh? And what is that?”

“I had a small part to play in the sudden elusiveness of the local Narnians.”

Lena grinned. “You were in on the conspiracy.”

“Not a conspiracy. The sudden elusiveness of the…oh all right, the conspiracy,” he amended upon Lena’s gaze. Then he pulled something out of his pocket. “I, ah, I got you something…for Christmas.”

Lena wanted to tease him, but she saw how nervous he suddenly was. “Thanks, Edmund. But you know you didn’t have to do that, right?”

“Yeah, I know,” he nodded. “I…I just wanted to.”

Lena traded him her glass for the box. She untied the string, slid the wrappings off, and opened the lid with soft click. Lying on a bed of velveteen cloth was a bracelet woven in gold. At its core there lay a pearl more luminescent than any she’d ever seen. She gasped.

“Oh, Ed…”

“Do you like it? If—if it’s too much or inappropriate, I can…”

“It’s stunning and don’t you dare take it back,” she interrupted his nervous ranting.

He sighed in visible relief. “Oh, good. I’m really glad you like it.”

“This must have cost a fortune.”

“Not at all actually. Sara and I found the pearl one day on the beach. Pirate’s treasure.”

“Oh, of course.”

“She said I had to give it to the Pirate Princess.”

Lena bit back the sudden rush of tears. “She said that? She remembered that?”

Edmund nodded. “So I had it woven into this bracelet, Dwarven made, but I told her I wasn’t sure who the Pirate Princess was. She said…”

“‘The Pirate Princess falls in love with the Pirate King,’” Lena finished for him. “Silly, Eddie, how did you not know that?”

“Yes well…” he laughed; it was a nervous laugh though. “Would you like me to clip it on for you?”

“Yes please.”

Lena held out her wrist in askance. After setting the cup down, Edmund stepped in closer to her. His fingers worked deftly to clasp the bracelet about her wrist. Even after he was done he held her hand within his. Then he kissed the back of her knuckles softly. Lena closed her eyes at the touch.

_“I cannot give you a gift greater than the one you’ve already been given,” Babbo Natale whispered softly in Lena’s ear so that only she could hear. “Time. Try not to waste what little remains.”_

While Edmund still held the one hand, Lena used the other to draw his lips to hers. She kissed him. He returned the kiss with a tender hesitance.

“I have no gift to give in return,” she said softly. “I’d offer you my heart, but it is already yours. Now and always.”

“Then there could be nothing for which I would ask.”

She smiled and drew him in for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations  
Lasciami: leave me  
Pazzo: madman
> 
> Eeep! First kiss! (Sort of...for Edmund at least. This whole time travel thing...sheesh.) I do hope it didn't disappoint. But hmm...what does this mean for them now? Guess you'll have to wait and see. Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: The contents of this chapter warrant a more mature rating for suggestive sexual content, and mild descriptions of abuse and violence.

**Chapter 15**

So this was what contentment felt like. Pure, utter, unequivocal contentment and very thorough satisfaction. He was in a woman’s bed. Not just any woman though. _The_ woman. The only woman that mattered as far as he was concerned. His Sisters notwithstanding of course, or his daughters for they were still girls who needed protecting—his daughters not his Sisters; his Sisters could protect themselves and any boy, man, or king who thought otherwise was an idiota.

To make his contentment and satisfaction even more complete, Lena was still with him _in bed_. She was snuggled up to his side, eyes half-closed, and fingers drawing lazy patterns on his _still bare_ chest. And judging by her soft mewling, really he could think of no other way to describe it, she was feeling as unequivocally content and as thoroughly satisfied as he was. An acknowledgment that made him swell with pride.

He had done that. He. Him. He alone. No one else. At least…he believed he was the only one; she had never mentioned anyone else. He knew what the Telmarines did to her, but that didn’t count; _that_ wasn’t her choice. And he knew of the marks they worked together for the crown, but she claimed to have never slept with any of them. What about in between the two? Had there been anyone then?

Lena moaned and stretched, her back arching and her bare leg sliding over his. Edmund decided it really didn’t matter if there had been anyone else. No one could ever love her or satisfy her as thoroughly as he could and as he would for the rest of his days. He put his finger and his thumb on her chin and gently tilted her lips up to meet his. He simply loved how she curled into the kiss.

She was ginning as though she knew a secret that he did not when she pulled back. “Former lovers huh?”

The confusion came first, quickly followed by mortification. That was certainly not a phrase any man wanted to hear after a night of what he thought to be very passionate and very ardent lovemaking. He ran his free hand over his face; his other hand was wrapped around her _still bare_ waist.

“Was it that obvious?”

Lena shrugged casually. “When you’ve been with men like I have, you learn to tell the difference between a man’s first and his tenth.”

He felt a stab of, what exactly? Jealousy? Irritation? Just how many men had she been with before him? He pushed it aside as irrelevant and instead chose to focus on another pressing matter. He’d been caught in a lie and he needed to own up to it.

“Yes. I lied. I’m sorry. Can you forgive my deception?”

Lena smiled and kissed his chest. “It’s forgiven. And in all honesty, apart from our duel, you never boasted of other lovers. I just assumed.”

There was no stopping the grin that spread across his face. “That good at it am I?”

She groaned. “A conceited you is not the you I like best.”

He tugged her closer. “Then I shall strive to remain humble.”

“Hmm, you may strive,” she said pulling her bottom lip between her teeth as he ran his hand down her _still bare_ spine. “But you will fail splendidly… especially after a night like tonight.”

To his utter delight, she rolled on top of him giving him a most spectacular view. His hands fell to her hips. She leaned down to claim his lips in a kiss, her chest sliding over his.

“And we have many nights like tonight,” she purred. “I think I’d like to amend my statement from earlier. I do like a conceited you best, but only when you are in bed with me.”

“Well then…” he tugged her hips forward and was very pleased with the little gasp of pleasure she gave. “I will aim to please you.”

The words barely left his mouth before her lips latched onto his once more.

**1951, District of Kursk Oblast, USSR**

_Wrong_

_Would it be wrong to kiss_

_Seeing I feel like this_

_Would it be wrong to try_

Lena’s sultry alto voice blended perfectly with the piano. From the moment she arrived at the party, she had the full attention of the Polkovnik and she made sure only he had her attention. When she sang, she locked eyes with him and sang only to him. When she danced, she danced only with him. She accepted drinks only from him; she smiled only for him.

_Wrong_

_Would it be wrong to stay_

_Here in your arms this way_

_Under this starry sky_

Little King was around somewhere trying to dig for information, find out what he could before Lena had to… but Lena pretended that she was alone. She had to; it was the only way she could get through this. She knew one look at Little King and her resolve would crumble.

_If it is wrong_

_Then why were you sent to me_

_Why am I content to be_

_With you forever…_

Meri. She was doing this for Meri. She had to remind herself of that. She did this so that one day Meri wouldn’t have to.

_So_

_When I need you so much_

_And I have waited so long_

_It must be right_

_It can’t be wrong_

Lena left the performance area with the assistance of the Polkovnik. She placed her hand in his and allowed him to sweep her into another dance as the piano carried on without her. She paid no mind as the Polovnik’s hand came to rest low on the curve of her back. Instead, she let her hand curl at the base of his neck and she toyed with the tender skin there.

He spoke no French and she no Russian—or so he thought—but his eyes said all he needed to say. He wanted her; she could feel just how much while they danced. _Not just yet_, she thought. Little King needed more time. Perhaps there was still a chance…

Instead, she allowed the Polkovnik to pull her away from the party where she gave him a private concert. She sang softly in his ear; her ruby lips barely brushing the skin. His hands took full advantage of their private setting, sliding and gliding over the red satin of her dress as it followed every curve of her body. Her hair had been curled and gathered to one side in an intricate braid, so his lips could easily find the exposed skin of her neck. His fingers dipped to the sensitive flesh found in the low V of her neckline.

She permitted him his fun for a moment and then she pulled back. She wiped the lip stain from his mouth and led him back to the party where she took another glass of wine and they shared another dance.

She tried, oh she tried to glean the information from him; all she needed was a name. But the Polkovnik was not a talker, neither to her nor to his comrades. He wanted only one thing from her, and she began to doubt that he would give her anything in return. Normally, this would be when she would seek out Little King and give the signal that the mission was a flop. But when she looked for him, she could not find him, and the Polkovnik did not like her attention straying from him. He pulled her roughly against his body and forcefully turned her chin so she looked into his eyes.

“Eet ees time,” he said.

With one nod to a comrade, the party began to disperse. Words of farewell, few they were, were exchanged, belongings were gathered, and a leaden knot began to form in Lena’s stomach. The musicians all left. The drinks were put away. Even Lena’s own unfinished wine was taken from her hands as the Polkovnik began to lead her upstairs, his hand slowly tightening around her wrist. The staircase seemed to climb for miles, each step more difficult to take than the one before.

Meri. Meri. She was doing this for Meri. She was doing this to give Meri the life she deserved, a life better than the one she was forced into, a life where she would never have to know the cruelties of men, even if that was a life without her.

When they reached the landing, the Polkovnik opened the first door on the right. Lena caught a glimpse of a large bed opposite the door; she looked away and down the mile-long staircase. At first she could not see him, but Little King was there. His hands were fisted at his side, his knuckles white with strain. His eyes, dark and heavy, were guilt-ridden. Lena saw the look for what it was, an apology.

_I’m sorry. I failed._

Lena met his gaze and tried to send an apology of her own. “Andrà tutto bene,” she whispered.

The Polkovnik grabbed her wrist and pulled her inside the room. The door closed behind her and he pushed her against it. His lips attacking hers more vigorously than they had before. Lena struggled to catch her breath, her heart pounding in her chest. Finally, she managed to twist out of his arms and put a few steps between them.

“*Attendez, s’il vous plaît.”

“No,” the Polkovnik replied with a guttural cry. “You weel give me vat I vas promised.”

He grabbed her arms and pulled her to him, kissing her forcefully once more. Lena tried to be compliant; she tried to force all thought away. She tried to remember why she was doing this, but all she saw was the look on Little King’s face. It brought bitter tears to her eyes. She broke free once more.

“No, no I can’t. *Mi dispiace. S’il vous plaît. Nyet.” She mixed her languages, hoping to gain some ground between them.

The Polkovnik did not relent. He grabbed her by the hair and slammed her into the wall behind him. She cried out, her head ringing with pain. The Polkovnik threatened more violence as he grabbed the hem of her dress and began to tear it creating a split up the center. His hand dug into her thigh.

Lena continued to fight and struggle against him. She hit and she scratched at whatever she could reach. She didn’t know why she fought so hard, she never had before. _“You did what you had to in order to survive,”_ Little King’s words echoed in her mind. Could she survive this way? Could she survive if she was compliant? Was surviving the same thing as living?

Lena managed to get a good scratch across his face, her nails digging up flesh and drawing blood. The Polkovnik cried out and released his hold on her. The reprieve was short-lived. Lena took a step towards the door but the Polkovnik grabbed her arm and spun her around. Then he slapped her so hard she fell to the floor while a metallic taste filled her mouth. The Polkovnik loomed over her, straight fury on his face. He pulled an ornamental dagger from his waistband, and Lena knew the fight was over.

The door opened with a bang behind her.

“Vat is dis?” the Polkovnik asked.

Someone moved behind Lena, she didn’t dare turn her eyes from the Polkovnik to see who; they helped her to her feet. The Polkovnik issued a string of Russian curses that Lena couldn’t comprehend. Lena’s helper stepped up beside her and she finally saw who it was.

Little King stood before her, looking more righteously vengeful and more Kingly than she had ever seen him before. He had a cut above his eye that looked to be swelling before her, a busted lip, and his clothes were torn and askew. He looked as though there were a hundred things he wanted to say to her, but he only had time for one.

“*Correre.”

Then he lightly pushed her towards the door while he turned and lunged at the Polkovnik’s waist tackling him to the ground. Little King sprung back onto his feet.

“Go!” he ordered, not looking away from the Polkovnik. Lena ran.

She tumbled out of the room and down the stairs. Her torn dress dragging behind her and tangling around her feet. She tripped and tumbled down the last few steps. Any pain she should have felt was numbed by the adrenaline racing through her body and driving her forward. The house had a very different feel now. It was quiet, eerily quiet. As Lena made her way into the front sitting room she saw why.

The furniture had all been upturned. Lamps had been knocked over. There had been a struggle down here as well; she wondered why. Lena saw the first body as she rounded the corner. She cried out and jumped back, tripping over her dress again. But the body did not move; its lifeless eyes stared at nothing.

Heart racing and hands shaking, Lena struggled to regain her feet. She found the second body near the first; she turned away, unable to look at them and unable to progress to the front door. She looked for another way out. Above her, she could still hear the fight raging on. She stumbled in her efforts to walk; somewhere somehow her heel had broken.

She made her way into the kitchen, having recalled seeing a door to a back terrace there. The third and fourth bodies were there too, however. Lena fell down behind the table and cried, overwhelmed and frightened by it all.

As she sat there, the pain began to creep in, withering its way in like a snake. She knew sitting was a bad idea, but she was too afraid to move. She could hear the distant thuds of bodies hitting a solid object as the fight continued upstairs, and she wondered how much longer Little King would last. She had once thought him to be a fighter greater than any other, the best swordsman in Narnia, but how much greater must the Polkovnik be if the fight still continued?

It was only then that Lena realized how great a fighter Little King must truly be. For while she had been resisting the Polkovnik alone, Little King had taken on at least four different enemies and defeated them. And _still,_ he fought the Polkovnik. Lena didn’t have to ask why he would fight so hard; she already knew the answer.

Her.

It was because of her. Little King fought for her as fiercely as he ever had. He fought for her when he recruited her, when she was too blind and too frightened to see it. He fought for her with Daniels, when Daniels didn’t believe she was the right choice. And he fought for her now when her—for lack of a better word—honor was stake. And Lena knew, without question or doubt, that Little King, no, that Edmund Pevensie would die for her, and after already having faced at least four other skilled combatants, he likely would.

Lena looked at the floor across from her, where her handbag lay. It had fallen from its hook during the fight. Its contents lay spilled on the floor: a tube of ruby-red lip stain, a bottle of perfume, surprisingly still intact, a pack of _Woodbine_ cigarettes, and her small, but sharp knife. It wouldn’t be much, but the best swordsman in Narnia wouldn’t need much.

Lena pulled the knife from its protective covering and cut away the trailing part of her dress first; it would do no good if she tripped going up the stairs. Then, she kicked off her broken-heeled shoes—a woman couldn’t be expected to run in those things—and began the long trek up the stairs again; the sounds of fighting became louder.

There was a loud bang that Lena swore shook the whole house. She flung herself against the wall. From the room above her, she could hear the taunting voice of the Polkovnik. She couldn’t decipher every word, but she caught a few: fight, futile, dead, whore. Lena could hear nothing from Little King. The Polkovnik’s words rang in her ears. Dead. Dead. Dead.

If Little King was dead, then she would be next. Only, she knew her death would not come swiftly, but she would go down fighting the same as he.

Lena continued her silent trek up the stairs. When she reached the landing, the door was still open and the Polkovnik had his back towards it; he didn’t see her standing there with the knife in hand.

_“You have a good eye and good aim. Trust in that, and you will not miss,”_ Little King’s words from training played through her mind.

Lena knew going straight for flesh would be her easiest way in, and the only bit of flesh she saw on the Polkovnik, was the tender flesh at the nape of the neck. She adjusted her grip on the knife, took in a steadying breath, and then swiftly and silently struck.

At first, nothing much happened other than the Polkovnik stopped talking. Then a thin trickle of blood began to pool around the blade. The Polkovnik put his hands to his throat. There was a soft thud as his gun dropped to the floor. Then he dropped to his knees. This gave Lena more leverage. She placed her other hand on the pommel of the knife and pushed the blade further in. The Polkovnik began to gurgle and blood dripped from his mouth. When he turned his eyes to look up at her, they were wide with shock and fear. As his body fell to the floor, Lena pulled the knife from his neck; his blood splattered across her face, covered her hands, and pooled at her feet.

Even after the life had left his eyes, Lena continued to stare at the Polkovnik. Though her hands were shaking, she held the knife poised and ready to strike him again. She would not let him take her. She would not let him win.

She slowly became aware of a strange murmuring sound. There was something vaguely familiar about it. As though it were from a distant world or another life.

“Ileana? Ileana?”

She looked away from the Polkovnik and saw Little King. He looked to be in far worse shape than the last time she saw him. The cut above his eye was bigger, definitely swelling, and still bleeding. He had blood trickling from his ear as well. And he was looking right at her, arms stretched out towards her. She blinked. He was talking to her. He was alive!

“Ileana, put the knife down. It’s all right now. Put the knife down.”

_Knife? What knife?_ She followed the direction of his eyes to her hands. There was a bloody knife in them, and there was a dead body at her feet. She jumped, startled, dropped the knife, and stumbled back blinking out of her daze. Little King stepped over the body and came to her, gently touching her arms.

“Ileana? We need to leave.” He spoke louder than was necessary, nearly shouting; Lena didn’t know why.

Lena nodded and allowed him to lead her out of the room. He descended the stairs first, frequently looking over his shoulder at her to make sure she was still there even though his hand never left hers. They stopped by a room Lena hadn’t seen during the party where Little King picked up a pack of papers and shoved them in his satchel. Then they turned for the front door. Lena froze when she saw the bodies again.

“It’s all right, Lena; we have to keep moving.”

“Someone will find them. They will know it was us. They’ll find us.” She sounded delirious even to her own ears.

“Good thinking.” Little King didn’t seem to mind her deliriousness. He looked around. “This way.”

He pulled her into the kitchen. He left her standing at the table while he went to the stove. He fumbled with all the knobs and a faint hissing sound emerged. He looked around again.

“We need a light, something to make a spark.”

Meanwhile, Lena picked up her bag and all its contents from the floor. She absentmindedly reached for a cigarette and lighter. It was only after she put the cigarette to her lips that she noticed Little King looking at her.

“Sorry. I forget you don’t like this.” She went to put it out.

“Wait, tonight it will work.”

He walked over with a slight grimace on his face and a limp in his step. He held out his hand in askance. Lena handed over the cigarette and watched as he too placed it to his lips. He took a drag with the ease of one who was not unfamiliar with smoking, but he made a face as he exhaled.

“I don’t see what anyone gets from this.” He passed the cigarette back.

Lena shrugged. “I suppose not everyone does.” She took one more drag before handing it back to him. He did the same, then he set it down on the table, still lit.

“Come on, we need to leave.”

He took her hand once more and led her back to the front door. She carefully stepped around the bodies as he pulled a set of keys from his pocket and they stepped out into the crisp night air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations  
Attendez s’il vous plaît: wait, please  
Mi dispiace. S’il vous plaît. Nyet: I’m sorry. Please. No. (Italian/French/Russian)  
Correre: run
> 
> Originally, this chapter was going to be much longer with their escape from the USSR tied in, but that had to be cut. So it will follow in its own chapter.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**1951, District of Kursk Oblast, USSR**

Lena stumbled across the rocky drive with nothing but her stockings to cover her feet. Edmund led her to a dark colored Renault and helped her inside before heading around to the driver’s seat. He backed out slowly, being unable to turn his body without causing great pain to himself, but he managed to put good distance between them and the house before the explosion happened.

Lena jumped and turned around in her seat. “Merda! They’ve found the house. They’ll find us. You have to drive faster.”

Edmund didn’t respond. Lena fell back in her seat and looked at him frantically. “Go! You must hurry.” At last he looked over at her.

“What?” he asked loudly. “Sorry, I…I can’t hear very well in this ear right now.” He put his finger up to touch to his right ear; when he pulled it back, there was blood on his finger tip.

“The house,” Lena pointed behind them. “They blew it up.”

“It wasn’t them.”

“What do you mean it wasn’t them? Then who was it?”

“It was us. We did that,” he said at the same time.

“What? No. How?”

He looked at her as best he could with his one good eye, the other was now completely swollen shut.

“Gas,” he began, “is very flammable, meaning it catches fire with the smallest flame. I turned on all the gas at the stove and we left the cigarette burning on the counter. Eventually, the room filled with enough gas vapor and the air caught fire.”

“The air caught fire?”

Edmund nodded, not a wise choice as the motion sent a wave of pain blazing through his body which he tried to conceal. “And that fire ignited the whole gas tank, leading to the explosion.”

“We blew up the house…” Lena repeated softly.

She leaned back against the seat. She went to run her fingers through her hair but froze when she saw her red hands. Her breathing became labored as flashes of the Polkovnik flittered through her mind and her head began to ring. ‘_You weel give me vat I vas promised.’_ _He grabbed her hair and slammed_ _her into the wall. There was a bloody knife in her hands. A dead body at her feet. His hand dug into her thigh._

“Ileana. Ileana?”

Lena jumped and screamed a little at the sudden sensation of a hand on her leg. Edmund pulled his hand away quickly. Even in the dim lighting he could see the fear in Lena’s wide eyes.

“God, Lena, I… I’m so…”

“Don’t,” she said looking away from him. “Not tonight.”

“But, I…”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she said sharply. “Just drive. Get us out of here.” She rubbed her hands down the front of her dress and refused to look at him anymore.

Edmund did as requested. He drove through the darkness. He drove through the pain. He drove through the ringing in his ear. And he drove until his muscles became stiff with his ever present failure. He had sworn to protect her; ‘_failure isn’t an option’_, he had promised. She trusted him and he failed her. He didn’t think he’d ever live this down.

“Pull over,” Lena said. Edmund didn’t hear her so she lightly laid her hand on his arm. “Pull over.”

“Why?” He brushed at his eye.

“I will drive.”

“No, I…I’m fine.”

“Edmund, you are swerving. Pull over.”

“I…” He grimaced as pain soared through his chest. “All right,” he relented. “We should change cars any way.”

He drove about another five kilometers before pulling off to a service station. The station lot was empty save for the one attendant, the lighting was poor, and the bath house was detached from the main building. Lena took Edmund’s arm before leaving the car.

“I need to pee.”

Edmund looked around them. He couldn’t see anyone following them, but he didn’t want to take the chance. So he walked with Lena over to the house.

“I’ll wait here,” he said.

“What about the car?”

“We’ll do it after.”

“It will save time if you go now.”

“I won’t leave you.”

Lena appreciated the sentiment, but knew they shouldn’t linger long. “Andrà tutto bene.”

Edmund was hesitant to let her out of his sight, but she was persistent. “Lock the door then. Don’t come out, and don’t let anyone in until I return. I won’t be long.”

The room inside was small with only a single toilet, a pedestal sink, a small square mirror, and a very unpleasant odor. Lena almost left immediately, but then she caught sight of her reflection. Her mascara had run down her cheeks. Her lip stain was smeared around her mouth. Her intricate braid was now little more than a tangled knot. And the same blood that stained her hands spotted her face. She promptly bent over the toilet and spewed the contents of her stomach. She was about to wipe her mouth with her hand but she saw the blood again and spewed some more.

It took a few dry heaves for the nausea to pass. When it did Lena moved back to the sink. She scrubbed her hands with the bar of soap that was provided. She scrubbed until they turned raw. Then she did the same to her face. She wiped away every sign and smear of makeup, she even tidied up her hair, but it wasn’t enough to forget what happened. The Polkovnik’s words echoed in her head. His touch vibrated throughout her body until she felt sick again. She wanted to scrub every inch of skin that he had touched. She wanted to scream. She wanted to cry, only the knock on the door interrupted her.

The voice on the other side spoke Russian and Lena’s heart jumped to her throat. She grabbed the sink to keep the room from spinning. It was them. They found her. Why had she sent Little King away? He had insisted on staying together; why didn’t she listen to him? The voice spoke again. Lena felt like her head would implode with pressure. She could barely see through the tears, let alone respond.

Another voice answered the first. “Sorry. Sorry, that’s my *zhena in there.” His voice was muffled through the door but she would recognize it anywhere. Little King was back. “She, ah, how do you say—doesn’t speak Russian—*ne govorit po russki.” Little King struggled more than he had to; he was much better at speaking Russian than Lena was.

“*Vasha zhena?”

“Da. My zhena.” There was a tap on the door. “Love? Are you just about finished in there?” Little King asked. His voice was clearer as he leaned against the door. His gentle timbre was calm and soothing; it eased Lena’s panic. “You’re beautiful, Love, truly. Now why don’t we give this good man his bathhouse back again and resume our trip?”

There was a pause before Edmund tapped on the door again, softer this time. He said, “Ileana, it’s all right. He’s gone. You can come out now.”

Lena slowly opened the door and poked her head out. The attendant was indeed gone. She stepped out and looked at Edmund. He had acquired a fedora somewhere to hide his eye, but even still Lena could see the swollen purple mass. She ran a shaking hand down her side.

“Your zhena?” she asked hiding the quiver in her voice.

Edmund shrugged. “It worked, didn’t it?”

“Then let’s go…*muzh.”

Lena took the driver’s seat without any complaints from Edmund. A short ways down the road they passed a car lot where Lena saw the Renault they’d been driving sitting next to an empty spot Lena assumed the Buick they were now in once occupied. Of course, the car lot was closed when Edmund made the trade.

“What’s that?” Lena asked as Edmund pulled out a bottle from the pocket in the door.

“Vodka. It was sitting on the desk at the lot, and I thought I needed it more than the empty room at the moment.” He took a long swig straight from the bottle.

“Hand it here.” Lena didn’t much like the taste of vodka, but she preferred it to the taste of sick. She handed the bottle back after taking a long swish and drove on.

She drove for several hours. When Edmund grew silent and began to doze off she roused him from his sleep. “Tell me a story,” she said.

“A story? What kind of story?”

“I don’t care. Tell me about Narnia, if you wish, just don’t fall asleep on me.” Lena didn’t want to be alone with her thoughts where the Polkovnik could slip back in.

“Narnia, huh? All right.” He paused a moment to get his thoughts in line. “There was a boy called Eustace Clarence Scrubb, and he almost deserved it. …”

Edmund’s tale of his voyage on a vessel called the _Dawn Treader_, carried them through the rest of their journey, or at least until Lena could drive no more. It was now in the very early morning hours and Lena pulled up to the office of a small hotel. Edmund was in no shape to walk in and request a room, so Lena did it. She used his jacket to cover up the bloodied and torn dress she still wore, and fortunately, the counter was too high for the clerk to see her bare feet; she had removed her stockings a few hours ago. Lena didn’t think twice when the desk clerk said there was only one room available. After her panic at the service station, Lena didn’t want to be left alone. She drove around to the room and helped Edmund inside.

“*Sedere,” she instructed pointing to a chair. Edmund was too tired and in too much pain to refuse as he stumbled over.

While Lena had taken the time at their last stop to clean up a bit, Edmund had done very little in regards to treating his wounds apart from drinking half of the vodka. Lena realized she’d have to do it for him. She found a small decorative basin in the room. She emptied the contents onto the floor and filled the basin with water. She grabbed towels from the bathroom and made her way back to where Edmund sat. Then she began to scrub the dried blood from his face.

He pulled away. “Wha’ you doing?”

“What does it look like? I’m trying to treat your wounds.”

“I’s fine.” He slurred his words slightly.

“It is not fine,” Lena said adamantly. “Now sit still, shut up, and let me work.” Edmund said nothing as Lena resumed her work. She took care to be less aggressive than she had been with her own face.

“I don’t like the look of this eye,” she said after a while. She had cleaned it the best she could with the water and towel and the light rubbing had caused it to bleed again. “I think it might need to be stitched.”

“I didn’t know you were a field medic as well.”

“If I was a field medic I would have insisted on seeing to this earlier.”

“I think putting enough distance between us and them took precedence. Do you even know how to stich?”

“All Telmarine women know how to stich. It was a requirement at the House of Labugia, right alongside how to please a man in bed.”

Edmund laughed until he realized that Lena wasn’t. He looked at her. Due to her careful ministrations they were much closer than they normally would be. He could smell the vodka on her breath, and the sweet perfume she always wore. His breath hitched in his throat.

“Sorry. Have you ever stitched a wound before?” he asked.

“On a man? No. But I stitched a cat once.”

“A cat? When did you have a cat?”

“It wasn’t mine. It came to me one night, early on after I’d taken up residence at the castle…after my first occasioni. Mind you, I didn’t much like cats; my father had one that was a nasty vermin, but this one…I don’t know. There was something different about this one. I remember thinking it must have gotten into Lady Gianny’s perfumes because it had a sweet fragrance about it, and its fur was soft. It stayed with me through the night, but it was gone by morning. It came back though.”

“How often did He return?”

“After every occasioni. One night he had gotten into a fight though; it was badly injured. So I took my needle and thread and I stitched him up. I used the glass of wine I had with my dinner to sterilize the wound.”

“I am glad He was with you then.”

Lena pulled back and looked at him. “It was only a cat, Edmund.”

“Are you certain of that?”

“Well it wasn’t a dog.”

Edmund smiled and laughed softly. “If you think my eye needs stitches, then I trust you to do it.”

“We will need to sterilize it first, and we have no wine here.” She looked at the vodka bottle sitting on the floor.

“Oh…” Edmund cursed rather profoundly. “Can I at least have a bit more before you do?”

Lena looked around. There were two cups sitting by the sink. She divided the contents of the bottle into each of them and left just enough for one last shot in the bottle. Then she pulled the clip from her hair and handed it to Edmund.

“Can you get this pin out?” she asked. While he worked on that, she attended to the frayed hem of her dress and carefully picked a long thread from it. She dropped the needle into one glass and held the other one out for Edmund.

“What are you doing?”

“Taking off my belt. I’ll use it as bite guard,” he replied. Then he took the offered cup and gave cheers before downing its contents.

Lena carefully and slowly poured the alcohol over the cut; Edmund only squirmed a little. The worst of it came when she began her stitch work. She tried to move swiftly but precisely as she had always been very proud of her needle work. The thread was just long enough for her to tie a small knot at the end. She used one of Edmund’s throwing knives to cut off the excess.

“There. It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

Edmund glared at her. When he removed the belt there were visible indentions.

“Oh, fine. Take this then.” She handed him the last of the vodka and he drank swiftly.

“I…I should inspect your ribs as well,” she said, a wave of awkwardness coming over her. Lena didn’t understand why she felt so strange. She had seen plenty of men’s chests, as well as _other_ body parts usually concealed. Still, she could feel the heat rising to her cheeks.

“My ribs?” he asked, his voice a little higher than normal.

“You are having difficulty breathing, yes? Then I should inspect them to make sure they aren’t broken.”

Edmund grinned. “If you want me to take my clothes off, you need but ask.” If her impromptu stitch-work did nothing else, it sobered Edmund up enough to return to his usual, playfully-cocky-self.

Lena could not meet his gaze as she instructed him to remove his shirt. “*Togliti la camicia.”

Edmund could not wipe away his grin as he began to unbutton. Lena kept her eyes averted, but when she heard him struggling she couldn’t help but look. He was having a rough time getting his arm through the sleeve; so, she tried to help him. Her hands brushing over the bareness of his skin sent a rush of flames to her cheeks and made her breath catch in her throat. She swallowed it back down and removed her hands.

“That should be enough,” she said.

Edmund sat with his shirt on but unbuttoned; his chest exposed to her. She could already see the discoloration of the skin where bruises were forming. For a moment she just stared, and fortunately for her Edmund chose to remain quiet in that moment. Then she gathered her wits, slipped into a mask of nonchalance, and bent down on her knees.

“Tell me if it hurts terribly,” she said as her fingers began to roam over his chest.

Edmund was not sure if he’d be able to say anything. It had been so long since he’d felt her hands on his bare skin, he was sure his voice would betray him if he tried to speak. His body was currently trying to betray him and he had to fight _that_ off. But then she found a rather tender spot; he hissed rather than spoke.

“Sorry,” she said.

“I know. Continuare,” he said through his teeth.

Her fingers pressed with a gentle firmness across the tender spot while Edmund held his breath. “Well, I don’t think it’s broken. If it is, it’s not a large break. But it will be sore for several days, and you should refrain from any extraneous movement.”

“Too bad we don’t have Lucy’s cordial on us.”

“What?”

“Lucy, my sister, she had a magic healing cordial. A single drop would cure any injury; works great on the common cold and sea-sickness too.”

“A magic healing cordial?” Lena asked skeptically.

“Not in this world, of course. She had it in Narnia. It was a gift from Babbo Natale.”

“Now I know you’re teasing. Babbo Natale isn’t real. He’s a children’s’ fantasy.”

“Don’t let Lucy hear you say that. And just because you’ve never seen him, doesn’t mean he isn’t real.”

Edmund didn’t mind that Lena had kept her hands on his chest after her examination, and she seemed unaware that she had. When her fingers found an old but not forgotten scar, her brow pinched in confusion.

“That is curtesy of the White Witch’s wand.”

“The White Witch? I thought you said her wand turned things to stone.”

“It did, until I broke it. She didn’t really like that, so she stabbed me with it.”

Lena’s fingers continued to run over the scar as she studied it. Judging by the length and positon of it, Edmund shouldn’t have survived the stabbing. “How are you not dead?”

Edmund grinned. “Because I had a drop of Lucy’s magic healing cordial.”

Lena looked up at him. She wanted to accuse him of trying to tease her again, but she saw that he was being completely serious. Lena saw something else in his eyes as well: a longing, a desire for her. She had seen it on occasion before, and she had felt it in the way he kissed her in Vienna, but she always chose to ignore it. Now, for some reason, she could not. More accurately, she didn’t want to ignore it.

Instead of removing her hands from his chest, as she knew she should, they slid around his waist and she leaned up to kiss him. It was soft and gentle; her lips hovered above his afterward. She looked up into his eye and held her breath. A second passed. Then he drew in a deep breath and kissed her back.

He smelled like vodka and blood, but he tasted like the sweetest wine. Lena wanted more, needed more of him. She crawled on to his lap while his hands let loose her braid and tangled in her hair. Her hands ran down his arms pushing his shirt off. Then they ran gently over his chest, and across his back. Anywhere she could touch skin she touched and tasted. Still, it wasn’t enough.

Lena had the button on his trousers un-done before she was consciously aware of the action. Edmund pulled back with a jolt and grabbed her wrists before her hands ventured too far.

“What…” He swallowed roughly and began again. “What are you doing?”

Lena wasn’t sure what he meant. They were kissing; it seemed obvious enough to her. Then she noticed a few oddities to his person: his tousled hair, the flare of desire in his eye, the frequent rise and fall of his chest, the positioning of their hands, the button on his trousers. She felt heat rise from her naval to her cheeks.

“I…I’m not sure,” she said.

Edmund closed his eye and nodded his head, leaning away from her as much as he could. “It’s… It’s all right. It’s nothing that can’t be undone.” He released her wrists.

Lena studied him carefully. Though she was sitting on his lap still, dress hiked high around her thighs, he seemed to be trying his hardest not to touch her, an impressive feat really considering how close they were. Lena wondered why. She knew she hadn’t misinterpreted all the looks he’d given her; she’d seen it so many times from so many men. He wanted her, desired her, so why would he stop her when they got so close? Why was he pulling away from her now? And why did that hurt?

“Why did you come upstairs?” she asked.

He opened his eye slowly and looked at her. “What?”

“Why did you come upstairs? Why did you fight him?”

“I think you know why,” he replied after a pause. He was still leaning away from her, trying to keep his distance.

“Because I am your asset.”

“No, Ileana. You are much more than an asset to me.”

“Because you…desire me for yourself.”

There was another pause and when Edmund replied this time, there was an unusual edge to his voice. “If that is all you have gotten from me, then I have been a very poor Knight indeed.” He tried to move her off of his lap but she resisted.

“It’s not,” she said quickly. “It’s not all, but it’s…It’s all I can give you tonight.” She placed his hands on her hips and rocked forward slightly. “I can give you this, but I do not think I can give you all that you want. Girls like me, Edmund, aren’t meant for things like that.”

“Girls like you?” he asked incredulously. “Do you mean girls as clever as you? Or girls as funny as you? Perhaps you meant as strong as you? As good, or as kind and gentle as you? As determined, or dedicated, or loyal as you? As talented as you? As deserving as you? As loved as you?”

“Loved?”

“Loved,” he repeated. “Loved by your daughter, loved by Caterina, loved by…by a cat you once stitched back to health who was more than just a cat, and loved by…by me, if only you’d let me.”

Lena blinked away her tears as she leaned forward to kiss him again. This kiss was different, more tame but with no less passion. Her hands cupped his face, and his brushed the tears from her eyes. Slowly it grew into a desperate sort of hunger that could only be satisfied by one thing.

When her hands resumed their work from before, Edmund did not stop her. The transition was easy and they didn’t leave the chair until long after they were through. When they moved to the bed it was without the burden of clothes, and Lena could barely keep her eyes open as she curled into his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations
> 
> Zhena: wife  
Ne govorit po russki: No speak Russian  
Vasha zhena: your wife  
Muzh: husband  
Sedere: Sit  
Togliti la camicia: take off your shirt


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Narnia**

The next morning, Meri went about her daily routine with the Dryad that usually helped her. She knew it was a day like any other and that she really shouldn’t feel any different, but she did. She knew why too. Babbo Natale had both called and treated her like a Princess. Her own babbo had called her a Princess all her life, so had her Aunts and Uncle even Caterina had called her Princess. But there was something about Babbo Natale, an outsider, someone she didn’t know, calling her a Princess that seemed to mean more.

Now, living in Cair Paravel with a Dryad acting as her Lady in Waiting, Meri actually felt like a princess. She wanted to speak to someone about it. Her mother would have been ideal, but Meri didn’t know how she would have responded to King Edmund’s gift and she really didn’t want to bother her or speak to her if she rejected it for some silly reason. And it was as equally possible that her mother would have rejected the gift as it was that she would have accepted it. Not knowing which of the two her mother had done, it was best to leave her be for now.

“Maybe Aunt Lulu is available?” Meri whispered to herself.

“What was that?” the Dryad asked.

“Oh. Nothing. Actually, do you know where Queen Lucy is?”

“I think she is at breakfast, my Lady.”

Meri smiled. “Thank you, Friend, for your assistance this morning. You did lovely work. I’m off to find Queen Lucy now.”

The Dryad curtsied as Meri left her room.

“Good morning, Kou,” she greeted the guard outside her door. Unlike Sara who only ever had Bea guarding her as the Hound refused to let anyone else do it, Meri had a rotating stream of guards. Today it was Kou, the white Tiger. Meri would never claim to have a favorite, but she did enjoy Kou’s company the most.

“Good morning, Princess Meri.” Kou was also one of the few Narnians who had always insisted on calling her Princess—Jagar and Nalsa were the other two.

Meri smiled. “You really don’t have to call me Princess, you know. I’m just Meri.”

“You are King Edmund’s daughter. Daughters of Kings are called Princess,” Kou replied.

“He is right. You should learn to listen to your Guard more, Princess,” Nalsa said.

Kou nodded his head in thanks to the Wolf.

“Wait. Nalsa? What are you doing down the guest’s quarters?” Meri asked.

“I am guarding my King,” the Wolf said with what could only be described as a wolfish grin.

“What’s Edmund doing in Mamma’s rooms this early?” Meri asked without thinking it through. Once she did, however, she wished she hadn’t. “Oh. _Oh._” Her faced pinched.

“Yes. King Edmund has mated with Lady Ileana. Finally.”

“Princess Meri, you are distressed. Has this news upset you?” Kou asked.

“No. No, I’m not upset. It’s just…” She paused to find the right words in order to properly describe what she felt as a human to a couple of Narnians. “I told Mamma I was fine with the idea of her fancying King Edmund because he’s Babbo in our time and _I am_. Fine, I mean. I am fine with it. I just… I didn’t expect _this_ exactly.”

“Expect what? Mating?” Nalsa asked.

“Why would you not expect them to mate, Princess? Mating is natural amongst a bonded pair,” Kou added.

“Yes. I’ve been suggesting to King Edmund that he mate with Lady Ileana for weeks now.”

“Ugh. Please, *fermare,” Meri said. “I do not want to hear the words mating, King Edmund, or Lady Ileana or any variant thereof in the same sentence again or in any adjacent sentences.”

“Do you not wish for them to…?” Nalsa purposefully left the word out but her meaning was clear enough.

“I simply do not wish to talk about it, or hear about it, or even think about it. We humans tend to overlook and ignore the fact that our parents once…_mated_...” Meri cringed, “…in order to make us.”

“But that makes no sense. How else would you have been made?”

“That’s not the point.”

A door opened behind Meri and Sara came bounding out with Bea close behind. Kou took a few steps back so as to not be crowded in the hall. Sara spotted Nalsa immediately and threw her arms around the Wolf’s neck in a hug. It was a testament to how fond Nalsa had become of Sara in that she showed no outward sign of disproval or discomfort at the sense of familiarity. Sara then turned to hug her sister.

“Bea says Eddie is in wit’ Mamma. Can we go wake ‘em together?”

“No,” Meri said quickly. “Why don’t we let Mamma have a little lie in this morning, while you and I have breakfast together? We haven’t had much time for just the two of us lately. You’ve been spending all your time with Eddie.” She took Sara’s hand and began leading her away from their mother’s room.

“That’s because he’s fun to play wit’.”

“And am I not anymore?”

Sara shrugged and giggled. “You’ve become all growd up.”

Meri huffed. “Well, I don’t think I want to be grown-up at all this morning. I’m going to ask for extra maple on my toast.”

Sara’s eyes went wide with delight. “Can I have some too?”

Meri smiled mischievously. “We’ll have to hurry before Mamma can stop us. And maybe, after breakfast, we can go see Bianca and Sugar.” Sara’s excited squeal could be heard halfway down the hall.

**XXX**

Lena woke slowly. She took note of the arm tucked beneath her head and of the other wrapped around her bare waist. She could feel Edmund’s bare chest against her back and the warmth of his breath on her neck, among _other_ things. But unlike the last time, she was not startled by this and in fact wholly content with it.

She rolled softly in his arms until she was facing him. He moaned and pulled her closer as though she was trying to escape. She stretched up to kiss his chin.

“Good morning,” she whispered.

His hand slid along her backside and down her the back of her thigh before coming back up to rest in the dip of her hip.

“Is it morning already?” he murmured.

“’‘Fraid so.”

She let her hands glide along his body now, feeling every familiar scar and noticing a few that were missing. She longed to linger in bed and explore more fully the details she had missed in her desperation to be with him again, but from the hushed voices outside her door, she knew their daughters were up. It would only be a matter of time before Sara tried to come crawling in bed with them. It would be best if they had clothes on at that point.

Edmund had other ideas. “We could make this a great morning.”

His hands roamed once more as his lips found that tender spot on her neck; he was a quick study and Lena was tempted to give in. The voices outside the door had faded. The girls had left, but Lena knew they’d be back. She gently pushed Edmund off, rolled over, and sat up.

“We can’t.”

“Says who?”

Lena threw her legs over the side of the bed and stretched. He crawled over to nibble at her hip before leaving a trail of kisses up her side. He turned her mouth towards his when he finally reached it. He was a _very_ quick study. Lena reluctantly pulled away.

“Edmund, we really can’t do this now.”

“I still haven’t heard a valid reason as to why not.”

He actually managed to pull her back down on the bed when he kissed her that time. And it was much harder for her to pull away.

“The girls are up. Meri has managed to distract Sara for now, but that will not last and we don’t want her running in here in our current state.”

Edmund propped himself up on one arm, accentuating some of his features. Lena couldn’t stop her eyes from following the curve of his chest down to where the sheets still covered his lower half.

“Nalsa will keep her out until we are decent.”

Lena snorted in a very un-ladylike manner. “I am sorry to be the one to tell you, but your Guard has become soft where it concerns Sarina.”

“I heard that,” Nalsa said from the other side of the door.

“But can you deny it?” Lena asked.

There was a low grumbling growl but no rebuttal. Edmund laughed and Lena tossed him his trousers and shirt.

“You will have to make the walk in those, I’m afraid. I have nothing here that will fit you properly.” Lena pulled her own dress on quickly, knowing that he would procrastinate more unless she was dressed.

“Or, I could just be Narnian about it,” he said.

“What does that mean?”

Edmund grinned. Then he made a great show of throwing the bed coverings off of him. He left his clothes on the bed and made his way to the door, stark naked.

“Edmund, you can’t!” Lena exclaimed realizing what he was about to do.

“Can’t I?” His hand was on the handle and he cracked the door open. Lena rushed to push it closed.

“You have daughters in this castle. Young daughters. Going Narnian around them would be highly inappropriate.”

Edmund released the door and instead pinned Lena against it with his body. “I was never intending to go Narnian for the sole sake of our daughters. I just wanted you within reach again.”

He kissed her fervently, pulling her back and onto the bed where she straddled his lap. He had the ties of her dress undone before she knew what was happening, and the dress halfway off before she managed to wheedle her way out.

“You are never going to make this any easier, are you?”

“Not if I can help it.”

Lena bit her lip and laid her head on his shoulder. “Trust me, if we got started again now I wouldn’t be finished with you by the time Sara came running through that door. And I really don’t want to explain to her the sort of adventure that Mamma gets to go on with Eddie that she doesn’t.”

Edmund sighed and nodded. “But we will get to finish this adventure later?”

“Oh yes.” Lena smiled. “We have many, _many_ more adventures to go on.”

He nodded again and kissed her forehead. He gently lifted her off his lap and made for the door.

“Ed.”

“Hmm?”

“Your clothes.”

“Oh. Right.” He dressed in a hurry and gave her one more quick kiss before leaving.

**1951, Somewhere in Eastern Europe**

Lena stared in the steam-clouded mirror at her blood-splattered face, her blood-stained hands, and her silken dress torn and smeared with blood.

She blinked and wiped a hand across the mirror.

Her face wasn’t splattered with blood. Her hands weren’t blood-stained, they were just raw from scrubbing. And she wasn’t wearing a silken dress that was torn and smeared; she was wearing a towel.

Had it really only been twenty-two hours since they fled the Polkovnik’s residence? Had it been so short a time since the Polkovnik’s hands had been on her? She turned to view the bruises he’d left behind. They were an ugly blackish-blue. There was another one on the inside of her thigh that hurt when she walked; Little King hadn’t noticed that one yet.

The knock on the door made her jump. “Lena? Are you all right?” Edmund asked.

_All right? No. She wasn’t all right. How could she be all right?_

“Yes. I’m fine,” she lied. “I’ll be out in just a moment.”

She looked around. She didn’t have anything to wear except the clothes Little King had picked up for her that morning. She never asked how he got them exactly; money was tight. The trousers were a little big but comfortable. The blouse was a perfect fit. She slipped into them easily and left the bathroom.

Lena grabbed the complimentary comb from the table just outside the bathroom door. This hotel was much nicer than the one they’d been in that morning, but still, all they had was a comb not a brush and that was the one thing Little King hadn’t thought to acquire. Lena would have to do her best to work through her tangle of wet hair with nothing but a comb.

Little King stood by the bed, his papers spread before him, and his back towards the bathroom door and Lena. She didn’t mean to let her eyes linger on his backside, but she couldn’t seem to help it._ Had his trousers always been that fitted around the buttocks?_ He looked over his shoulder at her and she quickly looked down at her hair, pretending to be fixated on the knot that was there. She was furious with her cheeks for turning red and betraying her.

It had just been sex. Granted, it was rather good sex. At least, she supposed that’s what good sex felt like; she’d never actually felt anything that intense before. And surely he didn’t really mean what he’d said; though, she’d never known him to say something he didn’t mean. She was very confused by it all. She wondered if he’d want to have sex again that night and if he did, would she let him? She might get more clarity in her feelings if she did let him, but then, if he said those words again would that give her clarity or just confuse her more? She really didn’t know what to think and she was beginning to feel a mild jabbing pain behind her eye. Wine would alleviate the pain, but they had no wine.

Lena jumped when Edmund gently touched her arm.

“Sorry.” He quickly removed his hand and stepped back. “I’m sorry. Oh, I’m so sorry, Lena. I…”

“Fermare. Please.” Lena did not want to hear him apologize for something that wasn’t his fault. And she didn’t like seeing that guilty look on his face either. She’d much rather see the look he’d had in the early hours of the morning when he…

Something turned and twisted in Lena’s stomach at the thought. She shoved it aside and walked past him.

“What’s all this?” she asked.

Edmund closed his eye and pinched the bridge of his nose, an action he instantly regretted. There were many things he regretted lately. Principally among them were drinking a bottle of vodka with a head wound, and failing to protect Lena the way he should have. He’d been too slow, too careful, and too blind to keep the Polkovnik’s hands off of her. As a result, she had to do something she never should have had to do. She had to kill. He also regretted sleeping with Lena not once but twice within the last twenty-four hours, and only because he’d done so while under the influence of a bottle of vodka and with bruised, potentially broken ribs and he couldn’t fully devote his full care and attention to worship her body and her mind the way she deserved. They had yet to talk about what they did last night…or that morning. And had he really told her he loved her?

“Edmund?”

Lena called Edmund’s name louder and laid her hand on his arm when he didn’t respond to her question. He looked up at her and saw the fear that was still plainly evident in her eyes. She didn’t need a self-pitying fool right now, or a love-sick boy. She needed someone she could rely on, now more than ever. He shoved all other thoughts aside and joined her at the bedside.

“This is everything I could find at the house. I was hoping to find something I might have missed.”

“And have you?”

“No,” he said regrettably, once more feeling like a failure. He ran a hand through his hair.

“And no wonder. How can anyone read this? It’s all symbols and strange lines.” She picked up a paper to examine it more closely.

“It’s Cyrillic.”

“Another language?”

“Of a sort. It’s the same language different alphabet. Not every language uses the same Latin-based alphabet we do.”

She set the paper back on the bed. “This world is so much bigger than I ever thought possible.”

Edmund didn’t say anything. What could he have said? Nothing would make the world seem smaller or less frightening. There was nothing he could say or do that would ease the tension he saw building in her shoulders. Well, maybe there was one thing he could do, but now was not the time for that. Later. Later there could be more, much more, a lifetime of more…

If he hadn’t screwed that up. If his failures didn’t prevent that from happening.

“What does this mean?” She had picked up another page and was studying it. “This symbol is repeated several times.”

Edmund banished the thoughts of _more_ from his mind and moved in closer. “That? Oh, that doesn’t mean anything. It’s a stray mark.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Because I’ve seen it before.”

“Where?”

“On the…” she paused, swallowed, and began again. “On the Polkovnik. He had this right behind his ear. I remember thinking it was a very odd place to have a scar.”

“You’re certain?”

“I nibbled on his ear enough for it to ingrain on my brain,” she said with more disgust than bitterness.

Edmund had to shove aside his own disgust and anger as an image came to mind of Lena’s body pressed against the Polkovnik’s while his hands roamed her body freely. Lena had thought they’d been alone for their private concerts, but Edmund had been there; he was always there and he saw everything.

He stepped forward some more and picked up a few pages himself. His eyes quickly scanned the documents. Lena was right; that symbol was everywhere. More specifically it was everywhere the document made a reference to a particular person.

“Brilliant, Lena. I think these markings are meant to represent the Polkovnik. And this document outlines an exchange.”

“What sort of exchange?”

“I can’t work that out yet. It goes back and forth several times though, between the Polkovnik and this other person I can’t identify.”

“The rat?”

Edmund looked up from the papers and fixed his eyes on her. “Possibly. Probably. They keep arguing over the value of the exchange.”

“And they put it in writing?” she asked skeptically, and for good reason.

“The Polkovnik did at least. They probably didn’t want to chance a phone call or a face-to-face meeting.”

Edmund went back to pouring over the papers on the bed with new vigor trying to connect this new bit of information with the old. Lena went back to combing through her hair. She took a seat away from the bed and watched him work absentmindedly. The top few buttons of his shirt were open and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. She could see his arms flex slightly as he picked up two pages and scanned them again with his one eye; the other was still swollen shut but already looking much better than it had that morning when she stitched it.

He set one page down and reached for another, but he reached too aggressively. He winced and held his side. Lena decided she disliked the look of pain almost as much as she disliked the guilt. She’d definitely much rather see the look she saw only ten hours ago before they left the hotel. She found herself wondering how many other women had brought that look on.

She had to concede that he was attractive. She’d be an idiota not to. She had seen how the eyes of other women followed him around the room. She saw how they smiled a little brighter when he spoke to them. She knew their touch lingered a little longer than was necessary. But he never reciprocated, at least, never when he was around her. Still, Lena knew that morning hadn’t been his first. He’d been too confident in his movements, too sure of his touches.

Lena couldn’t fathom why that irked her so much. He’d clearly not been the first man she’d lain with, even if he was the first one to make her enjoy it and wish for more. _Did she wish for more?_ She’d never remember all their names, but she’d never forget their faces. It’s what she did; it’s all she did. If only she’d done her job with the Polkovnik then Little King wouldn’t be hurting like he was.

Lena didn’t know she was crying until it was too late. Edmund was already kneeling before her telling her everything would be all right, that she was safe, and that nothing and no one would touch her again so long he was there to protect her. He made promises he shouldn’t have made. And he apologized for things that weren’t his fault.

“I should have given him what he wanted.”

“No. I never should have let it get that far.”

“‘You will give me what I was promised.’”

“What?”

“That’s what he kept saying. ‘You will give me what I was promised.’ I should have given it to him.”

“No. You didn’t promise him anything.”

“I did,” she cried. “With my dancing and my kissing I promised him something I couldn’t deliver. I kept thinking about Meri and what she would think of me if I did. And I… I just couldn’t. I couldn’t make occasioni with him.”

“No, you…”

Whatever he was about to say, Edmund didn’t say it. Instead, he pulled back and stared at her strangely.

“You… it was you,” he said.

“What?”

He ran a hand through his hair and turned towards the bed. Lena understood.

“No! No, it wasn’t me.” She jumped to her feet. “I swear, I’ve never seen him before. It’s not me. I didn’t do it; I’m not a rat,” she cried in Italian.

Edmund turned back to her and took her face in his hands.

“No. No, you misunderstood.” He leaned his forehead against hers. “You were the exchange.”

“But I never…”

“Listen to me, Lena.” He pulled back to look her in the eye. “The Polkovnik made an exchange for you.”

She sniffled, trying to collect herself. _Her? But how? Why? What for?_ She didn’t know she’d spoken aloud until Edmund answered.

“For me.”

“What do you mean?”

“Those other men,” he said slowly, the pieces falling together so clearly now. “The ones I dispatched, they were the Polkovnik’s men. They came in uniform when everyone else was in suit and tie, and they arrived just before the party ended. I thought it curious, but I brushed it off thinking they were simply late; I was focused on trying to find something useful before…But I was never going to find the rat there; I was never meant to find him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“The Polkovnik’s men were there for me. They came to kill me while he…”

“But how could they have known?” she asked. “Did the rat tell them?”

Edmund nodded. “Yes.”

“But how? Who else knew besides you, me and Dan…?”

“Daniels,” Edmund finished her trailing thought. “Daniels was the only other person who knew of the operation. We kept it small, contained.”

“But then…”

Lena felt the air escaping her. If Daniels was the rat, then how could they ever be safe? He knew where they would go.

“We’re not safe here,” Edmund said, seeming to have read her thoughts. “We need to keep moving. We need to get to London. I’ll drive.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Translations  
Fermare: stop


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoo-wee, it's been a while. Sorry for the delay. I had a big life change-buying my first house! So there was a lot of packing up and moving and settling into the new place. Then there was Christmas, which is always chaotic at work for me. Fortunately, MY new house, has my own personal writing space where I come to you from now. Yay!
> 
> Good news and Bad news. I have theoretically mapped out the rest of this story and we are looking at 25-27 chapters. So...yay for an end-in-sight so hopefully the writing will pick up and flow easily, but boo for an end-in-sight because who ever really wants a story to end?
> 
> No more delaying this chapter now. Hope you enjoy!

**Chapter 18**

**Narnia**

The soft snow of Christmas turned to hard ice in a few weeks. While the others suffered cold linens at night, Lena and Edmund found ways to keep her bed warm. There were no secrets kept in Cair Paravel, unless they pertained to matters of security, so everyone knew of Lena and Edmund’s new level of intimacy but no one commented on it. Nalsa, however, did have a very smug look about her in the days that followed.

As the weather warmed and the ice thawed, there began to be murmurs drifting about Narnia concerning her newest princesses. More Narnians began making trips to Cair Paravel in hopes of seeing or perhaps even speaking to one of the princesses for themselves. Meri and Sara were more than happy to oblige. Lena thought it all rather strange, after all, they’d been in Narnia for a few months at that point; they were hardly “new” anymore.

“It’s because of us, me and you,” Edmund tried to explain it to Lena one afternoon in a delicate way.

“What about us?” Lena asked.

“It is because you have been mating for weeks now,” Nalsa said in an exasperated manner. “The Narnians have accepted you as King Edmund’s mate and your pups have become his pups now.”

“They were always his.”

“Yes, but the Narnians, like I was at first, were skeptical,” Edmund said. “Many of them do not understand the concept of marriage. They mate for a season maybe two. If they mate for consecutive seasons then they’re considered a mating pair.”

“You and King Edmund have been mating all winter and many Narnians are considering your fall courtship as part of your consecutive seasons,” Nalsa continued.

“So now they see us as a pair,” Lena said.

“Yes,” Edmund confirmed.

“And Narnia has two new Princesses because of it.”

“Yes, and about that… My Siblings and I were discussing the matter and…we’d like to make it official.”

“Official how?” Lena asked suspiciously. Edmund didn’t refer to his siblings as _Siblings_ unless it was royal business, and Lena could tell by the look he was giving her, that she wasn’t going to like the idea very much.

**XXX**

“A coronation?” Meri asked later that day. She was in Peter’s study with him and his siblings. Her mother was sitting on the sofa with a glass of something—probably wine—in her hand; she did not look overly thrilled.

“You want to host a coronation and name me as heir?” Meri had to make sure she heard him right.

“Yes,” Peter replied.

“You’re our niece; the crown is yours by right,” Lucy said.

“Yes but…” Meri looked over at her mother. “I…not by blood,” she said at last. Lena grunted and took a sip of her drink. Meri knew they’d talk about that later.

“You are my daughter,” Edmund said. “The Narnians know that, and they accept that.”

“But I… I don’t know the first think about ruling a country.”

“Neither did we when Aslan chose us,” Susan said.

“But unlike then, you will shadow Us. We will instruct you in all you need to know. You will rule, as an equal, alongside Us. And when we leave you will assume command as Queen of Narnia.”

“You’re basing all of this on the assumption that she stays after you leave. You don’t know that she stays,” Lena said standing up.

“We don’t know that I don’t either,” Meri said.

“Merina…”

“Babbo wouldn’t have known, Mamma,” Meri pushed on to explain. “In every story they always returned at the moment they left. We didn’t come the same way Babbo came or from the same place. It wasn’t even the same year. I was in London, 1958; he was up north in the country 1940. So there’s no way he could have known if I left too.”

Lena sighed and looked away briefly. “Look, I…I understand the predicament you all are in,” she said to the Four before focusing on Meri again. “But as your mother my only concern is for you and your sister. I only want what’s best for you and I can’t say that this is it.”

“I know, Mamma.” Meri gently laid her hand on Lena’s arm. “But I want what’s best for Narnia. And at the present moment, what’s best for Narnia is what’s best for me. And I… I think this is something Babbo has been preparing me for from the moment he first began telling me of Narnia.” Meri looked first to Edmund and smiled, then she turned to Peter. “I accept.”

Peter looked at Lena; it was agreed that Lena had to give her consent first. They all understood the reason for her reluctance. Lena nodded grudgingly and Peter smiled.

“I’m not bowing for you, Meri, Crown Princess or not.”

“It would be a curtsy actually.”

“I’m not doing that either, and I still think this might all be for naught.”

“Then it will be for naught, but at least We would have tried,” Meri said.”

“Not yet crowned and already using the royal ‘We’,” Edmund joked, trying to ease the tension that had risen.

“As the old adage goes, ‘be careful what you wish for,” Lena said. Then she picked up her glass and downed the last of her wine before quickly exiting.

**XXX**

When Edmund said there would be an influx of Narnians, he wasn’t lying. They came by the hoards, or perhaps herds, more Narnians than Lena had ever seen. There were Talking Beasts of all varieties, Dryads and Naiads, Gryphons and Mionatuars, and all the near human ones too, Dwarfs and Centaurs, Fauns and Saytrs. Lena found herself a bit over whelmed by it all and tried to keep to her new rooms as much as she could. They all came for the coronation of Narnia’s two Princesses.

Coronation.

Lena couldn’t believe it. The girls, of course, were ecstatic. They spent the better part of a month reviewing the details of the ceremony, fussing over what to wear and how to style their hair, and the proper way to greet their guests, both Narnian and otherwise as Narnians weren’t the only ones invited to the celebration.

“The lead carriage has just rounded the last corner,” Nalsa said. “You should make your way to the front steps.”

“Are you sure I need to be there, Ed?”

“It would be rude not to greet the guests, and I know your Daughters want you there,” Nalsa replied.

“What she said,” Edmund added.

“You’ve become quite the manipulator, Lady Wolf.”

“For you, it has been a necessity,” Nalsa replied with a hint of bite to her voice. But when Lena looked down at her, she swore she saw a wolfish grin.

“Very well then, lead the way,” Lena said as she turned to face Edmund.

“Do you have any questions about what is to happen?” he asked as he offered her his arm. Lena took it without hesitation.

“I have greeted Royal dignitaries before.”

“Yes, but I imagine those were under different circumstances.”

“And in less clothing,” she muttered. “Are you sure you want me here for this? I am not being crowned anything.”

“You are their esteemed mother; of course I want you there. Lune is a good man, a bit boisterous and overzealous at times, but a good man and a good King. He and his sons are nothing like the dignitaries you were used to. And not being crowned anything is your choice.”

“I am not fit to wear a crown.”

“Neither was I once,” he replied solemnly. “Fortunately for us both, Aslan is the great forgiver.”

“It is done, Edmund. I’ll hear no more of it.”

He smiled. “You know, for one who does not wish to wear a crown, you sure like to speak with the authority of one who does.”

Lena grinned. “And don’t you forget it.”

“I don’t think you’d let me if I tried,” Edmund returned as he let go of her arm and they took their place amongst the reception line.

Trumpets heralded the arrival of the Archenland convoy. There were two young boys riding on white stallions—the Princes Lena presumed—a young girl on a chestnut mare—she must be the Lady Aravis, formerly of Calormen, Edmund had mentioned—and one very round, very jolly looking man on a black stallion. Lena hoped, for the horse’s sake, that the large man had not ridden all the way from Archenland and had merely come in on horse for show.

The jolly man dismounted and greeted Peter with, as Edmund had described, a very boisterous and zealous hug. This was certainly King Lune, she realized. His greetings progressed similarly down the line, the Princes and the Lady following him, until he reached Edmund.

“Well met, King Edmund, and after so short a time and under much better circumstances.”

“Well met indeed,” Edmund replied. “And I have the great pleasure of introducing the Very-Soon-To-Be-Crowned Princesses of Narnia, their Royal Highness’s Merina and her sister Sarina.”

Lena watched with a mixture of trepidation and pride as Meri and Sara both properly greeted King Lune and his sons; Sara, of course, was a little less graceful than Meri. Then the large King turned his attention to Lena.

“And who might this rare beauty be?” he asked.

“This is the Princesses’ mother, the Lady Ileana.”

Lena curtsied and held out her hand, allowing him to kiss her knuckles.

“Mother? Surely you jest, King Edmund. For this…Goddess cannot be more than twenty and five with the beauty that radiates from her, or my aged eyes do deceive me.”

To her own astonishment, Lena laughed. “Your aged eyes do not deceive you, good King. For Goddess of Beauty I am, but I have not been twenty and five for near eight years now.”

“Still, very young compared to my years,” Lune said.

“Well, the best wines are the aged ones, are they not?”

King Lune laughed. “Indeed they are, my Goddess. Indeed they are.”

“Shall we head inside for tea now?” Susan suggested, a smile in her voice.

“A lovely idea, Queen Susan,” Lune said, briefly giving Susan his attention only to promptly return it to Lena. “Would the Goddess mind if I escorted her in?”

Lena smiled and took his proffered arm. “Keep calling me Goddess and I don’t think there’s much I would mind.”

They left the steps and led the way as the rest of the party trickled in behind them until only Edmund and Peter remained.

“Wha-what just happened?” Edmund asked, scratching his head.

Peter laughed and clapped him on the back. “I think Lune just poached your mate. You might want to try telling a girl she’s pretty once and a while.”

“Oh, bugger off, Pete.” Edmund shrugged off Peter’s arm.

Edmund and Peter hurried to catch up to the rest of the party. They had moved to one of the parlors where an array of warm foods and sweet treats waited them. By the time Edmund arrived, King Lune was already in the midst of preparing Lena’s tea.

“How do you prefer your tea, my Goddess?”

“Just a touch of honey, please. I’m not much for sweets.”

“Not for sweets? What a pity. If I were a younger King, I would shower you with all the sweets our small country could afford. I might still try it if I’m not careful.” King Lune laughed.

“That is very kind of you, your Grace,” Lena said as she accepted her cup. “But I’m afraid it would be a waste on me. Sweets were a…rarity for me growing up, so I never developed the taste for them.”

“Tastes can be learned, my dear. Surely there must be more.”

Lena smiled at the sanguine King as everyone settled into their seats around them. Edmund took up the seat across from her and briefly caught her eye. She looked back at King Lune.

“There is. My heart has already been claimed by another.”

“Oh!” Lune placed a hand over his chest in dramatic fashion. “And there it is: the fatal blow. King Edmund is truly a fortunate man to have won you over.”

“I consider myself to be the fortunate one to have been found and loved by him.”

“Isn’t that the way it is with love though? Each party seeking to claim the fortune for finding the other. I cannot compete with love such as that, but may I still call you Goddess?”

Lena laughed. “I might take offense if you don’t.” She looked across the table at Edmund. “That is one title I think I could adjust to rather easily.”

“Duly noted, Lady Ileana. I will see what the laws of Narnia can allow,” Edmund said with a smirk. “Goddess might even rank above High King.”

“Hmm?” Peter looked up over his tea cup. “What was that?”

He was met only with laughter.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**1951, London**

There was something about sitting in the dark that Lena found unsettling. The barbaric creatures of the past could roam free and the quiet solitude was oppressive, constricting the flow of air to her lungs. Or perhaps that was the dress she wore. The black dress could have given the red-silk one a run for its money. Little King didn’t like it, but then he didn’t really like anything about the plan.

_“You don’t have to do this, Lena. We can find someone else or find a different way,” he said._

_ “Not this late we can’t,” one of the agents nearby said as they wired Daniels’ flat._

_ Edmund eyed the agent hatefully and Lena saw his arm twitch. She lay a steadying hand on him as she pulled his jacket around her shoulders a little more._

_ “You are certain he is the rat?” she asked._

_ Edmund took a deep breath and nodded. “Yeah. It’s him.”_

_ “Then I can do this. I **need** to do this. I will make him squeal like a rat in a trap.”_

_ His lip twitched into a mild smile._

_ “I will be fine,” she continued. “And you will be just beyond the door with sword in hand.”_

_ He nodded. “At the first sign of trouble, I will be here.”_

_ “I know.”_

_ “That covers it,” the agent in charge said. “Everyone clear out. Bellariu, you’re on.”_

_ Lena nodded and slowly slid Edmund’s jacket off her shoulders, ignoring the looks the other agents gave her._

Little King and the other agents had only been gone for a few minutes, but in the dark, it felt like hours. Lena was given a small electric torch but she’d been warned not to use it much so as to not alert Daniels to her presence. She reached in the dark for the glass of wine Little King had left for her. There was also another empty glass as well as the whole bottle of wine; she was to offer Daniels a glass. The last thing she wanted to do was offer Daniels _anything_, but she knew she’d have to end up offering him _everything_.

She squirmed on the countertop and tried to adjust her dress. The counter may not have been the most comfortable place to sit and wait—the hard edges were digging into the back of her thighs—but it was the most advantageous. Sitting on the counter put things at eye level and since he was taller than Little King, Daniels would still be able to look down her neckline for an unhindered view if he chose to do so, and he would—all men did. Also, when she crossed her legs the split in her dress came mid-way up her stocking-less thigh. Lena was going to use every trick in her arsenal to make Daniels squeal.

She took another sip of wine, her hand shaking slightly, but as the lock in the door clicked she banished all traces of fear from her mind. There was a bit of shuffling around in the dark and the sudden light was blinding. Lena didn’t flinch, even as a bag was dropped and some glass shattered. She heard the clicking of a loaded gun being pointed in her direction. She finished off her glass of wine calmly.

“So nice of you to join me.”

“Bellariu,” Daniels said, surprised and suspicion lacing his voice. “What an…unexpected surprise.”

“But with any luck, it will not be an unsatisfactory one.” She turned her head to look at him and caught his eyes staring at her chest. He quickly looked away, scanning the room for Little King. The gun remained aimed in her direction.

“Where is Pevensie?” he asked.

Lena silently looked across the room to a closed door. She knew they were listening to every word and wouldn’t see the silent communication. As Daniels made his way in that direction, Lena poured herself another glass of wine.

Daniels stood to the side of the door before quickly pushing it open. Then, gun readied, he did a thorough investigation of the room only to find it was empty. But behind the door, he found a torn and bloodied shirt.

“Dead,” Lena said calmly, swirling the wine in her glass.

“Dead?” Daniels questioned, leaving the room with the shirt in hand and the gun hanging at his side. Lena didn’t let her satisfaction show; she was already less of a threat. “Pevensie is dead?”

Lena nodded and took a sip.

“Have you reported it?”

“I’m reporting it now.”

“This is a terrible loss,” he said unconvincingly.

“Is it? This is what you wanted after all.”

“I don’t know what you mean. I never wanted this.”

Lena laughed. “You disappoint if you think me so easily swayed by pretty words.”

Daniels dropped the shirt on the floor and set the gun on a small table as he slowly began to approach her.

“What happened in Kursk?”

Lena gave a half-smile as she looked at him over the rim of her glass. “I brought a man’s deepest desires to fruition. Oh. The look on his face when he got everything he desired was almost enough to make me come undone.”

Daniels’ eyes dropped to the exposed skin of her thigh where they lingered before rising to her chest. “You slept with him then?”

“And so much more; it was a night he was surely never to forget.” She grinned and took a sip. “Before his untimely death.”

“Yes. How did that happen?” The first bit of anger laced his voice.

Lena made a great show of annoyance, even allowing a near eye-roll. “Edmund intervened. He thought he was the only one who could touch me like that.”

“The meddlesome fool. Dimitri was useful.”

“He was an idiota,” she said with more irritation than necessary. She drank to cover it. “And he was a writer.”

“A writer?”

Lena let two of her fingers dip into the crevice of her dress slowly, allowing time for his eyes to track their movement—which they did. She produced a folded piece of paper. She held it out for him but in such a way that he would be forced to step closer in order to take it. His eyes lingered on her chest for a while before taking the bait.

“Where did you get this?” he asked after reading it quickly.

“Where do you think?” she replied.

He quickly looked around as though expecting someone to jump out and ambush him. “Who else has seen this?”

“Edmund did… before he too died.”

“And you are certain he is dead?”

“Quite.”

He took out a match and burned the evidence. Lena didn’t volunteer the fact that it was only a copy. “There is more where that came from,” she said though.

“Where?”

She laughed. “I’d be as big an idiota if I told you that.”

“What do you want?” 

Instead of answering, she reached for the wine bottle and poured them both a glass. “I want to toast to this new…companionship we find ourselves in.”

He looked at the cup she offered. “You must think me the idiot.”

“It’s not poisoned. I swear it on my honor.” _On her honor?_ She was starting to sound like Little King.

“What honor would that be?”

Lena had the urge to break the bottle of wine over his head, but that would have been a waste of semi-good wine. So, instead, she took a hearty sip from each cup and offered it to him once more. Again he simply stared at it.

“I’m more of a bourbon fan.”

“That is because you’ve never tasted wine like mine.” She subtly shifted her leg allowing the dress to fall open a little more. Daniels noticed and his eyes were drawn to the newly exposed skin of her knee. He slowly, almost hesitantly, placed his hand on it. He traced a circle on her leg before stepping in closer.

“An acquired taste I’m sure,” he said taking another dig at her. Lena held her smile and refrained from wasting the wine on him again. Finally, he took the offered glass and they drank together.

He kept his eyes on hers and his hand slowly slid up her thigh; she let her hands snake around his waist and under his jacket. His hand slid past the split and under her dress. It continued to slide up her leg until he found her hidden holster. He quirked an eyebrow—not nearly as well as Little King could—and pulled the holster out and the knife along with it.

“What do we have here?” he asked. She could practically hear Little King swearing in the room across the hall where he was waiting and listening with the others as Daniels removed her only weapon.

Lena simply shrugged. “A girl in my line of work needs a reasonable line of defense.”

“Are there any more surprises hidden under that dress I should be aware of?”

“Nothing quite like this.” She removed his own hidden holster and gun and tossed it out of reach.

“Perhaps I better check, just to be sure.”

He suddenly grabbed her other leg and wrapped it around his waist. His hand slid up the inside of her dress again to rest on her other thigh.

“Satisfied?” she asked in a breathy whisper when he found no other hidden weapons.

“I’m getting closer.”

Lena could tell.

“How did Pevensie die? Was it quick?”

“Not quick enough,” she replied a drastic change in her tone.

“Tell me about it? I want the details.” He tugged on her hips, sliding her closer to him. She now had both legs wrapped around him as his hands continued to run over her thighs beneath her dress.

“He had a thing for knives,” she said. “He thought himself a proper swordsman. So it was only fitting that he die by his weapon of choice.” Lena and Little King and agreed that when it came up, as they knew it would, Lena should stick to a story she knew well. The Polkovnik’s death was something she would never forget.

“I struck him here,” she continued as she let her fingers gently caress the tender flesh at the nape of Daniels’ neck. “There was blood everywhere. I can still hear the gurgling sound he made as he choked on his own blood. His eyes still haunt mine when I close them.”

“He was your first?” Daniels asked; Lena nodded, her face a few shades paler. “It gets easier. Do it enough and you even begin to develop a taste for it.”

Lena was startled by that. Daniels’ line of thinking was vastly different than Little King’s. Little King said he regretted each kill and wished there had been some other way, and he still prayed for each soul he took. This stark difference between the two jolted Lena back to the task at hand.

“I must admit, I am not easily surprised by a woman, but you have surprised me, Bellariu,” Daniels said.

“That is because most men are idiotas who do not think a woman can be their equal.”

“Perhaps. But perhaps it is because you were so adamant against sleeping with Dimitri.” His hands squeezed a bit harder on the inside of her thigh; she hid her flinch with a gasp of pleasure.

“A show, for Edmund’s sake only,” she said, her voice breathy. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back as though she enjoyed his touch and had to concentrate. “He believed me to be more virtuous than I am.”

“Virtuous? You? Then he was a bigger fool than I took him for. Still, I never thought you would be the one to kill Pevensie for me. Why did you turn on him?”

“I have been to every man what they wanted me to be, and I am tired of playing men’s games. I am ready to take control of my own life.” To prove her point she snapped her head up and pulled him closer with her legs. As she unbuttoned his shirt she left a trail of kisses behind. She could feel his body give in; it was time to finish this show.

“Your turn. Tell me, why would you betray King and country?” she asked between her kisses.

“I don’t think we need to get into that right now,” he said as his hand found its way to her breast. She really wished her body wouldn’t respond the way it did to his touch. She pushed him back but kept him trapped between her legs.

“Speak or this stops here.” 

He seemed to debate it heavily before reaching for her again. “He is no King of mine.” His touches became more deliberate as he continued. “My English father beat me as a child. My mother let him. But Gran…Gran was a proper woman. Gran was Russian.”

Lena resumed her work. She kissed on his neck and chest as her hands moved south.

Edmund knew they must think him mad, pacing the floor like he was, but they couldn’t understand. That was his wife, his Bondmate they were listening to, and she was being fondled by a man who wanted them both dead. He listened for a while himself until he couldn’t and he passed the large earphones off to someone else, only to take them back several times before he was banned from listening altogether.

Banned. Him. A King of Narnia. Banned from listening to his Bondmate.

He may not have been able to listen, but he could read facial expressions and—to a degree—lips. So he knew when Lena finally managed to make Daniels squeal. He hovered over the transcriber’s shoulders reading as he furiously wrote down everything that was said. Eventually, the Agent turned the headphones so that they both had an ear to listen to.

Edmund’s knuckles turned white with fury before he’d finally heard enough. He made a mad dash for the door forcing the others to scramble after him. He kicked in the door to Daniels flat and was fully prepared to tackle him to the floor as he had with the Polkovnik, but Lena was a step ahead of him. The instant the door opened she pushed Daniels back with enough force to make him stumble and trip over his own trousers.

Lena’s eyes then instantly found him and she became his only concern. He threw his jacket over her shoulders and escorted her quickly back across the hall to the safe room. He was in and out so fast he doubted Daniels even registered that he was there, or alive for that matter.

“Please…tell me we got what we needed,” Lena asked, head hanging over a bin and body shaking.

Edmund paused; how did he tell her? She looked up at him.

“We got what we needed,” he said at last. “And so much more.” He handed her a glass of water and sat down beside her as she cried. When he tried to wrap his arm around her and hold her close, she flinched and pulled away from his touch.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**1951, London**

Edmund wished he could have taken Lena back to the hotel, but their night was far from over. After Daniels was taken to a secure facility that even Edmund wouldn’t be able to get into, he and Lena made their way back to Broadway. They faced hours of debriefing where Lena was forced to recount her full evening with Daniels and the Polkovnik again. Edmund was then kicked out of the room while Lena underwent a confidential severance disclosure; Edmund only left at Lena’s insistence.

She was really and truly done with spy work. She had agreed to nab Daniels, as she believed she was the only one who could, but then she was done. Finished. Finito. Edmund couldn’t help but wonder where that left them. How would he see her again? How did he get her to marry him? Or had he failed her, failed them with the Polkovnik and Daniels ordeal? What would he do if he was forced to live the rest of his life without her and their daughters to fulfill it?

He was so caught up in this whirlwind of thoughts that he nearly missed her walking by him and out the door. He hurried after her.

“Lena! Lena,” he called. He had to jog to catch up to her. “Lena?”

She stopped and turned around slowly, pulling at the sleeves of the oversized jumper she wore over her dress. Edmund wanted to think it was just an accident that she simply hadn’t heard him calling her name, but when she turned around he saw the truth in her red-rimmed eyes. The knife twisted in his chest.

“So—” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “—So that’s it then? You’ve…signed the release contract and you…you were just going to leave. Without saying goodbye?”

She nodded and avoided his gaze, catching a tear on her fingertip before it could fall. “That was the plan. It seemed…”

“Easier?” he suggested bitterly. Her head turned sharply.

“Sensible. I thought we could avoid all this, avoid any awkward goodbyes and spare you any unnecessary apology.”

Edmund knew her accent was always thicker when she was upset, and now he could already hear the distinct Telmarine influence.

“And really, you have nothing to apologize for,” she continued. “That night was…intense for us both. Emotions were running high and I know I had enough wine to put a small horse to sleep, and you…you had that bottle of vodka. Neither of us should be held accountable.”

_That night_. So they weren’t dancing around it anymore then. “Agreed,” he said with a bit of relief. “There was nothing at fault with what we did. But it had been hours since your last glass of wine, any influence had long worn off. And I was a King for fifteen years with Draven ale stronger than any vodka. We didn’t sleep together because we were drunk, Ileana.”

“This isn’t about sleeping, _Edmund_,” she said tersely.

“Sex,” he said sharply, causing a few passersby to turn their heads. He took a deep breath and stepped closer to her. “‘Sleeping together’ is a polite way of saying ‘having sex’ in this world.”

“This isn’t about the sex either,” she retorted. “Or have you forgotten, I’ve had sex many times with _many_ men. They were all satisfied with my performance and they all said what they thought they needed to say. So I am used to the lies and the sweet words mean nothing to me, but I did not wish to hear you stumble out an apology over them.”

Her accent was progressively getting thicker and her eyes narrowed, but there was something she said that struck an odd chord with him. When he realized what it was and why, he nearly laughed.

“Wait… ‘_what they said_?’” he repeated. “Is this about what I said that night?”

She looked off to the side in that near-eye-roll of hers. Edmund smiled and stepped closer as he took her hand.

“You don’t have to worry about that, Ileana, because I wasn’t going to apologize for that. No amount of alcohol has ever made me say something I didn’t mean. I do love you…”

“Well, you shouldn’t!” She snatched her hand back. Her eyes shone with the tears she refused to cry. “You shouldn’t love me. I told you, I am not meant for that. I know what the men of this world, of any world, think of me and I have seen how the women look at me. I am not the girl great Kings love. I am what they keep on the side when they bore of their wives. But not anymore.”

She stepped away from him. “My best hope, my _only_ hope, is to return to Sicily and hope beyond reason that all of this has been kept from Merina, that she might still look at me and think the world of me, and I can pretend to be worthy of her affections. But it may yet be too late for that. As for us…”

Edmund felt a bitter sting rise in his chest as Lena took another step away from him. She squared her shoulders, refusing to let him see how this hurt her.

“This is goodbye, Edmund.”

Her heels clicked on the sidewalk as she hurried away. She didn’t want him to see how her eyes filled with tears or the pain that pinched her face. This was the best thing she could do for him. Edmund was too good, too earnest, too honorable for a girl like her. He deserved something better and she knew it would hurt her too much to only have a piece of him. She would always cherish their time together, and she was certain his touch would haunt her; no man had ever made her feel the way he did, but in time he would move on and forget her. This was for the best.

“Ileana!”

She could feel the stab of pain in her chest as the sound of his voice knocked the wind out of her. She tried walking faster, but among the other things, Edmund was also too stubborn for his own good. Tears blurred her vision and she stumbled; his hand was there to catch her and help her back to her feet. She fought in vain to break free of his hold.

“No, Ileana.” He gently brushed the tears from her cheeks. “No. I don’t accept that.”

Then he kissed her. His hands cupped her face and continued to brush her tears away. After a futile attempt to fight, her hands balled up his shirt in her fists as she melted into his arms and returned the kiss.

A car horn beeped on the street behind them. People went out of their way to avoid them, the women hissing their disapproval. Edmund moved his kisses from her lips to her forehead.

“I don’t care what other people think,” he said. “Their opinions mean nothing to me. But you… What you think, Ileana, means everything to me; _you_ mean everything to me. Whether I should or shouldn’t, I love you. Maybe you don’t love me yet, or maybe you just don’t know how to say it; it doesn’t matter because I know one day you will, and I don’t plan on leaving your side. I believe our love is transcendent and in time you will see that. I have waited a lifetime, traveling through different worlds, just to find you. And now that I have, I’m not giving up on us. What Aslan brought together, no Man or Beast can separate.”

He kissed her again. She knew it was a mistake. She knew she shouldn’t return his kiss. She knew that one day it would only hurt more when they said goodbye. But that wasn’t today.

**Narnia**

Lena watched Meri carefully in the days following the announcement, observing from afar how she handled herself as a Princess or _almost-Princess_. She did well, really well, better than Lena ever could have. She held herself with poise and grace; she spoke with dignity and gentle authority. It was clear all the Narnians were quite taken with her. It was, therefore, a surprise when the morning of the coronation came and everyone seemed unable to find her.

“I know where she is,” Lena said. Then she looked at Edmund. “And I think you do too.”

Edmund thought about it for a moment. “The music room, of course.”

Lena nodded. “I’ll go talk to her. Take Sara…and don’t let her play in that dress. I can’t begin to count how many dresses she’s ruined while under your supervision.”

“See, you say these things and I’m sure they mean something, but I… I just can’t figure it out.” He smirked.

“Let me put it this way then, if she messes up her coronation gown then you have to deal with Susan.”

His eyes went wide and his smile vanished. “Point made abundantly clear.”

“Yes. I thought that might do it.” She kissed him quickly before leaving.

Lena found Meri right where she thought she’d be, dolling out a rather depressing tune on the harpsichord. Kou—her now permanent guard—was standing by the bench trying to encourage her to leave but to no avail. Lena knew the great Cat had told Meri of Lena’s arrival; still, she did not move. Lena sighed and made her way forward.

“Do you mind if I try?” she asked as the Tiger met her half-way.

“Perhaps you will have better luck than I,” he replied.

Kou moved to the other side of the door and Lena let out a small sigh of relief. _Really? A Tiger, _she thought as she made her way over to Meri.

“Half the castle staff is in a fit looking for you,” Lena said as she squeezed in on the bench.

Meri played a note sorely out of key; Lena winced at the sound.

“So it has already begun?” Meri said drearily, fingers falling from the keys.

“What has?” Lena asked.

“I don’t think I can do this, Mamma. I think perhaps it is time we go home. I will only disappoint them.”

“Hmm,” Lena sighed. “Yes, I’m familiar with that feeling.”

“What do you mean? When have you ever disappointed anyone?”

“Oh, I have disappointed many people over the years. I disappointed my father when I was born. I have disappointed your Babbo many times, I’m sure, but he loves me all the more for it. And I have disappointed myself in being unable to overcome my fear of the Narnians. But most of all, I fear I have disappointed you.”

“What! But you’ve never…! That’s ridiculous, Mamma.”

Lena smiled, tears in her eyes, and kissed Meri’s forehead. “That is very kind of you, Merina, but I do not think you understand. You have always looked at me with the tented lenses a daughter has for her mother. You do not know how it really was, how I really was.

“I…I was very young when I had you, barely a year older than you are now. And I was very frightened. Not just because I was in a strange new world alone, but also because…I had no idea how to be a mother. My own died when I was Sara’s age; I barely remembered her…” Lena paused as a stab of pain caught in her throat.

Meri squeezed her hand. “Sara won’t forget you, Mamma. Babbo and I won’t let her.”

Lena nodded and quickly wiped her tears away. “I was certain…” her voice hitched so she tried again.

“I was certain you deserved something better than me as your Mamma. I only stayed the first few years to nurse you and to learn Caterina’s language. When you grew older and you began trying to call me Mamma…I left.

“It was only for a few days in the beginning, but then my absences grew longer and longer. Until in the end, I think I stretched it to two years. I was so convinced that I was unworthy of being loved and so certain that I would fail you as a mother. Even in the end, when I finally did make it home, I nearly turned around in the airport a dozen times probably.”

“Really?”

Lena nodded. “If it wasn’t for Edmund standing by my side, holding my hand and refusing to let go, well… I’d really rather not think about what our lives would be like if your Babbo wasn’t so stubborn.”

Meri laughed lightly and looked down at the keys as her fingers struck random notes. “Thanks for sharing that with me, Mamma, but you should know…you never disappointed me. I knew you loved me, I knew you always did your best for me.”

Lena smiled and kissed Meri’s head again. “But that’s just it, Merina. You will have your doubts, as I did. You may feel inadequate or unworthy at times, as I did. But you love the Narnians with all your heart. They will see that, they will know that, and they will love you all the more for that despite any shortcomings you may encounter—few and far between they will be if I know you at all; you can be as stubborn as your Babbo.”

Meri gave a little laugh through her tears.

“You were born for this Merina, the daughter of a King. And I think you are right; Babbo has been grooming you for this since the day he met you.”

“And, are you all right with me being a princess?”

“I never had a choice in that. I’m still worried, it’s true, but I’m a mother; I don’t think I’ll ever be free of worry. You’ll understand one day. However…” Lena brushed back some of the fallen curls from Meri’s face. “I have never been more proud or more honored to be called your Mamma.”

Meri threw her arms around Lena’s neck. “Thank you, Mamma.” She pulled back with a gasp. “The ceremony! My face is all a mess. I won’t make it in time.”

“Hush now, love. Do you think I did not come prepared?”

Lena rummaged through the small bag she had set on the harpsichord. She carefully blotted the kohl from Meri’s eyes before re-applying it. Then she freshened up the rest of Meri’s look including her hair. Then Meri returned the favor.

“Come now, we must hurry,” Lena said.

“It’s not like they can start the ceremony without me, Mamma. But still…Sir Kou, we need the quickest route to the throne room.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**Narnia**

“Lena,” Lucy called waving her arm wildly.

The celebration for the newest Princesses had been going on for a few hours. It was a lovely ceremony with many components that cumulated in a banquet and a ball. There was rather a good bit less of the traditional dances though as most of the attendees had more than two legs. There was, however, an abundant flow of wine; this helped a good deal in relieving Lena’s anxiety.

Lena smiled and waved back to her young friend. Lucy made her way through the throng to a back corner where Lena was trying to stay out of the way and hugged Lena’s neck tightly.

“Isn’t this wonderful?”

“Yes. It’s quite something,” Lena replied. “Did Susan orchestrate all of this alone?”

“Well, I tried to help but you can probably imagine how that went.” Lucy laughed.

Lena nodded. “My thirtieth birthday comes to mind.” Lena took a sip of her wine and grinned. “You insisted on planning a week-long trip alone. It was just the four of us, no husbands and no children allowed. You got us a French villa near several illustrious vineyards; we were going wine tasting.”

“Well, that doesn’t sound bad.”

“We burned the villa down the first night and we were banned from all the local vineyards by week’s end.”

Lucy’s eyes went wide.

“We stuck to Italian wines after that.”

Lucy laughed. “Wait. The four of us? You, me, Susan, and who was the fourth?”

“Holly. Peter’s wife, well… girlfriend at the time. We were so sure we’d scared her off that we had our apologies ready, but in the end, she asked when our next trip would be. We told Peter not to be an idiota when it came to her.”

Lucy laughed again. “Sounds like fun, but I do hope I made it up to you somehow.”

“You took the girls for two weeks that summer so Ed and I could get away. We went to Barcelona. Private cottage. Private beach. Very little clothing.” Lena smiled at the pleasant memory.

“Ugh,” Lucy rolled her eyes.

“What? It was a very hot summer that year.”

“Yes. I’m sure. Come! I want you to meet some of my dearest friends,” Lucy said as she suddenly grabbed Lena’s hand and led her back through the throng of guests.

“I thought I was your dearest friend.”

“You are my dearest _human_ friend.”

_Oh boy_. Lena thought. She quickly finished off her wine and grabbed another off a passing tray. Lucy led them right to a group of three Narnians waiting eagerly, a Faun and two Beavers.

“Lena, this is Mr. Tumnus and Mr. and Mrs. Beaver, Our first and oldest friends in Narnia.”

“It’s so lovely to meet you, Dear,” Mrs. Beaver said taking Lena’s hand in her furry paws. “Queen Lucy has told us so much about you.”

“Oh, well, I do hope she left out some of the poorer qualities.” 

“Like burning down a French villa?” Lucy said slyly.

“Who says that I had anything to do with that?”

“Because I’ve gotten to you over the last few months.”

Lena grinned and took a sip of her wine. “It was a joint venture,” she admitted. “Susan was appalled. Holly laughed hysterically.”

Lucy laughed again and Lena turned her attention back to the Narnians. “It is nice to meet you as well. I have heard many things about you; most of them were good.” Lena was at least ninety percent sure they had been mentioned at least, especially if they were Lucy’s first and oldest friends in Narnia.

Lena stayed and talked for a while with the Beavers; they were a rather adorable pair. Lena even managed to hold a conversation with Mr. Tumnus without staring at his horns or being unnerved by his legs. Perhaps the solution to dealing with the Narnians was to walk around in a perpetual wine-haze. But Lena didn’t think that was practical.

“Mamma? Where’s Mamma?”

Lena instinctively looked around at the sound of her other name. Meri was standing near the front of the room, looking for her, with her lute in hand.

“Mamma!” Meri smiled as she spotted Lena, and waved her over. “My mother is the best Alto you’ve ever heard,” she said to the attendees. “*Vieni a cantare, Mamma.”

Lena knew she’d had too much wine when she willingly made her way over. Yet still, her eyes searched the room for Little King on habit. He came up behind her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I can explain to Meri,” Edmund whispered in her ear.

Lena smiled at the offer. How did he always know? “Just promise me I won’t have to dance with anyone for information afterward.”

“I swear, on my honor, there will be no dancing except for pleasure and only if you want to. … And only with me,” he added as an afterthought.

Lena laughed. “If you wish to dance with me, you need but ask… Little King.” She smirked and handed him her cup of wine before taking the last few steps to Meri alone.

They sang a familiar tune with ease, sometimes singing solo sometimes in harmony. And when they were finished there was a mixture of clapping, hoof-stomping, and baying. The applause was followed by numerous shouts for another song. So, they obliged. They sang several songs until Meri’s hands became too sore to play.

“She’s really very good. You’d never know she only just picked it up a few months ago,” Edmund said after Lena and joined his side again.

“I know; it makes me worry for Sara a little,” Lena confessed.

“Why?”

“Well, Meri is exceptionally talented and graceful. It makes me wonder if she took all the grace and talent I had to offer and left nothing for Sara to claim.”

They looked to where Sara was attempting to dance with a Dryad but she kept tripping over her own feet and falling flat on her face. She never once cried though. Instead, she got back up and did it all over again.

“You have to admire her determination though; she doesn’t let anything keep her down. And, I would like to make it known that the stain on her dress was not of my doing; she was under Peter’s supervision at the time.”

From across the hall, Peter looked up and around as though he knew his name had been said. He narrowed his eyes at Edmund and Lena as they both laughed.

“I will make note of it,” Lena said.

The music changed to something suited for a more traditional style of human dancing. Edmund turned to Lena and held out a hand.

“Would you care to dance with me?”

Lena smiled and turned her eyes to the floor, but she remained silent for too long. Edmund dropped his hand.

“If you don’t want to, that’s all right.”

“No, it’s not that…” Lena sighed. “I would very much like to dance with you, Edmund. It’s just…I’m not really good at this sort of dancing. The dancing in the other place is very different; it’s…less choreographed, more intimate. And I was never the sort of girl that Lords danced with in my Narnia.”

“Well then, all the more reason why you should dance with me now.”

Edmund held out his hand again and Lena slowly accepted. 

“See, it’s not so bad now is it?” he asked after spinning her.

“Yeah, except everyone is watching.”

“So let them. Do we ever dance in _the other place_?”

Lena smiled and nodded. “Quite often actually. It’s a way for us to be close, to be…intimate…without risk of waking the girls.”

He grinned. “Ah, yes. You are not the type to keep your opinions to yourself.”

“Certainly not,” she replied.

Lena nearly tripped as Edmund spun her again, but he quickly steadied her with a hand on her waist. There was a beat or two when the rest of the world disappeared; they stopped dancing. Edmund found himself very content at that moment, something he’d never quite felt with anyone else. And he rather wished they could take this moment to the bedroom early, but something caught his eye over her shoulder.

“What is it?” Lena asked

“See for yourself?” Edmund spun her about and Lena saw Meri talking with _two_ boys, or rather, young men by the looks of it.

“Lord Rohl’s sons,” Edmund explained in her ear. “They made the crossing with him from Galma. The eldest, Reymar, is twenty-two; his brother Royce is twenty.”

Lena gasped. “They are far too old for her.”

“I couldn’t agree more. With your permission?”

“Yes, of course. What are you still doing here?”

He smiled slyly and kissed her cheek before making his way over in full kingly-swagger, his hand on the hilt of his sword. Guests, Narnians and otherwise, cleared a path for him. Lena could practically hear his introduction of himself from where she stood.

_“King Edmund, known as the Just, Count of the Western March, Duke of Lantern Waste, Wandbreaker, Knight of the Order of the Table, and the best swordsman in Narnia, how can We assist thee?”_

Meri maintained her polite smile, but her eyes grew more furious by the second. Until, at last, the young lords walked away and Edmund’s thwarting was complete. Meri looked over Edmund’s shoulder at her mother. Lena simply smiled. 

The celebration carried on until one-by-one the human guests began to disperse to their rooms and the Narnians began to drift outside, the music followed them.

“Lena, we’re going to continue on outside. Please say you’ll join us,” Lucy asked.

Lena was quite intrigued. Apparently, there was still enough wine in her system to feel at ease around the Narnians even though she had started drinking water two hours ago. But then she caught sight of Sara. She was sitting at a table, arms sprawled out, and head face down on the hard oak.

“Maybe next time. It’s way past her bedtime. And if she doesn’t get a full night’s sleep she will be cranky.”

“Oh, all right. But if you change your mind, just follow the sound of drumming.” Lucy hugged her neck before following after Mr. Tumnus and the others.

Lena made her way over to relieve the Dryad of her watch over Sara. The Dryad fluttered away with a brush of air through their hair, and Lena bent to pick up her daughter’s discarded shoes. There was no telling how long they’d been off and she was very grateful for the Dryad keeping up with them. Sara’s tiara had also fallen off into a plate of discarded pudding; Lena wiped off what she could but a more thorough cleaning was needed.

“Sarina, mi amore, it’s time for bed.” Lena tried to gently wake the sleeping princess, but there was no stirring. Sara would have to be carried.

“Allow me to help.”

Lena looked up at Edmund. “Are you not going to go continue the celebration with the others?”

“Not tonight I think. But don’t worry; in addition to Kou, I have put Swift on Meri Duty. He’s a very formidable Centaur. Lords Reymar and Royce won’t dare go near her with a Tiger and a Centaur at her side.”

“And you and I will incur her wrath for it.”

Edmund seemed to consider it for a moment, but only for a moment before he shrugged. “Worth it. I’ll carry her if you grab her things.”

With effortless ease, Edmund picked up the still sleeping Sara. There was a little movement as she wrapped her arms around his neck and lay her head on his shoulder. Their climb up to the Monarch’s wing was a silent one as neither wished to rouse Sara too much. Once in her rooms, Lena directed Edmund to lay Sara on the bed and find her a sleeping gown while Lena stripped her of the coronation one. Lena wiped Sara’s hands and face before slipping the gown over her head. Then she tucked her under the covers and began to leave all without Sara waking up.

“Mamma,” Sara called just as Lena and Edmund reached the door. Lena motioned for Edmund to remain where he was while she walked back to the bed. Sara’s eyes were barely open.

“Shh, my Little Princess. It’s time to sleep.” Lena kissed her forehead.

“Mamma? I miss Babbo,” she said sleepily.

“What about Eddie, Sara?”

“I like Eddie, Mamma, but I still miss Babbo. When can we see him again?”

Lena blinked away her tears as she kissed Sara’s head. “Soon, Topa. Very soon. When you close your eyes, he will be there in your dreams. And when you open your heart, you will find him there too. Always.”

“Always, Mamma?”

“Always,” Lena repeated. “Sleep now, Sarina. It is very late.”

“Will you sing for me, Mamma? Pweeease?”

How could Lena refuse? Sara was out before Lena reached the refrain.

Lena quietly crept into the hall where Edmund was waiting and shut the door behind her. There was a strange look in his eye and Lena knew he had heard every whispered word.

“I’m sorry.”

“There is no need to apologize,” he said, trying to mask his hurt.

“She…she doesn’t often speak of him you know. She speaks mostly of you and what fun she had that day.”

Edmund smiled. “Thanks.”

“It’s true. I’m not sure what she remembers of London or our life there.”

“Well, that…that makes sense actually. She is young; Lucy was the first to forget amongst us. Peter and Susan retained the most. For me, it has always been difficult to remember…but I find it less difficult when I’m with you.”

Edmund took her hand as they walked back to their room. _Their room_. He rather liked the sound of that, and he couldn’t stop the smile on his face. “You did very well tonight, I know there were more Narnians than you might have liked there.”

Lena shrugged. “I’m not sure my behavior tonight warrants any praise when others can do it so easily.”

“Because it is so difficult for you is the very reason why you should be praised.” He rubbed his hand over her back in comfort. She smiled softly before leaning in to kiss him just as softly. She removed his cape with ease, her lips forming a smile against his as she went to undress him more. The thought was tempting, but there was something else he wanted to do first.

“Will you dance with me again?” he asked, pulling back slightly. “Here, like we do in _the other place_?”

Lena smiled. “I’d like that.”

“You’ll have to help me a little though.”

She laughed and placed his hand on her waist. She put her right hand on his shoulder, settling in at the base of his neck, and took his other hand in hers.

“Think you can lead if I provide the music?”

“I think so.”

And so she sang as he led them gently to the rhythm. The dance, though unfamiliar to him, came almost naturally. He grew bolder and gave her a spin which brought her in closer. With each new phrase she sang and each bold spin he gave, they drew closer still until her arm encircled his neck and they danced cheek to cheek. When she finished that song, she sang another and Edmund was pleased with this new level of intimacy.

**1958, London**

Susan stood on the outside looking in. The curtain was partially drawn, blocking out the light of the hallway, but she could still see her brother through the thin sliver that remained. His head rested on his arm that was stretched over the bed; his bottom still sat in the chair he’d been occupying for the last several hours. He would pay dearly for the position later, but that was later. For now, she would let him be.

Peter came up beside her. His hand slid across her back to rest on her shoulder. She bent her cheek to brush a kiss to his hand.

“How is he?” he asked, his own voice thick with sleep and worry.

“Sleeping it seems. Finally,” she replied. She raised her hand to wipe the tear that fell under the guise of pushing back her hair.

“Sleeping? Should we wake him, do you think?” Lucy asked as she stepped up on Peter’s other side. Peter wrapped his arm around her as well.

“No,” Susan said shaking her head. “I don’t think so. It won’t be long now. This may be the last bit of rest he gets for a while. Let him have it.”

Lucy whimpered and Peter drew her in closer. Susan had to wipe away another angry tear. How could Aslan take Lena from them again, and so soon?

Meanwhile, Edmund’s eyes burned with weariness. He’d only meant to close them for a moment, to rest them just for a second. He never meant to fall asleep. And he certainly didn’t mean to sleep for three hours. But in his sleep, he dreamed.

He dreamed of Narnia. He dreamed of meeting his daughters for the first time. He dreamed of their first Christmas together. He dreamed of their coronation. And he dreamed of Lena, from their first meeting to their first dance, and every moment in between when he fell in love with her. He knew, after that first dance, that he would search far and wide for her in _the other place_, and he’d let nothing come between them. And when they said the words, he felt it through his whole person.

_“Ti amo.”_

_ “E ti amo…Luce.”_

***Translations**

Vieni a cantare: come sing


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**Narnia**

“Re-reprieve,” Meri panted. “I need water please.”

Lucy halted her assault, allowing Meri a moment to breathe and rehydrate. Then they sat for a moment in the cool shade.

“You’re getting much better, but you’re still slow on the follow-through,” Lucy said.

“And I need to work on my stamina,” Meri added.

“Maybe you should take your guard up on his suggestion to begin running with him?” Kou said.

“Well maybe if my guard didn’t run at first light, I would,” Meri retorted playfully.

Lucy laughed. “You take after your mother in that respect, I’ve noticed. She likes to sleep in too.”

“You don’t know the half of it.”

The sound of laughter rang through the air. They looked over to see Edmund lifting Lena as Sara cheered. There was no telling what was really going on, especially with Sara’s imagination. Meri couldn’t recall ever having an imagination as vivid or as active as Sara’s.

“They are so cute together,” Lucy said. “I’ve waited a long time to see one of my siblings this happy.”

“Yeah, it’s nice to see Mamma happy again as well. It reminds me of the way she was before.”

“Before what?”

“I…I just mean before we got here,” Meri said hastily. “Mamma was miserable when we arrived,” she continued. “And she pretty much stayed that way until Christmas a few… wait, how long has it been since Christmas?”

“About four moon cycles I think. Why?”

Meri grinned wickedly.

**XXX**

Lena flexed her fingers with a grimace and massaged her hand before the pain could spread up her arm. She contributed the mild tingling pain to the fact that she had been sewing for over an hour when she was long out of practice. It seemed reasonable enough to her. She couldn’t explain away why she felt the same tingling pain in her knees and feet, however, and she absolutely refused to think about it.

“You do know that the tailor could handle that for you, don’t you?” Edmund asked, looking up from his desk momentarily.

“I can manage. I’m nearly finished anyway.”

“What are you even doing?”

“Letting out the hem on a few of Sara’s dresses. She’s grown four inches since we arrived. I think she’s going to be tall like Meri.”

“Four inches? Really?!”

Lena nodded and held up the dress as evidence.

“We’re going to have to strap some rocks to her head to stop her from growing.”

“That sounds highly implausible, my King,” Nalsa commented from her spot in the sun. “Does that work on human pups?”

“Not likely, no,” Edmund replied.

“Then why would you suggest a strategy that is sure to fail? That is unlike you.”

“It wasn’t a real suggestion, Nalsa; it was just a human phrase. My…my dad used to say it to me before he…went away.”

Edmund grew silent and his eyes distant as he stared at the empty air before him. He’d been remembering more of his life in _the other place_ lately or trying to at least. Lena wished she could help, but she knew very little about his parents, only that they had died in a railway accident before she could meet them.

“Perhaps it works better than you think.”

There was a beat of silence that followed Nalsa’s comment before Edmund replied. “I take offense to that, She-Wolf.”

“You should not, my King. It was a mere statement of observation. You are among the shorter males of your species I’ve seen.”

Edmund’s eyes narrowed but Nalsa remained unfazed. “I don’t appreciate the laughing either.” He turned his attention to Lena.

“Aww…Poor bambino got his feelings hurt.” Lena pouted

Edmund put down his quill with a huff and crossed his arms. “Yes I did, and I think you should come to kiss it and make it better.”

Lena grinned and pushed herself off the sofa.

“Queen Lucy and Princess Merina come with their guards,” Nalsa interjected.

“Later,” Lena said.

“I’m holding you to that,” Edmund replied.

“Oh, I hope so,” she whispered before directing her attention to the library entrance enthusiastically. “Lucy! Meri, what can we do for you today?”

“We’re not interrupting, are we?” Lucy asked.

“Not at all—”

“—Yes, go away,” Lena and Edmund replied at the same time.

“Only a _little_,” Lena amended with a grin. Edmund huffed again.

“Relax, Brother. Lena will make it up to you later.”

“Excuse me, daughter in the room,” Meri said.

“Sorry, Meri, you’ll see for yourself one day.”

“Excuse me—”  
“—Parents in the room,” Lena and Edmund said.

Lucy brushed off their worries with a wave of her hand. “So, Meri told me the wonderful news and I knew we had to do something right away; there isn’t much time left.”

“News? What news?” Edmund asked.

“Sorry, Mamma. I know you don’t like parties, but I didn’t realize young Aunt Lulu was so enthusiastic about them.”

“A party? Why do we need a party?”

“Oh don’t be silly! Of course, there must be a party,” Lucy said, ignoring her brother still.

“I’m inclined to agree with Ed.” Lena moved closer to him to prove her point. “Why do we need a party?”

“In celebration of course! For the anniversary.”

“Anniversary? What anniversary?”

Lena’s eyes fell on Meri who shrunk back under her gaze.

“Your wedding anniversary, of course!” Lucy exclaimed. “It will be…how many years again?” She turned to ask Meri.

“Well, that’s a tricky one, isn’t it?” Lena said, messaging her hands again. “Seeing as how, _technically_, Ed and I aren’t married yet. But we were approaching our sixth year there when we left and it hasn’t been a whole year since we arrived yet so how can it be nearly seven?”

“Six years. Seven years.” Lucy shrugged her shoulder casually; she didn’t seem to notice the stiffness in Lena’s. “I suppose the number doesn’t really matter. The important thing is that it’s a special occasion and it should be commemorated.”

“Thank you, Lucy, for bring this to our attention, but I think this is something that Ed and I should discuss in private.” Lena’s voice was clipped and strained.

“I…” Lucy was cut off sharply by a look from Edmund. “Oh—of course. I understand. You’ll…you’ll come find me when you’re ready to discuss the details? This will be better than the French Villa, I promise.”

Lena nodded brusquely and turned away from her friend, much to Lucy’s confusion and dismay. There were muffled exits and padded feet crossing the wooden floor followed by the sound of a heavy door closing. Lena knew they were alone; even Nalsa had been asked to guard from the hall. Lena wiped her eyes and approached the window.

“She means well, but she can be a bit overzealous at times,” Edmund said as he approached cautiously.

“I know.” Lena sighed deeply. “I know she is, especially when it comes to us; she’s been that way since the day I met her, treating me like we were already best friends. I think I know why now. And she…she can’t begin to understand why this upset me, through no fault of her own.”

Edmund nodded as he took the final steps between them. “Why _has_ this upset you?” he asked warily, looking out the window.

Lena closed her eyes. He didn’t know. Of course, he didn’t; how could he? And how could she tell him that their last anniversary was plagued by her looming death? When she didn’t answer though, he came to his own conclusion, and she thought maybe it was best if she let him believe he was right.

“It’s because I’m not him. I’m not the Edmund you married, not yet at least.”

She kept her silence and he pulled away. Lena knew by his short breaths that he too was angry now. Still, being angry at her had to be better than knowing she would die before they could celebrate six years.

“Please,” he begged softly. “Don’t shut me out, Ileana.”

She said nothing, and he took another step back.

“Fine. Suit yourself. I don’t know what more I can say or do to prove to you that I am fully committed to this, to _us_.”

It was only after the door slammed in his wake that Lena finally slid into the window seat and cried.

_“I don’t care what other people think. You’re all that matters to me.”_

_ “I keep trying to tell you that I love you, and you keep trying to break-up with me,” he said with a lazy smile._

_ “What Aslan has brought together, no Man or Beast can separate.”_

Lena was still sitting in the window seat when Meri found her sometime later. Lena couldn’t be sure how much time had passed exactly, but the patch of sunlight that Nalsa had been lying in earlier had vanished altogether.

“I’m an idiota,” Lena said after Meri sat down beside her.

“You are not an idiota, Mamma. You say I get my stubbornness from Babbo; he says I get it from you. I’m doubly stubborn.”

“I suppose that is what will make you a great Princess.”

“I already am a great Princess,” Meri joked lightly, hoping to make her mother smile. When it didn’t work she continued in Italian. “This isn’t about King Edmund not being Babbo yet, is it?”

Lena’s eyes flicked to the door where she knew Meri’s Tiger was keeping watch outside. She followed Meri’s lead and stuck to Italian. “I can’t tell him, Topa.”

“Why, Mamma?”

“Why should we both be burdened with the knowledge? It will only cause him suffering and pain. I won’t do that to him.”

“He already carries the burden, Mamma; he just doesn’t know what it is he’s carrying. I don’t think that’s fair to either of you.” Lena said nothing and Meri frowned. “Not that it will make any difference, but I don’t agree with this decision. I’ll respect it, and I understand why you think it’s necessary…and I know it’s not simply to keep him from hurting either. I think… I think you’re afraid, Mamma. And I think it’s because, despite your best efforts and your insisting otherwise, sometimes you still think like a Telmarine and you still expect everyone else to as well.”

“Perhaps you are right, Merina. Perhaps it is a curse I shall never be free of.”

“I don’t think that’s true.”

Lena looked at her curiously. Meri grinned slowly.

“I have an idea. It’s a bit…radical for you, and it won’t solve all your issues, but I really think it will help…_if_ you agree to it.”

Lena and Meri both ended up missing evening meal as they scoured the library for books related to Meri’s idea. It was a radical one, really radical…especially for her. Lena wasn’t sure if she could go through with it, and yet when Meri invited Kou in for his take on the idea his fur-covered face changed completely; his white eyes simply glowed. Lena knew something like this would mean so much to the Narnians and in turn to Edmund. She would need his help though.

She found Edmund in the side chamber of their room that served as a writing desk; his actual study was located in the library. He was hunched over a stack of documents, quill scribbling on the paper. His hair was disarrayed as though he’d run his hands through it repeatedly, which he likely had as he usually did when he was stressed. Lena leaned against the door frame until he looked up at her. She held her hand out to him.

“Please,” she said when he did not move. He slowly stood and followed her into their room where they sat on the small sofa.

“Here you are no more the man I fell in love with and married there than I am the woman there that you fell in love with here,” she said delicately. “How can we be? How can we be the same people when so much has happened to us, between us, and around us through the years?”

Edmund leaned back against the sofa, arms folded over his chest in defense. Lena continued on.

“When you first met me there, when we first spoke, I was kissing on some guy—I never bothered to learn their names—in the alley behind the jazz bar I sang in every night. I was using my lips as a distraction while I lifted his pocket watch. It was shiny, gold I believe; it would have fetched me a good sum when I sold it the next day.”

“You were a pick-pocket? A thief?” he clarified when she looked confused. “Why?”

Lena shrugged. “Because I could. Because I was good at it. Because they were easily distracted. The jazz bar paid for me to sing. They were fare wages I suppose, but they were only enough for one person to live on. So, I sent them all to Meri in Sicily; I used my earnings from thieving to tend to my own expenses.”

Edmund shook his head. “That was dangerous, Lena. The men could have easily gotten out of hand. Then what would you have done?”

“A few of them tried, but I had a knife. A small blade I kept in my clutch. I didn’t know how to wield it then, but that didn’t matter. If I pulled it out, they were often too drunk to want to bother with me anymore. And if something had happened…I didn’t care. I had no self-worth back then. I was broken. Used. If I died then…so what,” she said with a shrug. “Who was there to miss me?”

“There was Meri. She would have missed her mother dearly.”

“Meri was young. She barely knew me. She would have healed and gotten over it, and, I told myself, she would have been better for it.”

Edmund shook his head again, in anger. “You are too hard on yourself. You are a wonderful mother, and Meri most certainly would not have been better off without you.”

“I know that now; I didn’t then, and that’s my point, Edmund. It is only because of you that I was given the chance to find that out. It’s because of you that I had the opportunity to grow, to heal, to become the woman, the mother, and the wife I am today.”

“The woman I love,” he said, taking her hand.

“The woman you fell in love with…here. I am a very different woman today than I was when you met me there.”

“Just as I am a different man here than the one you meet in that alley,” he said. “We have each changed the other to some degree. I already feel like I am a different man today than when we first dueled on the training grounds.”

“Yes, you are much more open to the impossible possibility of us.”

He chuckled and ran a hand over his face. “I think I understand now. Ugh. And I am so sorry for getting upset with you earlier. I should not have walked out on you like that.”

“You don’t have nearly as much to apologize for as I do,” Lena said leaning into his side. “I am sorry for the part I played as well.”

“All is well, Mi Amore. All is well.” He kissed her forehead as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“I wish that were the case, but there is more. Meri came back, sometime after you left, and she helped me to realize something. I am a Telmarine, and I have been running from that and what it means to me for most of my life. And I’m tired. I am so very tired of running from what I am.”

Lena sat up in her seat and turned to face Edmund; his hand slid down her back.

“That’s when Meri suggested I undertake The Bonding.”

“What?” Edmund sat up too.

“The Bonding, it’s an old Narnian custom where…”

“I am familiar with the ceremony, Lena. But…are you? Do you know what it entails?”

Lena nodded. “It was mentioned in one of her lessons; we researched it together. I know what it involves, and I know how difficult it may be for me, but… I don’t want to be a Telmarine anymore. I wish to become Narnian, and I would very much like it if you would become my Bondmate.”

“Lena, I… I don’t know what to say.” He took her hands in his. “I can’t tell you how much it thrills me to hear you say this.”

“Just say you’ll do it.”

“Yes! Yes, of course, I will. I do. I am. I will be your Bondmate, now and forever.”

One cannot simply say they wish to become a Narnian and be done with it, especially if one was so adamantly opposed to Narnians as Lena was. They must immerse themselves, figuratively and quite literally in some cases, in the Narnian lifestyles. Lena had to open herself up and accept the Narnians as they were for what they were, and they had to do the same for her.

And so, Lena, with Edmund at her side, hunted with the Wolves on the full moon. She swam with the Naiads in the Great River. She stargazed with the Centaurs in the dead of night when all she wanted to do was sleep until in the early morning hours in the hazy dawn she saw patterns and images she’d never seen amongst the stars before, images of her daughters laughing and playing, of ruling and taking husbands, of living a life happy and whole. She forged jewelry with the Dwarves in their mines, and she danced with the Fauns through the woods.

And then, after the hunting, the swimming, the stargazing, the forging, and the dancing, Lena and Edmund underwent a hand-fasting with the Dryads. They pledged their lives and their hearts to Narnia and to one another while the Dryads entwined their limbs around them. Then before all of Narnia, they were declared Bondmates.

“What Aslan has brought together, no Man or Beast can separate.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

Lena was happy, happier than she’d ever been. In the month that followed the hand-fasting, the sun shone brighter in her eyes, the air felt clearer in her lungs, and sounds resonated more vibrantly in her ears. She felt freer than she ever had before, and she loved Edmund more deeply than she thought possible.

“I’ve been thinking about something a lot recently,” Edmund began as he dropped to his knees before her. Sara was nearby gathering wildflowers with a Dryad.

“Oh? I do hope you didn’t strain anything,” Lena teased.

“Ha. Ha. You’re funny. No, I’ve been thinking about us, about our family.” He glanced down at her stomach.

“You’ve been thinking about having another.”

“I have,” he admitted. “Is that wrong of me? Please, please say it isn’t.”

Lena smiled. “It isn’t wrong of you, and I’ll let you in a little secret.” She leaned forward to whisper in his ear. “I’ve been thinking about it too.”

“Really?” His eyes went wide with excitement. Lena nodded. “Brilliant! You’re brilliant! I love you! Have I told you how much I love you, lately?” He kissed her repeatedly on her cheeks, her nose, and her lips, anywhere he could find a place.

“When can we start?” he asked. Lena laughed softly at his enthusiasm.

“Well…”

“Eddie! Come look at this one!” Sara called.

“Right now, you have more pressing matters to attend to.”

“Actually, I’m thinking it’s about time Princess Sarina took her nap.”

Lena laughed. “Good luck with that one; she hasn’t napped since the bonding.”

“Eddie!”

“I’ll be right there, Topa,” Edmund called over his shoulder. “We could always let Peter and Susan have a little quality time with her.”

“Eddie, hurry!”

“Perhaps, but right now you better do as the little Princess commands or there’ll be no time for anything else,” Lena said.

“Don’t move. I’ll be right back.” Edmund kissed her again before running off.

Lena smiled as she watched Edmund attend to Sara with just as much enthusiasm as he had her. A year ago, having another child was an impossible dream for them; now, Lena allowed herself to believe in that possible future, even if only for a second. Perhaps they’d have a son this time. He’d like that, she was sure. Things had certainly never been better for Lena.

Deep beneath the penetrating happiness and joy, however, Lena knew something was off. The aching of her arms and legs was deeper and a daily occurrence. She tired more easily from the simplest of actions. She found herself short of breath for no apparent reason, and she was beginning to lose her appetite again. She hid all of this, of course, but there was one who saw.

“You’re doing it again, Lady Ileana,” Nalsa said quietly.

Lena instantly stopped massaging her hand.

“Have you been to see the Healer yet?”

“Yes,” she lied. Nalsa stared back at her. “No. I do not believe there is anything she could for me anyway. And I don’t say that because she’s a Dryad; I am sure she is very skilled. But if this is what I think it is…”

“And what is that, Lady Ileana?” Nalsa tried again to pry the truth form Lena, but Lena would not release it. Nalsa moved closer to her and nuzzled her nose into Lena’s hand. “You must go see the Healer, Lady Ileana. You have more reason to now if you wish to carry more pups for King Edmund.”

Lena smiled. “I suppose you are right about that.”

She placed her hands over her stomach. If she could wish a baby into life with just her will, then the babe would already be in her hands. She was only thirty-three, well thirty-four now; she was still young, still viable. Physically and mentally she should be able to do this. She wanted this. And yet, that feeling of wrongness still plagued her mind.

“Hmm?” Lena shook the negative thoughts from her head and looked up. “I’m sorry, what did you say?”

Nalsa blinked back at her. “I didn’t say anything, Lady Ileana.”

“Oh. Did Ed call for me then?” She looked over to where Edmund and Sara were, but they were both clearly absorbed in whatever it was they were doing.

“He did not call for you either,” Nalsa said.

“Hmm… I was sure I heard…”

Nalsa’s ears twitched and she stood up.

“You heard it that time too, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

Nalsa sniffed the air around them, ears pinned to her head and a snarl on her lips. She circled the quilt twice before her demeanor changed drastically. Her tongue lolled out of her mouth, her tail wagged enthusiastically, and she pranced in her spot.

“Nalsa?” Lena had never seen Nalsa act like such a common dog. She turned to get Edmund’s attention but neither he nor any of the other Narnians seemed to notice Nalsa’s curious behavior at all.

“Oh, this is great, Lady Ileana. Wait until you see! But He only wants to see you right now. You must go to Him at once!”

“Go to whom? What’s going on? What’s gotten into you, Nalsa?”

Nalsa pulled Lena to her feet and then nudged her towards the tree line. “Go, go. You will see.”

With Nalsa pushing on her back, Lena stumbled as she made her way beyond the trees and out of sight from the others. As confused as she was by Nalsa’s behavior, she was even more confused by what she found.

“You’re a cat,” she said. Nalsa had gotten all worked up over a cat. “Or are you a Cat?” she asked. “I’m sorry; I’m still learning to tell the difference.”

The orange cat arched its back and mewled.

“So a cat, then. Right.” Lena shook her head. “I bet Nalsa would feel pretty embarrassed right now if she saw you. Do Wolves get embarrassed?” Lena wondered aloud as she bent to rub the cat’s head.

The cat nuzzled into her hand. Lena continued to pet its soft, silky fur unleashing a sense of peace and contentment for them both. The cat purred and the deep achiness Lena felt began to dissipate. Lena inhaled, breathing in a soft sweet smell and the weariness that was creeping in began to leave.

“It’s strange,” she said. “I know we only just met, but I feel like I know you. What’s this?”

Lena’s hand ran across a spot on the cat’s side that was rough and scarred. She gently brushed aside a patch of fur to find a thin, faded line of her signature stitch. Her hand fell away and she rocked back on her heels.

“What is this? This doesn’t make sense. You can’t be…”

Lena stared into the cat’s golden eyes.

“You know me, Ileana, but not as well as I know you,” the cat said. Then the cat breathed on her and Lena was taken back to the first time a strange cat came to her.

_The orange cat jumped up on the bed next to her after the old Lord left. Lena never liked cats, so she pushed it off. It jumped back up at her feet but Lena was too tired to fight it again. Their dance continued every night until weeks later Lena curled against its side and cried into its silky fur._

_ After weeks of being visited by the strange cat, Lena grew to expect its appearance. On the night it showed up with blood on its fur and an open wound on its chest, Lena wasted no time in finding her needle kit and sewing the wound closed. _

_ “It was only a cat, Edmund."  
_ _ …_

_ “Loved?”_

_ “Loved,” he repeated. “…loved by a cat…who was more than just a cat.”_

Lena fell forward on her knees and wept as the cat became a Lion.

“Why me?” she asked. “What could you have seen in me to warrant this love?”

“I saw you as you are now, as you were always meant to be,” the Lion replied His voice so deep Lena could feel it in her bones. “And I have waited a long time for this moment.”

“I—” Lena sniffed. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

To her surprise, the Lion laughed. “Had you come to me any sooner, you would not be you.” Then He nuzzled into her, allowing her to curl up next to Him taking the comfort and peace He offered. Lena stayed at His side continuing to breathe in His heavenly scent, letting it fill every hole inside her until the achiness of her limbs and the heaviness on her heart were washed away.

“This is the end, isn’t it? You have come for me.”

“I have come for you, but I wish you would not think of it as an end rather the beginning of a life spent eternally with me.”

Lena nodded. “Might…might I have a bit more time, just to say goodbye? Nalsa might be cross with me if I simply left.”

The Lion laughed. “For dear Nalsa’s sake, you may have until midnight tonight. Now, if you are ready, there are two Princesses I am eager to meet.”

The Lion stood. Lena rose along with Him and as she did she noticed for the first time that the air around them had been still and quiet but the instant they stood the forest became abuzz with life. Lena could hear the excited voices of many Narnians just beyond the tree line, many more than what had been with them.

“What’s Meri doing here? I thought she was at the castle.”

“Word travels fast in Narnia,” the Lion replied.

The noise level intensified as they stepped back through the bushes. The once quiet glade was swarming with woodland Creatures who’d come to see the Lion. Meri was there with Kou and the rest of the Pevensie family. And Sara was no longer interested in gathering wildflowers with Eddie. When the Narnians saw the Lion, there was much baying and cheering and flowers dancing in the wind. The local Naiad had left her stream and she cast a shower of tiny rainbows whenever the light hit her.

“Aslan!”

It was hard to say who said His name with more excitement, Sara or Lucy, but Sara was the first to reach Him. Together they nearly tackled Him. Peter and Susan greeted Him next, followed by Edmund. After he bowed to the Lion, Edmund stood next to Lena and held her hand. Meri was the last of the humans to approach, and though she moved slowly, Lena could see the excitement in her eyes. Meri bowed respectfully as Edmund had before giving in and throwing her arms around the Lion’s neck. All the while, the Lion laughed.

The new party brought a hearty amount of food with them. So, after everyone had a chance to greet and praise the Lion, they sat for a picnic lunch. Around the glade, there was singing and dancing. No one was quite sure when Aslan took His leave, but the celebration continued long after He had. Lena enjoyed the afternoon spent with her family, an afternoon free of aches and pains and premature weariness. It was nightfall by the time they returned to the castle.

“Thalia, will you take Sara up to her room and see that she gets a proper wash?”

“Of course, Lady Ileana. It would be my pleasure,” the Dryad bowed.

“Mamma, can Eddie come too?”

“I…”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” Lena said, cutting across Edmund. He looked at her curiously and Lena held her breath, hoping he wouldn’t read the truth in her eyes.

“Go. I’ll be up soon.”

Edmund nodded; he could tell something was off but he shoved the thought aside. In one fell swoop, he lifted Sara onto his hip. “Right then! Shall we continue the saga of the Pirate King?” he asked.

“No, Eddie. Pirates are last year,” Sara said pointedly.

“Oh? So what should we explore this year?”

Sara wrinkled her nose, tilted her head to one side, and tapped her finger to her lips. “Mermaids!”

“Ah. You mean Merpeople; there are Mermen too,” Edmund corrected. Sara’s face was aglow with wonder as they left.

“Well that was a thoroughly enjoyable and relaxing day,” Susan said. “But now I am even further behind on the Seven Isles Trade Agreement. If you’ll excuse me, I should at least look at it tonight.”

“Sue, come on. You’ve already missed a day’s work; you should take the night off as well,” Peter said. “I will sit down with you tomorrow, and look over the trade agreement with you,” he said.

“_You’ll_ sit down with me? Don’t you mean you’ll make Ed do it?” Susan asked. Lucy laughed.

“Mamma?” Meri said, drawing everyone’s attention to Lena who was still facing in the direction that Edmund and Sara had walked.

Lena slowly looked around her, taking in the grandeur of the entrance hall as she turned to face the others. Since arriving in Narnia, she’d never actually taken the time to admire the beauty of Cair Paravel or how different it was from Castle Caspian. She smiled softly to herself.

“Just when I think I might actually begin to like this place.”

“Mamma?” Meri said again.

Lena had been thinking out loud and hadn’t meant for anyone to hear, but now that they had she couldn’t escape their curious looks. She studied each of them carefully. Lucy’s smile was as warm and infectious as her friendship had been. Susan’s gentle wisdom had been a comfort and an aspiration Lena strived to achieve for herself. Peter’s steadfast strength blanketed the family in a protective shroud that had always made Lena feel safe and secure, even when she didn’t realize it. Looking at them now it was like she was seeing them for the first time as the King and Queens they were.

Then there was Meri who, somehow, seemed to be the perfect blend of all four of them. She had Lucy’s infectious smile, Susan’s gentle coolness, Peter’s fierce protection, and Edmund’s sly playfulness. She was a Queen in her own right. Lena no longer feared what she knew would come next.

“Mamma?” Meri walked over to her. “Are you all right?”

Lena thought about telling them about her conversation with Aslan. In fact, she had been certain she would tell them until the moment she opened her mouth to do so. And instead of telling them that she would be leaving in a few short hours, she simply smiled and took Meri’s hand.

“Sto bene, Topa.”

“Are you sure? You’re acting a little strange.”

Lena nodded. “I was just freezing this moment in my mind so that when I look back _this_ is the Narnia I remember, not the version I lived. I see it now, what you all wanted me to see. I see Narnia, and it’s beautiful.”

“Aslan has a way of changing how we view the world once we let Him in,” Lucy said.

“That He does, Lu,” Lena agreed. “I should go find Ed, see if he needs any help with Sara.”

Before she left, however, Lena hugged each of their necks and told them she loved them.

On her way up to the Royal suites, she came across Nalsa who was on her way out after leaving Edmund with his night guard.

“Nalsa, do you have a moment?” Lena asked. The Wolf nodded and followed Lena into a sitting room nearby. Lena closed the door behind them. “If there are any ears here besides mine and Lady Nalsa’s, please give us the room.”

After a pause, Nalsa replied. “We are alone, Lady Ileana. What is it you wish to speak to me about?”

Lena moved to sit in one of the chairs; Nalsa followed her over. “You are sworn to protect Edmund from any threat of injury, harm, or pain from any source. Is that correct?”

“Yes, Lady Ileana. I vowed my life to his in the Guard’s Oath.”

“And what if in order to protect him, you had to lie to him?”

“Perhaps if I knew more specifically what we were discussing, I might be able to evaluate the situation better.”

“I’m leaving, Nalsa.” Lena choked on the lump that had arisen in her throat as she confessed for the first time what Aslan had confirmed.

“You’re…leaving?”

Lena nodded. “It is, in part at least, why Aslan came to see me today.”

“When? How much longer will you be staying with us?”

“I’m leaving tonight, in a few hours.”

“Tonight? But that is not enough time to carry the new pup.”

“No,” Lena choked again. “No, it is not.”

Nalsa’s ears fell and her eyes drooped. “King Edmund will be pained by this news.”

“There is more. When I leave Narnia, I won’t be returning to _the other place_. I…” Lena paused and massaged her hand subconsciously. “I’m dying, Nalsa. Edmund doesn’t know about it, here at least. We have been fighting it for months there. The Healers have tried their best but…”

“When it is your time, Aslan will not rest until you are home with Him.”

“I thought you should know the truth. Meri knows as do Peter and Sir Jagar, but none of them know that I am leaving. I will tell Edmund that much, but I do not wish to tell him the other. I... I do not think I am strong enough to see the look in his eye again when he learns of my death.”

“And you wish for me not to tell him as well?”

“I… I don’t know. I once thought the decision was mine to make, but it is not. I do know, however, that telling him will only cause him pain.”

“He will still feel the pain when it happens in the other place.”

“Yes.”

“So not telling him will not take the pain away.”

“No; it will only delay it.”

“Why are you telling me, Lady Ileana? You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I… I respect you, Nalsa. And I trust you to take care of my family in my absence. As I said, Meri knows and she may need your council.”

“Then I will not fail you, Lady Ileana.”

“I never doubted that you would.”

“I must confess, though; I am torn. I do not wish for you to leave, and neither do I wish to keep you from journeying to Aslan’s Country.”

“Aslan’s Country?”

“It is a place beyond the Eastern Sea where all Narnians, who have been faithful to Aslan and His Father, journey to find rest when their time here is done.”

“Well, if it is anything like Narnia then it is where I hope to go.”

“It is even better than Narnia.”

“I cannot imagine a place that is better than the Narnia you helped me to see…Friend.”

Nalsa nudged her nose under Lena’s hand and wagged her tail, eliciting a tearful laugh from Lena.

Lena kissed the top of Nalsa’s furry head. “I will miss you too,” she said.

Later that night, Edmund reacted to the news just as Lena suspected he would, with tears and anger. When he tried to pull away, Lena pulled him back in.

“Be angry with Him tomorrow. As for tonight, please, just be here with me.”

Edmund took her into his arms and held her close in the desperate hope that if he held her tight enough then he wouldn’t ever have to let her go.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Meri didn’t notice the strange and distant wailing when she woke at first. She saw only the sun shining through her open window, and she felt only the gentle breeze that swept into the room. She did notice, however, that the Dryad that usually attended to her was not present. Just as Meri pulled a dress over her head, her door opened. The wailing grew louder as Kou entered, and then it quieted again as he pushed it to with his back leg.

“Good morning, Kou. What was that noise? What’s going on?”

“The Lady Bea mourns,” the Tiger replied solemnly.

Meri frowned. “Why is Bea mourning? What…” Meri’s voice faded as she searched Kou’s eyes. There was a deep sadness there and Meri knew something terrible had happened. It didn’t take long for Meri to search her mind for the worst that could have happened. Her mother’s strange behavior the night before suddenly made sense to her now.

“No. No, it can’t be.”

Meri rushed by her guard to reach her door. Stepping into the hall she realized the wailing was a howling and it reached deep into her core and tore at her soul. Lucy and Susan were standing in the hall, guards at their side and tears in their eyes. Meri picked up her pace as she neared her mother and Edmund’s room, but it was empty. She continued down the hall to her sister’s room. Peter stepped out, his head hanging low. Meri could hear strangled sobs coming from the open door behind him. For a moment, Peter just stood there, then he slowly pulled her into a deep hug.

“Ma-mamma?” Meri could barely get the word out through her tears. 

“She is with Aslan now,” Peter whispered. “I do not doubt it, and neither should you.”

“And Sara?”

“It would seem that she has returned to _the other place_.”

Meri squeezed him tightly. Her sister was gone, her mother dead. “She knew she was leaving last night, and she didn’t say anything.”

“I think she said everything that needed to be said. She loved you.” Meri nodded against his chest. “Now, go to your father. He needs to see you.” Peter kissed the top of her head before pulling back.

Meri had to take a moment to compose herself before she entered the room. Edmund was on the bed, his back to the door, and Sara’s blanket crumbled in his hands.

“No offense, Susan…but please, just leave,” Edmund choked out. The heartache etched in his voice tore at Meri’s nerves and brought fresh tears to her eyes. She brushed them aside.

“It’s not Susan; though, I am flattered.”

Edmund’s head whipped around, his eyes wide. He sprang from the bed and hurried over to her. He reached out a hand to touch her face but stopped, almost as though he were afraid she was merely an illusion. Meri took his hand and placed it to her cheek.

“It’s really me, Babbo. I’m here.”

His eyes turned glassy and his brow twitched. “You…you called me Babbo.”

“So I did, didn’t I?” Meri laughed through her tears. Edmund threw his arms around her, and they wept together.

**Narnia, 16 Months Later**

Meri urged Bianca to run faster as she saw the white tail whip out of sight. Peter came up beside her with a great deal of laughing.

“You’ll have to try harder if you wish to keep up, dear Niece,” he taunted before pulling ahead.

Meri bent forward and stroked Bianca’s neck. “Come on, love. We won’t stand for that, will we?”

Bianca surged forward with greater speed. Leaping over logs, darting around trees, duking under branches, Meri kept pace with Peter. Soon, it became less about the hunt and more about trying to outdo the other. They came into a clearing breathless and laughing; the stag was nowhere in sight.

“Well done, Meri,” Peter said.

Meri bowed her head in thanks. “Where do you think Babbo and the Queens are?”

“Aww, they’ll catch up sooner or later…later in the case of Ed. Listen, I think I hear them coming now.”

Sure enough, there was a stampede of hooves as Lucy and Susan came into the clearing. They were both laughing as well.

“Where’s the stag?” Susan asked.

Peter shrugged. “It got away.”

“Oh well, at least we had a good run,” Lucy said.

Edmund and Philip trotted into the clearing.

“Welcome to the party, Ed. So glad you could join us,” Peter teased.

“We’ve already caught the stag, made our wishes, and sent it on its way,” Susan added.

“Ha. Ha.” Edmund sulked.

“Are you all right, Philip?” Meri asked the panting Horse.

“I’m not as young as I once was,” he replied. “Nor Edmund as small.”

Everyone laughed except for Edmund who seemed to be pre-occupied staring at something in the distance.

“What is it, Ed? Do you see the White Stag again?” Lucy whispered.

“No…no it’s not the stag. It’s something else entirely.” Edmund slid off of Philip and made his way over to a peculiar looking tree; the others followed his lead. It was slender and about four-and-a-half meters tall, and wrapped in vines.

“What do you suppose it is?” Peter asked.

“It’s as if from a dream.”

“Or a dream of a dream,” Susan and Lucy said.

“It’s a lamppost,” Meri clarified. “It’s a relic from _the other place_.”

They all turned to look at her for a moment. In the nearly year-and-a-half since her mother and sister left, thoughts of _the other place_ began to fade once more. Now, Meri could see the recognition come into their eyes as their old memories began to strengthen.

“Ileana,” Edmund whispered. It had been well over a year since he’d said her name as it caused him too much grief.

“It…it’s time isn’t it?” Lucy asked sadly.

“Yes, I think it is,” Susan replied.

“It doesn’t have to be,” Meri argued. “We could go back to the Cair; forget we ever saw this.”

“We can’t go back. We can’t forget,” Edmund said.

“I’m not ready, Babbo. I’m not ready.”

“You are ready, Merina.” He placed his hands on her shoulders.

“How do you know?”

“Because you are my daughter. You were born ready.”

“He’s right, Meri,” Peter said as he stepped towards her. “We all believe in you. We know you have Narnia’s best interests in mind.”

“And just because we’re leaving this world, doesn’t mean we’re leaving your heart,” Susan added.

“You’re one of us, Meri. You’re family.” Lucy said.

“Merina, Topa…I have to go find your mother. It’s like I can feel the bond pulling on me.” Edmund rubbed his chest. “I have to find her and make her fall in love with me again.”

“It won’t be very easy,” Meri said through her tears.

“No. I don’t expect it will be, but it will be worth it. Every moment I get to spend with her, with you…with Sara again will be worth it.”

“I know, I just…”

“I know,” Edmund said. “Me too.” He kissed her forehead and pulled her in for a hug.

Meri gave each of her aunts and Peter a hug as well, then she stood back and watched as Edmund led them through the thicket beyond the lamppost.

Meri didn’t know how long she’d been standing there staring at the thicket before she was joined by the Royal Guard. They came in behind her without her knowing and looked around for their charges. Philip nudged Meri in the shoulder to get her attention.

“Come, Little Mare; it is time.”

Meri turned to face the Narnians and she nearly cried at the look on their long faces. “I…I’m sorry, Friends, but the Kings and Queens have left this world.”

“We should have never stayed back,” Nalsa said. “I told King Edmund we should stay with them. He wouldn’t listen.”

“Your presence here would not have kept them from leaving,” Philip said.

“Philip is right. We knew this day was coming,” Jagar added.

“Yes, but I would have liked the chance to say goodbye.”

“We can grieve the departure of their Majesties all we want, but it was Aslan’s will and He has not left us alone,” Kou said solemnly. He approached Meri and sat at her side.

“No, He has not nor shall He ever,” said a strange voice. Meri looked around for the speaker and saw an all-white stag emerge from the wood. “You gave me the best chase I’ve had in a thousand years,” he said. “That alone warrants a wish in my book.”

“Any wish?” Meri asked.

“Any wish.”

Many wishes came to mind. Meri could wish for Babbo and her aunts and uncle to return. She could wish for her mother and sister to return. She could wish for her mother to not die in _the other place_. All of them were good wishes and any one of them would have made her happy beyond measure. As she looked around at the Narnians, however, she knew what she needed to do.

“I… I wish… for the Courage of the Valiant Queen so that I may face my enemies head-on, for the Wisdom of the Just King so that I may discern who my enemies are more clearly, for the Serenity of the Gentle Queen so that I may make peace with my enemies instead of war, and for the Brilliance of the High King so that I may rule in such a way that I have no enemies to make.”

Meri was filled with an odd sort of strength, as though merely speaking the words had made her stand taller. The Narnians around her seemed different too. They were less sad, more hopeful; there were even a few wagging tails and yips of excitement.

The Stag bowed his head. “It is done… Queen Merina.” The Stag bent its front two legs and lowered its head to the ground. The Narnians followed suit.

**1058, Narnia**

Meri moved through the halls slowly with her Tiger guard, Jasper, at her side. Meri was wandering when a set of fair-haired boys darted in front of her. They were closely followed by a dark-skinned boy of about eight years. None of them noticed Meri or Jasper.

“Killian,” Meri called in a voice that was sure to get the boy’s attention. As desired, the young boy halted in his tracks and turned to face Meri. His eyes were wide and his bottom lip was pulled between his teeth.

“Yes, Non—er—Queen Mother,” he corrected at the vicious snarl of Jasper.

Before Meri could begin, there was a skittering of nails on the marble floor as Laika came sliding around the corner. Jasper’s snarls grew louder.

“Oh! Oh sorry, Queen Mother. What has Killian done now? Whatever it is, I promise you, he’ll get a very stern talking to,” said the she-Wolf.

“And who will give you the stern talking to?” Jasper growled.

“Not you, Tiger!” Laika bit back.

“Prince Killian is your charge, Wolf. You should never let him out of your sight.”

“Peace, Friends,” Meri said firmly. Jasper immediately sat on his haunches as silent and stoic as ever. While Laika tucked her tail between her legs and let her ears droop in shame.

“Please forgive Jasper, Laika. He is cranky this evening,” Meri continued. She could sense Jasper’s eyes on her in protest, but he remained silent. “And I am sure he doesn’t realize how difficult it can be keeping up with a young boy, especially one as wild and rambunctious as Prince Killian. Not so fast, Killian! I will get to you in a moment,” Meri said pointedly.

“Sorry, Queen Mother,” Killian said. Still, he looked over his shoulder anxiously; the other two boys were long out-of-sight.

Meri turned her attention back to Laika. “Jasper was correct, Laika. You have been charged with Prince Killian’s protection. You cannot protect him if you are not with him. I know you are young; if you are not ready for a full-time charge, you must speak up.”

“But I am ready, Queen Mother! I just…”

Meri held up a hand to silence Laika’s protests. “Killian, did you purposefully leave your guard behind with the intent of doing nefarious things?”

“Uh… Well, I… I don’t really know what nefarious means, but you see, Nonna Thor and Thorrin poured juice on Nina’s bread and I was just trying to re—re—retaliate, and…”

Meri arched a brow the way her Babbo used to do.

“Yes, Nonna. I mean, Queen Mother.”

“It seems you both could use a refresher on the importance of keeping with your guard at all times. You will, therefore, both report to the Arm’s Master tomorrow morning for a refresher course.”

“What?! But, Nonna, tomorrow Thor and Thorrin and I were supposed to…”

“Do I need to bring the King and Queen in on this matter?”

That silenced Killian’s protests quickly. His eyes went wide and he shook his head fervently. “No. No, please don’t tell Mamma!”

“Then you and Laika will report to the Arms Master first thing tomorrow morning.”

Killian nodded his head and Laika stamped her front paw and sat up straight. “Yes, Queen Mother. We will be there. I will make sure of it even if I have to drag him by his collar.”

“See that you do, Laika. And, Killian, remember, Thor and Thorrin are our guests.”

“Yes, Queen Mother.” His shoulders drooped.

Meri leaned towards him and said softly. “They do not know this castle or its inhabitants as well as you or I.” She winked.

“The passages! Of course! Thank you, Nonna!” Killian shouted as he and his Wolf guard took off at top speed. Meri laughed.

“What’s my son getting into now?”

“Oh, a little of this and a little of that probably,” Meri replied casually. “Nothing to worry about too much. He’s still terrified of you though.”

“Good. Let us hope it stays that way for years to come.”

Meri turned to the woman now standing beside her and smiled.

“Don’t smile at me like that. I don’t like it when you smile like that; it’s never anything good.”

“Oh, honestly, Elaine. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Elaine wasn’t convinced in the least. “Sir Jasper, what is my son getting into now?”

“I believe he is seeking retaliation on the Archen Princes for pouring juice on Princess Nina’s toast at dinner.”

“Jasper!” Meri scolded. “Perhaps you need a refresher in keeping your monarch’s confidence.”

“Queen Elaine asked for the Prince’s confidence not yours, Queen Mother,” Jasper replied. “I did not mention to her that you reminded the Prince of the secret passages.”

“Mamma!” Elaine said. “You should not be encouraging such delinquent behavior.”

“If I really wanted to encourage him, I would tell him all of King Edmund’s trade secrets.”

“Mamma, no. Aleksi and I already have a hard time reigning him in. Oh—ungh.”

“Majesty?”

“Sto bene, Ilea,” Elaine said, waving off the concerns of her Lynx guard. “This little Cub doesn’t like that the Queen Mother is aiding and abetting a delinquent Prince either.”

“Or, perhaps he just feels left out,” Meri suggested.

“He?”

“A feeling. A hope. May I?”

“Please, you’re the only one who can calm him…or _her_,” Elaine added pointedly. “The last thing this castle needs is another Prince as wild as Killian.”

Meri placed her hand over Elaine’s swollen belly and leaned in to whisper gently. “*Stai fermo, Nipote.”

“Oh, that’s much better. Grazie, Mamma.”

“Prego. Perhaps you ought to go lie down anyway.”

“A lovely idea. If you see Aleksi, will you let him know?”

“Of course. Do you know where your brother is by chance?”

“Where he always is when he’s not busy with court probably.”

Meri nodded as Elaine began walking away. “Topa!” Meri called and Elaine looked over her shoulder. “Ti amo.”

“E ti amo, Mamma.”

Meri stood there silently as she watched her daughter leave. She was reflecting on the years that had passed since The Four had departed. Such distant memories had been visiting her frequently as of late.

“Queen Mother?” Jasper was concerned by the look on her face and the secrets she seemed to be keeping.

“After the King, Jasper. I’ll explain everything then. Promesso.”

Meri continued on her way in search of her firstborn, King Edward. Along the way, she saw many of the Cair’s inhabitants. Her granddaughters Alaina, Leona, and the twins Avia and Mia were laughing with the visiting Princess Nina while they watched as Killian defended Nina’s honor against her brothers. The Queen Consort Norine was playing hostess to her Galmain cousins. And…

_“Have you seen my wife?”_

_ “I sent her to lie down.”_

_ “Oh, thank you, Mother Meri.”_

Aleksi was in search of his wife.

At last, Meri came upon the music room in which a melodious duet was being played. King Edward sat with his eldest daughter as they played together. Of her two children and six grandchildren (seven if you counted the one on the way), Edward and Saria were the only two who obtained Meri’s talent for music. Well, Elaine had the talent but not the passion to perfect it.

“Brava!” Meri clapped.

“Nonna!” The Princess stood and hugged Meri enthusiastically. Her hugs always reminded Meri of the hugs her Aunt Lulu used to give.

“That was beautiful, Saria. Each time I hear you play, it brings great joy to my heart.”

“Then I should hope to play for you every day, Nonna.”

“You should only ever play for yourself, Nipote, not because it is what someone else wants from you. Now, I would like a moment with your father.”

“Of course, Nonna. I should go find Mamma any way. Ti amo, Babbo.” Saria kissed her father’s cheek and then Meri’s. “Ti amo, Nonna.”

“E ti amo,” Meri and Edward returned.

“Amoux, Jasper, please give us the room and turn your ears.” The Wolf and Tiger did as Meri requested.

“Would you like to join me, Mother?” Edward asked. “That is if those old hands of yours can keep up.”

“*Sposta su!” Meri shooed him off the bench. “Never underestimate the Queen Mother.”

Meri took over the whole keyboard, fingers grazing lightly over the keys as she played an old tune with expert ease. Gradually the notes became heaver and her strikes more fervent as she did a crescendo with the rise and swell of the song until she reached its dynamic climax. Then the melody quickly fell into a soft resolution and the last notes played were barely audible.

Edward seemed at a loss for words. “That was beautiful. What was it called?”

“_Ileana_. I wrote years ago for my Mamma, but she never got to hear it.”

Edward nodded solemnly and sat beside her on the bench once more. “What’s on your mind, Mamma?”

Meri smiled softly and looked at her son. “I think I’ll be traveling soon.”

“By land or by sea? For your sake and the sake of those traveling with you, I hope it’s by land.” Edward smiled. Meri had a terrible case of incurable seasickness anytime she sailed. “How many in your party will you need? I am sure you plan on taking Jasper with you; you recall what happened the last time you left him behind.”

“This is not the sort of traveling I will be doing with others.” Edward looked puzzled, so she continued. “I think the time is near, Ed.”

His brow rose with realization, then his head bowed. “How can you be sure?”

“I’m not. Not really. It’s just…a feeling. I’ve been thinking about them a lot more recently, about The Four and Mamma. I dream of your Aunt Sara most nights and if it’s not her then it’s your Nonno, my Babbo. Did you know, he and I used to play together just like you and Saria?”

“No. I didn’t know he played too.”

Meri nodded. “He was never as good as us, but he’s the reason I got into music.”

“I thought Nonna was.”

“Mamma—” Meri smiled and took a deep breath. “Mamma was the reason I sang, but Babbo introduced me to the piano, and from there the lute and lyre.”

“Then Narnia is still greatly indebted to him. I would hate to see where we’d stand with the Northern Giants if not for the introduction of music to them.”

“Oh!” Meri laughed at the memory of her first military march against the giants of the north. “Yes. You and me both.”

“Have…have you told Elaine about your…feelings?”

“No, and I don’t plan to. She may have been gifted with the Gentle Queen’s temperament at birth, but her pregnancy brings out the Italian in her. I don’t want to make a big fuss out of it, but I thought you should know.”

“That will leave another throne empty.”

“You and Elaine will manage just fine without me, and I think Saria is ready for more responsibility. Let her take over some of Elaine’s duties after the baby comes.”

“I don’t want to let you go, Mamma.” His voice cracked with tears.

“I know, Figlio. I know. Just because I leave this world, doesn’t mean I’ll leave your heart. I will always be with you. And we will meet again on the Golden Shores.”

That night, as Meri lay in bed, she whispered the words, _“I’m ready when you are, Aslan,”_ and a light filled her heart.

**Translations:**

Stai fermo, Nipote: Be still, grandchild

Sposta su: Move over

Figlio: Son


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**1958, London**

Edmund looked down at Ileana where she lay motionless and barely breathing, the same way she had been for nearly twelve hours. The early morning sun was beginning to filter in through the shade. The birds were noisily squawking in the tree outside. It had the makings of a very lovely day, weather-wise, but Edmund felt a dark cloud looming over him. He paced around the small room with memories and thoughts flying through his head.

_“You’re doing what?”_

_ “I’m leaving Narnia…”_

_ Edmund couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This didn’t make any sense. They were supposed to expand their family, not break it up._

_ “….It’s why Aslan wanted to see me alone, or partially why at least,” Lena continued._

_ “No. No this isn’t right; there’s been some mistake.”_

_ “Edmund, please, don’t make this any harder.”_

_ He could hear the grief in her voice. Still, he fought it._

_ “Edmund. Edmund, please look at me.” She placed her hands on his cheeks and turned his face towards hers. It didn’t register to him that he was crying until he felt her wipe away tears._

_ “I love you, Edmund. And the time spent with you has been more than I could ever ask for. I know…”_

_ He tried to pull back; he didn’t want to hear her say goodbye, but she pulled him back in. _

_ “I know you want to fight this. I know you would spend every last hour going toe-to-toe with the Lion if you could, but…be angry with Him tomorrow. As for tonight, please, just be here with me. Then, when the times comes… You have to let me go.” She swallowed her tears. “You have to let me go, Edmund.”_

Edmund returned to Lena’s bedside.

_“You have to let me go, Edmund.”_

“No.” He shook his head. “You’re wrong. When you told me to let you go, you were wrong, Ileana.” He bent over her body and caressed her cheek lovingly. “I will never let you go, Luce, but I…”

He closed his eyes against the tears. When that didn’t work he wiped them away.

“But I… I will let you…begin the next phase of your journey without me. ‘In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.’*”

Edmund tried blinking away more tears but failed and had to use his sleeve. “Go. Prepare our rooms and one day… I will join you there.” He leaned forward and pressed his lips to her forehead.

The first thing Meri noticed when she opened her eyes, was that her oversized fluffy bed had been traded out for a much smaller more uncomfortable bed. The second thing she noticed was that the dim glow of electric light was harsher and more abrasive than the warm Narnian sun. The third was though she still woke up sore it was a different kind of soreness caused by poor sleeping conditions rather than the general aging of the body.

Meri rolled on to her side as she adjusted to her surroundings. She saw a young girl sitting atop the bed next to hers; she was playing with a toy doll and a wooden horse. She turned her head towards Meri, dark curls falling in her face, and smiled.

“Sara!” Meri jolted upright. Sara giggled as Meri floundered over to her and hugged her tight. “Oh, Sara! I’ve missed you so much!”

“Missed me? I just saw you yesterday in, Narnia,” Sara replied with more giggles.

“Just saw me? How long have you been awake?”

Sara shrugged. “I don’ know. I woke up. You were sleeping. So I decided to play. Then you woke up. Now, here we are.”

Meri smiled and tucked a curl behind Sara’s ear; it quickly fell out. “Here we are. What are you playing with? Where did you get those?”

“From Babbo Natale, don’t you remember?”

Meri studied the doll and horse carefully. “They are the ones you got from Babbo Natale, aren’t they.”

Sara nodded. “Aslan let me bring them. But I… do you think I should have left one for Eddie? He might miss me.”

“I am sure he would have wanted you to have them so you can remember him and Narnia.”

“Why would someone forget Narnia?”

Meri shook her head. “I’m not sure they ever could really. I know we just saw each other in Narnia, but I have missed you, Sara. Ti amo, Sorella.”

“E ti amo, Princess Meri.” Sara giggled.

The door to their room opened then, bathing them in light. “I thought I heard voices in here.”

“Aunt Susan,” Meri said with a smile.

While Sara jumped off the bed to hug Susan, Meri studied her face. There was a strange sadness to her eyes, and Meri remembered where they were and why they were there. Susan nodded and held out her and to Meri.

“Come; it’s nearly time,” she said.

Meri took Sara’s hand and followed Susan into the hall. They turned a corner and saw Lucy and Peter standing outside a room. Lucy hurried over to hug each of them, Susan included. Peter, however, met them halfway. He bowed his head to Meri and she curtsied back before embracing him. Then she and Sara continued to the room. Their mother was lying on a hospital bed and their father was leaning over, kissing her head. He stood up straight and stood with his back to them for a moment. Then, as though sensing a presence behind him, he turned around slowly. There was a beat of second before…

“BABBO!” Sara screeched and ran forward.

She was immediately swept into Edmund’s arms where she cried and laughed and babbled into his neck and shoulders, while he hugged her, and kissed her, and cried along with her. Meri made her way over at a much slower pace but she received just as much love and affection from him as he wrapped an arm around her neck and held her tight.

“Oh, Meri. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t know you when you first arrived.”

Meri laughed through her tears. “That was years ago, Babbo. It’s all right.”

She pulled back and wiped the tears from both their faces, before looking over his shoulder. Her mother lay as thin and sickly as the day she arrived in Narnia, but Meri thought she could see—or perhaps she merely sensed it—a lighter glow to her skin. Surely it was a remnant of the Lion’s love. Meri made her way over slowly. She leaned down to her ear, her hand sliding into her mother’s and spoke softly to her.

“Give my love to Teagan and all the others. Tell them I will see them again one day.”

Meri smiled and pulled back. Edmund was watching her closely.

“It would seem we have things to discuss,” he said.

Meri nodded. “There is so much I have to tell you, Babbo… later.”

“Later,” he agreed.

“Babbo?” Sara directed his attention back to her. “Is Mamma going to go live with Aslan and Jesus now?”

Edmund swallowed the lump in his throat. “Yeah, Topa; she is.”

Sara stretched out an arm towards the bed and tried leaning in closer. Edmund walked her over. She kissed her mother’s cheek and laid her princess doll in her arms.

“Ti amo, Mamma.”

**Four Days Later**

“Thank you for stopping by. Edmund and the girls greatly appreciate it,” Susan said diplomatically at the door. Meanwhile, Meri rummaged through the drink cabinet.

“I feel I should remind you that you are only sixteen again,” Peter warned. Meri gave him a look. “But far be it for me to stop a Queen of Narnia.”

“Queen Mother, actually,” Meri corrected.

“My apologies.” Peter held up his hands.

Meri smiled coyly before pulling out whiskey glasses and a bottle of red. “I prefer ale myself,” she said.

“Wine’s too sweet.”

“Exactly,” she agreed. She studied the bottle a moment before sighing. “But it was Mamma’s drink of choice.”

She popped the cork and poured a little into each glass. With Peter’s help, she carried them and the bottle into the sitting room.

“The last of the visitors have left.”

“Thank you, Aunt Susan,” Meri said as she handed her a glass.

“Of course, Merina. Anything you or Ed need, just ask.”

“Speaking of Edmund, is he still putting Sara to bed?” Lucy asked as she took her cup from Peter.

“Hopefully not,” Edmund replied as he came in, rubbing his hand over his face. “Hopefully this one takes.”

Meri handed him a glass and he drank its contents. Meri poured him more wine with a sigh.

“I don’t think she means for you to drink it just yet,” Peter said.

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Meri replied.

“Oops. Then I think I need some more as well,” Lucy said, holding up her empty glass.

“And that is why I brought the bottle.”

“Where’s Holly?” Susan asked.

“She’s feeding Stevie,” Peter replied.

“Was feeding,” Holly said as she came in with Stevie on her hip. “Was feeding but now he’s been burped and changed. He should be good to go for a while. Is that glass for me?”

“Yes, but don’t drink just yet; Meri’s about to give a toast,” Peter said, exchanging a cup for a baby.

“Right then.” Meri held up her glass. “To Mamma. She was stubborn at the best of times and single-minded at the worst. But she loved her family the way she was loved: more deeply and more fully than she ever could have imagined. She will be missed and we will cherish the memory of her always. And one day, we shall join her on the Golden Shores where she waits with all those who have gone before us.”

There was a pause before Peter said, “To Lena.”

“To Lena,” was repeated throughout the room and last of all by Edmund.

“That was lovely, Meri,” Lucy said picking up the bottle and re-filling her cup.

“Thanks. Sadly, it was not my first farewell toast.”

“Peter was always really good at giving farewell toasts and speeches too,” Susan said.

“It never got any easier though,” he said.

“Really? I found that if you let the ale flow for a bit it made everyone more susceptible to laughing which in turn made the toasts more comical,” Meri said. Everyone looked at her a bit quizzically. “I simply meant that you focus more on the deceased’s laughter and smile instead of your own ache at losing them.”

“Oh, that’s a lovely idea,” Lucy said. “We should do another toast later then.” She refilled her glass.

“I so easily forget of your secret travels sometimes,” Holly said shaking her head. “Perhaps because I never had any of my own.” Holly was not a Friend of Narnia in the traveling sense, but she knew all the tales.

“I do wish you could have seen Narnia, Love,” Peter said.

“Yes, but you wouldn’t have wanted to see Peter there,” Susan said. “He was all awkward and fumbling around girls.”

“What do you mean ‘was awkward’? He still is.” Holly laughed.

“They’re being mean to Da-Da, Stevie. What should we do?” Peter asked the four-month-old in his lap; he received a gurgling giggle in response. “He laughed! Did you hear that? He just laughed.”

“Yes, Peter; we all heard the baby laughing at you,” Lucy replied, laughing herself.

Peter didn’t seem to mind that everyone was now laughing at his expense, everyone except Edmund who had remained silent since the toast. Meri reached for his hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. He took in a deep breath and squeezed back. The conversation carried on around them until Lucy brought it back to her.

“Alright, Meri, I think I’ve been patient long enough.” Lucy set her empty glass on a table. “I want to know everything. How long? What happened? _Who_ happened?”

“Oh, that sounds like we’re going to talk about Narnia again,” Holly said excitedly.

“Are you sure? It’s a bit of a long story,” Meri said.

“We could use a bit of Narnia right now, I think,” Susan said.

“Yes, and I’d like to hear about this ‘Queen Mother’ business,” Peter added.

“Queen Mother? I like the sound of that,” Lucy said. Holly agreed.

“There are far more pressing matters to attend to, Brother,” Edmund said stiffly. He took a sip from his glass and cleared his throat. “I want to know who this _Teagan_ fellow is you mentioned in hospital.” He eyed Meri suspiciously; she smiled.

“Teagan was a spice trader from Doorn. He was tall, cute, and a very good kisser.”

“I don’t need to know that much about him.” Edmund scowled; Meri laughed

“He was a good man, Babbo, and an even better father. You would have loved him.”

“A father? So I’m a grandpa then?”

Meri’s smile deepened. “A _great_-grandpa actually.”

_ **La Fine** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The Bible verse Edmund quoted was from John chapter 14 verse 2 in the King James Version
> 
> Well, there it is. The final chapter. I know this hasn't been one of my most viewed stories. That's a little disappointing, sure, but I am still very proud of it and I hope those of you reading it have enjoyed it as well. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support and for sticking with me through the delays.
> 
> I have toyed with the idea of delving deeper into Meri's stay in Narnia and the exploring who The Queen Mother is, and also with visiting Edmund in Prince Caspian as he attempts to rescue Lena from Miraz and all the chaos he would unleash in doing so but... I think those plot lines will have to take a backseat for now.
> 
> In the meantime, you may check out my other works if you so desire. I have also begun work for a new Narnian tale entitled Allegiance staring our beloved Just King again, but it may be a while before I begin posting it.
> 
> Thank you all once more. It has been a joy to share with you.


	26. Epilogue

**Epilogue **

**2002, London**

Edmund sat in the same chair in the same house doing the same thing he did every Friday night: flipping through the family photo album. The album had been a gift from Sara for his fiftieth birthday, and it had been added to over the years. It held pictures from Sara’s wedding, and the birth of her son, Alexander. It had pictures from Lucy’s wedding, and then from Susan’s. There were pictures from their family vacation to the Bahamas a few years back and of their most recent trip to Italy.

Sara had even managed to track down the old church photographer who was responsible for documenting all the weddings with a photo to obtain a copy of Lena and Edmund’s wedding. It was Edmund’s favorite picture. He could sit and stare at it for hours; that’s why he always started at the back of the album so he could end with Lena’s face.

_ “Oh, look at Stevie in that one. He looks just like Peter there; poor thing.”_

Edmund turned the page.

_ “That one is one of my favorites of Lucy. She was so beautiful that day.”_

Edmund smiled and flipped a few more pages.

_ “Maybe it’s the bias in me speaking, but as beautiful as Lucy was on her wedding day, she doesn’t hold a candle to Sara on hers.” _

He continued his journey through time.

_ “Look at Alex there! Someone really ought to show this picture to the girl he’s courting now. If I recall, he spat up on you just after this was taken… Oh, and there it is. I’m so glad Sara got that on film.”_

Edmund laughed. “I nearly forgot about that.”

_ “Well, that’s what happens when you get old.”_

Edmund continued to flip through the book, page after page until he came to his own wedding picture. He paid no mind to his younger image, but only focused on Lena. He ran a finger down her cheek.

“I’ve missed you…so much, Mi Amore.”

_“Well, I don’t know why. I’ve been with you the whole time, Cuore.” Lena took a sip of wine before setting her glass down. “You know what? I think I want to dance. Dance with me, Ed.”_

Edmund’s eyes stayed locked on the photo. Lena was in the middle of a laugh. Even in the black-and-white image, he could see the light in her eyes and the glow in her cheeks. She had never been more beautiful than she was then.

_ “Please, Edmund? Dance with me.” Lena held out her hand to him._

Edmund thought he could almost hear her laughter.

_ Lena laughed. “Ed. Edmund. Little King. Cuore.”_

Edmund looked up from the book. “Lena?”

“There you are. Come dance with me.”

Edmund took her outstretched hand and allowed her to help him stand. “Lena…I… this must be some sort of dream.”

“Would it be so bad if it was? Now, we need music. Do you think you can still lead if I sing?”

“Only one way to find out.”

Edmund pulled her body against his and placed a hand on her waist. He pressed his cheek to hers, and as she sang he led them in a small circle. Nothing fancy. But as they danced, something truly remarkable began to happen.

The chair he’d been sitting in faded away. The walls of the room melted into nothing and new ones formed in their place. The new walls were different though, more grand, more regal in appearance. As for Edmund, well, he changed too. He de-aged. It started with his hair. The thin and bald patches filled in and the gray became black once more. The wrinkles on his face and hands smoothed. His clothing de-aged as well. Gone was the English-style of clothing and in its place was the attire of a Narnian King, complete with a silver crown.

Lena pulled back and smiled. “Welcome back, King Edmund.”

“You are as beautiful as the day I married you. How is that possible?” His voice was younger too he noticed.

Lena shrugged. “Beauty has no age here. Every day that passes remains as beautiful as the day before.” She stepped back to a set of double doors. “Would you like to meet the other half of your family? They are all eager to meet you.”

“Perhaps, but first…can we just dance some more?”

Lena smiled. “I suppose they can wait a bit longer.” She pushed off the door and returned to his arms.


End file.
